worst xmas ever

[omo851]

i am normally such a lively outgoing person and have never had to look on the internet for any kind of help ever before. in fact only a few months ago i had a life that most would be envious of. i had lots of friends a beautiful girlfriend for 4 years whom i loved and whom loved me i was doing well at uni and had no money problems as i had just switched jobs to one i was happy with. the only problem was that my parents both had cancer but it was undercontrol.

 

Then in October the problems started, my girlfriend had always wanted a puppy and i always said i would get her one when we got our own flat but since i was at uni for another year i couldnt move out of my parents because of only having a part-yime job. So for her birthday i got her this puppy which cost 350 quid, not much for a dog i know but consider my monthly income is about 300 before tax then i have to pay rent and car stuff ect. Shortly after my Dad got test results back which showed he now had 3 more lumps in his lung and one in his liver (he had previously had two ops on lungs and bowel) this came as a shock still, my mum didnt take this news very well and since having a type of blood cancer herself took a bad spell and became fairly week. Days after my girlfriend told me she had cheated on me, i asked to take a break for a few days to sort myself out (i had not told her about my parents becoming ill again) after a few days i decided to forgive her as i loved her and couldnt be without her. She told me that she had enjoyed being on her own and didnt want to get back together. I then spent the rest of october not doing much barely coming out.

 

In november my life got better, my friends picked me up and i started to enjoy myself including attention from other females. At this point i was still friends with my ex,

 

Then in December i started getting texts from my ex saying did i wanna go to the cinema ect, since we were still friends i went, film was crap but after we talked for hours and got quite close, in the next week i saw her a few times and had a good time ,each time getting closer. Then one night i bot a text from her, she had been out with her work friends and had a few to drink, she text me and asked me to come to hers. i went to hers and we talked and cuddled and ended up having sex. After we talked and cuddled like we always used to, needless to say i thought that soon we were going to get back together. a few days later it was xmas eve and i had been out with my friends and was a little drunk. She was there and i was chatting to her buying her drinks and complimenting her on her clothes ect. But about 11 i heard that she was outside kissing one of my friends (not best friends but one i trusted) he isnt really to blame as i had kept our meeting secret. I went home on my own before xmas came and cryed myself to sleep. For the next week i only went out of my house for work.

 

Its now new years eve and i am on my own, my friends are at a party but she is there and cant face being in the same room as her as i dont want to start a scene, my friends think i am over reacting as they dont know about our meetings and because we broke up two months ago. i know i should tell them but i cant as it hurts to much. I have nothing left here for me and i would go away somewhere but cant because of uni. i am so depressed and lonely. i have never been on my own in my adult life i am 20 and met her when i was 16. Xmas was so hard and its just getting worse.

[Jinx]

It seems like the friends can't understand your situation. Have any of them been a similar situation that you know of? That in itself maybe the reason, and if it is so, they may just be unable to comprehend the depth that this relationship had for you and the pain associated with it.

 

Even though it may mean avoiding friends for awhile, one of the best medicines is keeping away from her. Seeing her, especially with another friend, is just opening wounds up all over again and just getting progressively deeper as they go.

 

One thing you may consider and have even thought about it myself for New Years, do you have any clubs or places out there which you hear are holding a community party? I know here and there our town holds them and it is open to the public for a small fee. Depending which ones you go to will depend what sort of people are there (Some are catered towards teens, others midlife, and some have an older crowd). If you could check that out you may be able to have a social New Years but avoid the pain as much as possible which would be associated with those friends.

 

Do you have maybe any acquaintances or other friends which you could talk to? Maybe even call just to let out the burden from the situation?

[omo851]

all my friends will be at this party, if i went out i would be on my own which is even more depressing, and no none of my friends can relate hence using this forum. i know it just needs time like it did before but i hate being on my own and i am so lonely

[nikkers04]

I'm sorry you are having such a tough end of the year. I know exactly how you feel aside from the parents having cancer. If you need to talk feel free to PM me.

I woke up this morning with hope.

My ex was right...In the end everything will be fine!!

A-He will come back

or

B-I will lose hope and stop wanting him

 

Just take care of your self get out there and try to have fun. I know its hard. I dont want to go out tonight but hey I'm going to give it a shot...a great way to meet new friends that do understand.

[Consumed]

Hey, in some respects I can relate to your situation, it's been said millions of times but in finding this site you really have made the first giant step to recovering from this and coming out stronger than you imagined you could.

 

It dawned on me today, we are in control of our lives. I have no friends, no money, no girlfriend...no life. I too will be spending New Year's Eve on my own, checking my email in the vain attempt someone, somewhere will have sent me something. They never do. Then I thought whilst reading another post here, I do so much for so many people, yet this is never reciprocated. I realised at the end of the day these people are not worth having as friends, they are your 'friend' when it suits them.

 

To get to my point, yes, i am doing nothing this new year's eve, I have no friends or money, and again I shall check emails which never come....but, 2006 can and will be different. I'm sick of waiting on people, striving to please others who couldn't care less for myself. I am who I am, 2006 will be the start of the rest of my life, I suggest you make it yours too.

 

It's also just dawned on me that my post has no bearing on what help you initially sought, but as long as you know you really arn't on your own, there are others in the same 'shoes' as you, then it's got to help. Besides, there is too much pressure that you MUST enjoy yourself on New Year's, no one ever does, so let's count ourselves lucky not to be in that position. Now, must check my emails