omo851

all my friends will be at this party, if i went out i would be on my own which is even more depressing, and no none of my friends can relate hence using this forum. i know it just needs time like it did before but i hate being on my own and i am so lonely

i am normally such a lively outgoing person and have never had to look on the internet for any kind of help ever before. in fact only a few months ago i had a life that most would be envious of. i had lots of friends a beautiful girlfriend for 4 years whom i loved and whom loved me i was doing well at uni and had no money problems as i had just switched jobs to one i was happy with. the only problem was that my parents both had cancer but it was undercontrol. Then in October the problems started, my girlfriend had always wanted a puppy and i always said i would get her one when we got our own flat but since i was at uni for another year i couldnt move out of my parents because of only having a part-yime job. So for her birthday i got her this puppy which cost 350 quid, not much for a dog i know but consider my monthly income is about 300 before tax then i have to pay rent and car stuff ect. Shortly after my Dad got test results back which showed he now had 3 more lumps in his lung and one in his liver (he had previously had two ops on lungs and bowel) this came as a shock still, my mum didnt take this news very well and since having a type of blood cancer herself took a bad spell and became fairly week. Days after my girlfriend told me she had cheated on me, i asked to take a break for a few days to sort myself out (i had not told her about my parents becoming ill again) after a few days i decided to forgive her as i loved her and couldnt be without her. She told me that she had enjoyed being on her own and didnt want to get back together. I then spent the rest of october not doing much barely coming out. In november my life got better, my friends picked me up and i started to enjoy myself including attention from other females. At this point i was still friends with my ex, Then in December i started getting texts from my ex saying did i wanna go to the cinema ect, since we were still friends i went, film was crap but after we talked for hours and got quite close, in the next week i saw her a few times and had a good time ,each time getting closer. Then one night i bot a text from her, she had been out with her work friends and had a few to drink, she text me and asked me to come to hers. i went to hers and we talked and cuddled and ended up having sex. After we talked and cuddled like we always used to, needless to say i thought that soon we were going to get back together. a few days later it was xmas eve and i had been out with my friends and was a little drunk. She was there and i was chatting to her buying her drinks and complimenting her on her clothes ect. But about 11 i heard that she was outside kissing one of my friends (not best friends but one i trusted) he isnt really to blame as i had kept our meeting secret. I went home on my own before xmas came and cryed myself to sleep. For the next week i only went out of my house for work. Its now new years eve and i am on my own, my friends are at a party but she is there and cant face being in the same room as her as i dont want to start a scene, my friends think i am over reacting as they dont know about our meetings and because we broke up two months ago. i know i should tell them but i cant as it hurts to much. I have nothing left here for me and i would go away somewhere but cant because of uni. i am so depressed and lonely. i have never been on my own in my adult life i am 20 and met her when i was 16. Xmas was so hard and its just getting worse.

i am normally such a lively outgoing person and have never had to look on the internet for any kind of help ever before. in fact only a few months ago i had a life that most would be envious of. i had lots of friends a beautiful girlfriend for 4 years whom i loved and whom loved me i was doing well at uni and had no money problems as i had just switched jobs to one i was happy with. the only problem was that my parents both had cancer but it was undercontrol. Then in October the problems started, my girlfriend had always wanted a puppy and i always said i would get her one when we got our own flat but since i was at uni for another year i couldnt move out of my parents because of only having a part-yime job. So for her birthday i got her this puppy which cost 350 quid, not much for a dog i know but consider my monthly income is about 300 before tax then i have to pay rent and car stuff ect. Shortly after my Dad got test results back which showed he now had 3 more lumps in his lung and one in his liver (he had previously had two ops on lungs and bowel) this came as a shock still, my mum didnt take this news very well and since having a type of blood cancer herself took a bad spell and became fairly week. Days after my girlfriend told me she had cheated on me, i asked to take a break for a few days to sort myself out (i had not told her about my parents becoming ill again) after a few days i decided to forgive her as i loved her and couldnt be without her. She told me that she had enjoyed being on her own and didnt want to get back together. I then spent the rest of october not doing much barely coming out. In november my life got better, my friends picked me up and i started to enjoy myself including attention from other females. At this point i was still friends with my ex, Then in December i started getting texts from my ex saying did i wanna go to the cinema ect, since we were still friends i went, film was crap but after we talked for hours and got quite close, in the next week i saw her a few times and had a good time ,each time getting closer. Then one night i bot a text from her, she had been out with her work friends and had a few to drink, she text me and asked me to come to hers. i went to hers and we talked and cuddled and ended up having sex. After we talked and cuddled like we always used to, needless to say i thought that soon we were going to get back together. a few days later it was xmas eve and i had been out with my friends and was a little drunk. She was there and i was chatting to her buying her drinks and complimenting her on her clothes ect. But about 11 i heard that she was outside kissing one of my friends (not best friends but one i trusted) he isnt really to blame as i had kept our meeting secret. I went home on my own before xmas came and cryed myself to sleep. For the next week i only went out of my house for work. Its now new years eve and i am on my own, my friends are at a party but she is there and cant face being in the same room as her as i dont want to start a scene, my friends think i am over reacting as they dont know about our meetings and because we broke up two months ago. i know i should tell them but i cant as it hurts to much. I have nothing left here for me and i would go away somewhere but cant because of uni. i am so depressed and lonely. i have never been on my own in my adult life i am 20 and met her when i was 16. Xmas was so hard and its just getting worse.