Is it wrong to be happy about being pregnant when your only a teenager?

[darkblue]

You have to think very long, and very hard about this situation.

If you were to give that baby up and THEN have regrets - you would have to live with that.

 

It is a huge thing.

Right now - it is your child.

[Hope75]

It's just, I can't imagine giving my baby that I carried for 9 months away to somebody. Then, as you mentioned, your friend made a selfless decision when she gave her child

 

It's not selfish to want to keep and raise your child.

 

I was giving you an example of what my best friend did, because that was the right decision for her. That doesn't mean that you have to do it.

 

If you have the means to raise this child and the support and want to keep her, then you should.

 

I think it's natural to be afraid when you are expecting your first child, you have so many questions and wonder if you will be a good mom...even older new moms feel that way too. It's a big responsiblity, being accountable for loving, providing for, shaping and teaching a new life.

 

If you are interested, call your local hospitals, they often offer parenting classes to help answer questions and address fears, and to offer support to new parents. Another friend of mine had her first baby at 17 and she joined a "Young Mom's" group, which she found out about through the hospital as well. (you can also try to call Planned Parenthood- to see what resources they have). This group had 10 young new moms and they met once or twice a week to offer each other support and share advice and tips. Obviously, they formed friendships outside the meetings as well, and met for play dates and such too.

 

I think if you really sit down and look at your options, you will find alot of resources available should you choose to keep your baby.

 

Adoption is an option, but there are other options too, and you need to think about what you want, what is best for your baby, and the feelings of father too.

 

I know you don't want him to have to change his life, but this is his child too, what if he wants to change his life to get more involved with you and your daughter? Have you talked to him seriously about it? Being parents means making great sacrafices at time and really pulling together. Don't discount his help if he's offering it, it's not selfish to need help raising the baby you created together.

 

((HUGS))

[MiaLeah]

I had a doctors appointment today. To tell you the truth, every other time I've had an ultrasound, I try to block it out, I try to not pay attention. Today was the first time I was actually excited to see the baby. Seeing her move and hearing the heartbeat, I decided I could never give her up. I think at this point, it would be more selfish to opt for adoption. It would only be b/c of convenience, b/c I'm not ready. I have the support. My parents would help me out money wise, but the father has more than enough money to raise a child. We talk about it all the time and he gets mad whenever I say I'm not sure what I want to do. I don't blame him, b/c I disregard his thoughts half the time. The thing is, I know that he wants to be involved and that he'll do whatever it takes to be involved. I guess I'm trying to push him away, but I have no clue why.

[melrich]

I decided I could never give her up. I think at this point, it would be more selfish to opt for adoption.

 

I am really glad you feel like this.

 

I am going to be the first one to tell you that it is not going to be a walk in the park. Having a baby is hardwork whether you are 17 or 30.

 

But you sound like a really loving person and your bond with your baby will be so strong. I am not a huge advocate of having kids too young but one huge advantage is that you will be a contemporary mom and your relationship with your child should be so close. You will be best friends for most of the rest of your life.

 

I don't know why you are trying to push Dad away either. maybe because you feel like this situation is a burden for him? It doesn't sound to me like that is the way he is thinking.

 

Whatever, the whole idea of having a baby takes time to get used to. The further into the pregnancy you go the more you will bond and the more you will feel like this is a gift to you both rather than something that has to be endured.

[MiaLeah]

I think that's exactly why I'm pushing him away; b/c I feel like it's a burden for him. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I just don't want him doing something just b/c it's the right thing to do. I'm sure he wants to be involved, but I'm just insecure about that type of thing. It's just something I have to deal with and work out.

 

It's just a relief to know for sure what I really want to do. At this point, it doesn't matter to me if my parents disagree, I'll be 18 by the time I have the baby anyway. It doesn't matter if people tell me how it will ruin my life, like nearly every person I know has told me. None of that really matters anymore.

 

Thanks for your imput and advice, it really helped.

[Hope75]

Hopefully you can talk to your parents soon and let them know what you've decided. That way, you are all on the same page and you can start preparing for having a little one in the house!

 

About Dad, you might consider that he loves this baby and wants to be in her life, and you two made the baby together, so the "burden" or raising her falls on you both, and it's great that he wants to be involved and to help out.

 

Your baby deserves the best life you and your bf can give her, so don't be afraid to take the support offered by her father, trust me, as Melrich said, you are going to need it!

[MiaLeah]

I told my parents today. They already knew that I wanted to keep the baby. I had a breakdown a few weeks ago about it b/c I couldn't take the pressure of everyone telling me what I should do, and I couldn't really think for myself. After that, they pretty much decided to let me make up my mind when I was ready. Surprisingly, they're were pretty supportive of my decision when I told them. They've already told me all the reasons they disagree with it months ago, so I'm not sure if they really accept it, or are just being nice about it to not cause any more conflict.

