Can one really love two people?

[NoMoreWill]

I would like to know if anyone has ever experienced loving two people at once? Being with one you're envolved with and then meeting another whom you cultivate a relationship and fall in love with.

 

This isn't my situation, I could never love two people equally at the same time. I believe love is only meant for one person. One can love others in ways like friendship or family but... to be IN love with two people? Is it possible?

 

And what do you say to someone who says they're in love with two? How do you rationalize that?

 

I'm very curious.

[Mrocza]

I actually saw an interesting show about that, or rather polygamy, on the Montel Williams show.

 

I personally can't seem to rationalize it. :S One relationship is more than enough for me to handle.

[nikkers04]

I would say no...It may seem that you could love 2 people the same way but in my opinion one is love and the other....lust!

[Shadows Light]

I'd say it was possible. While it may not be ethical... it is possible. You would love them each for thier individual qualities.

 

A few years ago.. my 4 year old went through a "I HATE DADDY" stage. And this really bugged me. Things at home weren't great...but I got the brunt of his temper. Anyway.... I thought that maybe she felt "disloyal" to me if she said she loved him. So, I worked with her to tell her that her little heart had room for lots of people. And that she can love many people, maybe NOT the same way... but she can love them never the less. I tried to explain to her that my love for her was different than my love for her daddy, or her grandparents, relatives and friends. I loved them all..but differently. For different reasons. It took her a while but she understood it.

 

And in that simple explanation of LOVE to a child.. I'd say, yes... it is possible to LOVE or be in LOVE with 2 people for different attributes and reason. Each is unique and appart from each other. While it is unethical to love more than one person... it is POSSIBLE. And since polygomy is outlawed... I think its best phschologically and socially for you to STICK to one person.

 

I've always said we were "serial monogimists" as a species. Because we are slated to MATE with one person at a time.

[novaseeker]

I don't think it's really possible to be equally intimate emotionally with two people. It's possible to "love" people in different ways, but I don't think we have more than one really intimate emotional relationship at a time.

[Tigris]

It is possible but it's a different kind of love. I loved my husband but fell in love with someone else. My marriage was on the rocks! I kept my love secret from the other person for a full year. Eventually I asked for a divorce and then remarried.

[NoMoreWill]

It is possible but it's a different kind of love. I loved my husband but fell in love with someone else. My marriage was on the rocks! I kept my love secret from the other person for a full year. Eventually I asked for a divorce and then remarried.

 

That's more of the situation I was in (except she didn't leave her husband). She said she loved us equally. It was something I couldn't accept and I'm still trying to wrap my head around that.

 

I do believe she loves her husband. I believe she cares about him and all of the things that entail that. However, I don't think she's IN love with him; it's just easier for her to go back to him.

 

And another question -- could being love with one person make it more difficult to cultivate love for the other person?

[SuperDuper]

Of course.

It can be very difficult because of that constant reminder of the "other" person.

 

If you're here for advice, I would say for you to part ways with this woman. At least until she has her priorities straight.

 

It must be very difficult knowing that you have to share this woman's heart with another man. Though you weren't the first one she fell in love with, it could be stronger than her current infatuation with her husband.

 

Back off, and let her come to you. I would say don't get tangled with a married woman. Way too much baggage, at least until she files for a divorce so you two can maintain a solo (2 people) relationship.