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How to tell a girl you just want to be friends?

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Ok, so lately (referring to my post in the Relationships forum).....I've been becoming close with a friend. She has shown signs that she likes me, but I'm not sure I want to risk it etc etc etc.....because she is in the circle of friends I hang out with now. And I am the "newest person" in this circle of friends, so of course everyone is better friends with her. My best friend actually happens to be in that circle as well, seeing as that's how I got associated with them.


But anyway. How do I tell her that I just want to be friends (assuming sshe makes a move and asks me out.....because I don't plan on asking her out since I think it's best to stay friends)? I don't want to make it sound as if there is something wrong with her and that's the reason I don't want to go out with her....because I actually like her too. And a few weekends ago I made a mistake of showing a slight sign that I did like her. Not to such an extent that she has shown signs towards me, but hopefully she didn't notice too much.


And yeah, I want to get involved with her, but I've weighed my decisions and I think it's best to just stay out of this one.

1) Same group of friends, people might take sides

2) My best friend is best friends with this girl too. She's known this girl longer, so I have a slight feeling she might side with her too.


And so yeah. How exactly do I tell her this? I was thinking maybe like "I'm just not ready for a relationship", "I can't really juggle school and a relationship right now"....or something, but those might just come off as excuses. I don't want her to think that it's because of her that I don't want to go out with her, but yeah. Should I tell her I like her too but explain to her why we should remain friends, or should I just keep it as simple as possible?

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If she does indeed make the first move you'll want to put it as short and sweet as possible but with some explanation or else you'll shooting yourself in the foot with it.


I think in that case, the best approach is to state something about she is a nice person but at this point in time you don't have the time or resources to manage a relationship. Say it isn't anything against her, (thus the nice person part) but you're just not up for it. Of course each person will differ on what they believe is the proper approach, but that should work well and have some padding if she asks.


Women I notice a lot of times can be worse than men when it comes to beating around the bush about asking dates. Men are more prone to be blunt in my experience, which in this type of case may be a problem. Reason I'm saying this is that she may try to ask you out but in a scenario which seems nothing but friendly but the wheels are really turning the back of her mind until you get sucked in. It truly depends if she is an extrovert about asking and attention when it comes down to it, or she will wiggle her way in without much warning.

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i really dont understand you so much... do u like her or not ?


from what i understood u like her but u want to keep her as a friend now..


if so.. then tell her that.. tell her that u like her too but for ( the reasons u said ) we cant have something now.. we should stay friends.. Honesty is the best thing in these situations.. I dont recomment telling her something u dont mean just to make her feel good..


if you just like her as a friend then tell her so.. If you want more but not now tell her that also.. Goodluck

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so basically, you like her, but are afraid of losing her friendship and the friendship of this group. Do I have this right?


I understand what you mean. Last year, I was in a group of friends, and I made a move on a guy I was friends with, and things went downhill shortly thereafter, and I wasn't really part of that group of friends anymore. Yeah, so, there is really the potential to lose some good friends.


I would just tell her flat out - that you like her, but are afraid of ruining the friendship. Because if you two stop dating (which is a strong possibility), that would make things awkward, and you don't want to lose this group of friends.


Tell her the truth. If you want, take things super slow...


good luck - I know it's a tough situation.

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What if she keeps showing more signs but doesn't actually make her move? Because this upcoming weekend there's a big gathering, and I don't know if she'll show any more signs then. But what if she does? Should I take her aside and talk to her about it? It'd only be an assumption at that point, and I wouldn't know for sure that she actually likes me. But if she keeps showing signs, I don't want to just keep letting it happen and then reject her if she asks me out, that will just make me look like I'm playing on her emotions.


I personally am thinking of just talking to her if she asks me out.....in the meantime for future gatherings, I won't "avoid" her, but I'll try to keep somewhat of a distance.


Insight anyone? And thanks to those who replied to the original post. And Annie24, your post really did help me sort my thoughts out.....especially since you mentioned that whole circle of friends thing.

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