Men are from Mars: Women are from Venus. Good?

[Bigbilly]

Just wondering if anyone has ever read that book. I almost picked it up, but I learned that the guy who wrote it isn't actually a Doctor, and a lot of reviews I've read deride him for being stereotypical in his descriptions of women.

 

I just thought it would be a good book that would help me understand the differences in thought processes between men and women. I'm all about the self-help books, but I wanna make sure I get a good one.

 

Any thoughts? Suggestions?

[bleeder]

Hi Bigbilly,

 

I read the book some years ago, but I wouldn't say that it is thrash. John Gray, the author, covered some pretty good angles when it comes to the differences between men and women. You need not take it as a bible where relationships are concerned, but the book serves as a good aid in judging how women tick when different situations arise.

 

The bottom line of the book's message is, more often than not, neither the man nor the woman is wrong, but it is the differences in our way of thinking and communication which lead to conflicts.

 

Hope this helps with your decision in getting the book.

[Shadows Light]

Its a good starting point. Pick it up at a used book-store or half-priced books. Better yet.. at the library as I pick up most of my books.

 

Just like Parenting books... you need to pick and choose between books, do your research and then adapt to the situation.

 

Dr. Phil also has a few good ones out there.

[blackjack_lover]

Bigbilly

It's not a bad book, but you are a guy trying to figure out women, right? So why not read a book written by a woman to help a guy figure out women? Check out "what women want men to know" by Beverly Deangeles SP?

It's a good read, informative and enlightening. A note though, some of the chapters seem to be written toward women, and in fact it is a good read for your woman too ;-)

[PocoDiablo]

If you want a book that I think is a great way to understand how you, as a guy, and how to do some self-improvement spcifically regarding relationships then check out link removed. You can get his book cheap on eBay (like $15 last I saw) and I highly recommend it.

 

You can also ask Venturer (here on the site) about it. He picked it up a few weeks ago and I must say the changes he's realized are out of this world. I'll see if I can get him to chime in.

 

Here's a quick overview:

 

link removed (scroll down)

 

And here's where he gives advice:

 

link removed

[novaseeker]

I have to say the advice given there seems geared at subterfuge and manipulation. I'm more inclined to advise people to be themselves and find someone who accepts them for that, than to create an artificial challenge to maintain someone's interest.

 

As for Venus & Mars ... it contains some interesting information about how men and women communicate differently. It's pretty basic stuff, but at your age it's probably a good read. Don't read too much into it or base your life around it or anything .. it's just some basic information that is more or less true enough for most people.

[PocoDiablo]

I have to say the advice given there seems geared at subterfuge and manipulation. I'm more inclined to advise people to be themselves and find someone who accepts them for that, than to create an artificial challenge to maintain someone's interest.

Actually it's not. If you read that overview/review page it basically shows how he says you need to be a gentleman - and gives good examples. It's the only dating advice I've found that does not deal with manipulation, tickery, etc., but more about "open your eyes" and "read her signals" and stuff like that. It does say to not be boring, but there's nothing wrong with that in my opinion. It is more about self-improvement.

 

Oh, and I should point out, the askmen site has a LOT of writers on it, and I don't agree with most of them - so in that regards you are right. I was specifically talking about that one guy, so you need to pay attention to who the writer is because the site jumps around.

[Venturer]

Hi guys - this Dr. Phil: where did you realize that he's not actually a doctor? I didn't know that.

 

I read his book once, and I felt it was more geared towards married couples rather than dating or even long-term relationships pre-marriage. I also felt it was too... I dunno... what's the word... sympathetic to women. I don't know if that accurately describes the book, but I can say this for sure:

 

The doc love book that Poco is talking about is LIGHT-YEARS better than any other book or site I've ever read.

 

I must say that I was reluctant to buy that book, as I was skeptical, and I've heard the pick-up-girls-and-get-laid-quick sales spiels a million times. I thought he'd be the same.

 

But no. Unlike most other seduction sites, he thinks about the long-term rather than short-term. He also emphasizes that it's about YOU and your behavior, and that you want to find a good woman with a good head on her shoulders instead of taking what you can get and settling with it.

 

I'm still reading it and I don't have a full grasp on his concepts yet, not by a long shot, but it is a good wake up call to begin with.

[volution]

Hi guys - this Dr. Phil: where did you realize that he's not actually a doctor? I didn't know that..

 

A bit like Dr. Pepper ?

[Bigbilly]

What is the book called? All I see is an advertisement for some program.

[Shadows Light]

Venturer, I'm pretty sure that Dr. Phil has the credentials of a Doctor in the phsychaitric field. I think the poster was referring to JOHN GRAY, the author of Men are from MARS/Women from Venus.

 

Dr. Phil may slant his books toward women more. Toward his target audiance. Most relationship self help books are bought by women. As women are the said to be the primary nurture'ers of a relationship. And the ones usually throwing up their hands in frustration and calling it quits. In one of his books he adds a note to women. That basically says.. "HEY.. we're men and we are clueless. Help us, teach us.. have patience" and then there is a letter to the guys..something to the effect of "hey man, wake up and smell the coffee, you'd better get a CLUE real quick." - Relationship Rescue book

[darkblue]

It's not a bad book. It has some interesting points.

As with any book of that nature - read it and pick up things that you think ring true or can use, etc - ditch the rest.

 

Much like the advice on these forums...

[PocoDiablo]

What is the book called? All I see is an advertisement for some program.

The Doc Love book is called "The System" and includes a "Dating Dictionary" and one or two CDs for $99.

 

But check on eBay first, usually you can find a used one for cheap. (Although I personally think anyone selling it is nuts!)

[OceanEyes]

If men can find some useful info from a self-book like that, I say GREAT. I just read through one of this "Doc Love" character's pieces of advice, and it seems sound, although I was a bit put off by this comment:

 

"And like I tell you guys up front: no Mercenaries, no Feministas, and no whack-jobs."

 

I can understand the bits about mercenaries and whack-jobs (shouldn't that sort of go without saying, Doc?), but the Feminist movement is simply about choice and equality of the sexes. If there wouldn't have been a feminist movement, birth control and abortions would still be illegal, and we would be expected to stay at home raising kids as our sole purpose in life -- just to name a few. What man wants to argue with a woman taking the pill and earning money?

 

Assuming that all feminists are man-hating, bra-burning activist radicals is really outdated. I doubt that I would want to date a man like that.

[PocoDiablo]

I totally agree with where you are coming from on that point. However, I really *must* point out that he goes to great pains to point out that he loves women, and he has no problems with feminists. He does have a problem with Feministas, which should be more adequately labelled "extremists" of the feminist movement, so to speak.

 

So, again, he's just saying "Avoid the extreme crazy women."

[Venturer]

If anyone is still unsure about the doc love book, go here: link removed

 

Every week or so, he gives out free advice to someone who wrote him a story about his situation with a girl. See how you like it and his writing style, and then decide.

[OceanEyes]

So, again, he's just saying "Avoid the extreme crazy women."

 

Yes, but let's hope that this particular piece of advice is considered a matter of common sense.

[fantasia2004]

Just wondering if anyone has ever read that book. I almost picked it up, but I learned that the guy who wrote it isn't actually a Doctor, and a lot of reviews I've read deride him for being stereotypical in his descriptions of women.

 

I just thought it would be a good book that would help me understand the differences in thought processes between men and women. I'm all about the self-help books, but I wanna make sure I get a good one.

 

Any thoughts? Suggestions?

 

all I know is the author of that book if I AM right from what my friend told me, ended their marriage using the same techniques that they explain in the book!

 

I could be wrong. I never read the book.

[Shadows Light]

Fantasia 2004. I don't know if he ended his marriage using the same techniques in the book. I do know his wife at the time of the writing of that book.. is also an author and phsycologist in her own right... writing books on relationships etc. And AYE.. that marriage did end at some point.

 

Doesn't make him any less credible to sight his proffesional opinions on the differences in ways men and women communicate. I don't think that it was a SELF-HELP book on how to save a marriage or a relationship, per se. I think it was a self-help book on trying to understand the lingo and hard-wiring between men and women. AND in that understanding... it may HELP with issues that crop up within a relationship. Not solve them. But help them.

 

Its just another tool. And when you have tools to fix things... you usually carry different tools in your tool box.