 

I know my bf wants to be involved and I want him to be involved. Now it's the decision over whether I go to school where I want and he sacrifices, or I sacrifice and stay here. I think I was just being selfish, thinking if he wasn't in the picture then the decision was only about me. I know I can't do this alone. I really need him and I love him a lot, so I guess I just saw myself as hurting him. He told me today that it would only hurt him if I disregarded him and shut him out.

[Hope75]

He sounds like a good guy, you are lucky.

 

What does he want you to do? Does he want you to go to school where you want? Or does he want you to stay here?

 

I think the next step is some in depth discussion over where you are going to go to school and where your boyfriend is going to work.

 

Do you plan to live with your parents if you stay here, or will you live with your boyfriend?

[Young1]

Yeah i agree with everything everyone has said about your situation MIALEAH

I'm sorry i havent posted sooner but i'm really not feeling good to day... Not at all. Vallery went to the doctor today and she is having a boy they think... but you never know it could change it could be a hand or something... But anyway like i said im not feeling so good so i'm going to go on to bed here... Talk later Bye!

Allyson L.

[MiaLeah]

He says he is willing to move, but he rather stay here. I don't blame him. It's probably what I'll end up doing b/c admittedly, it'll just be easier that way I think.

 

I won't live with my parents if I stay here. I'll live with them until right before school starts, then move in with my bf. It'll be better for everyone that way.

 

Young1, I hope you feel better. I felt so sick for the first 1 and a half months of my pregnancy. I missed a lot of school b/c of it, but I hadn't told anyone, so everyone thought I was lying about being sick. Did you say earlier that you know what you're having?

[MI_Shell]

I truly admire you. Congratulations on taking such a mature approach to this situation. The fact that you feel such happiness for your baby is wonderful, and I am sure you will make a wonderful mother. I have known of people to have a baby at your age and have raised beautiful children, yes it can be hard work but it will be worth it and yes you are truly blessed.

[sweeter]

I think that you both can be as good of mothers as you want to be. I had my first child when I was 19 and had my second child when I was 21. I have a great job..I bought my house when I was 23. Now that my children are a little older I have more time to do what I want like go to college and take dance classes. My kids are 10 and 7 now and they are great. I do not regret having them as young as I did. It was never easy but it was always worth it. Sometimes people ask me if I regret having them as young as I did because I didn't get to "live" my life. I think I did live my life and I had some great company.

[Young1]

Yeah Mialeah I did post earlier that I was having a LITTLE GIRL... Vallery is having a boy... She is due before me In Early May like May 9th i think.... I'm still not feeling really well... I'm going to go to the doctor if I dont get feeling better... SHe's been kicking alot lately not hard really but you can feel her move more than kick... When are you due MIALEAH? please keep me updated... i will do the same... Also the other day when I went to the doctor he said that if the baby was still breech when I get close to my due date I'm going to have to have a C- section... It 's sorta scary alittle... But my cousin this month is having a c-section and with her other daughter she did too but she said it was no big deal. But anyway i'll talk to yall later! Bye!

allyson L.

[MiaLeah]

Young1,

I was feeling a little sick when my baby first started to move around a lot. That might be what's making you feel sick. Also, you can have morning sickness, which can actually last throughout the day, throughout your entire pregnancy.

I'm having a girl and am due May 17, but my doctor doesn't think I'll actually make it that long.

[Young1]

I talked to my doctor on the phone to day and said its probably because she is moving so much... I've been over morning sickness for a little while. I am feeling a little better today though. I did ask him about high risk pregnancy and he said i was under that so if i still wasnt feeling well i need to go the ER if it gets worse. But he also said since i'm so young i'll probably have a more difficult pregnancy than some. He said he doubted I make it to the end of May too. So we'll see how it goes.

OH yeah i just found out that my parents for there anniversary are going on a cruise to Puerto Rico, and the virgin Islands. I think it should be fun as long as I dont have my baby while they're gone because their anniversary is On the 17th of May and althougn my due date isnt til the 29th I still could go early but i told them dont worry about it go on and have fun. So i think my mom bought the tickets last night over the internet.

My nephew that is 2 last night stayed with us and he just wanted me to play with him.. THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS AWAKE! which was for like 6 hours he didnt want anyone else but me! I wasnt feeling good but my mom was trying to get some work done so I had no choice. It would have been easier if I wasnt pregnant. This morning he poked my stomach and kissed it saying baby baby baby. (he knows about babies are in mommy's stomach because he has a 3 month old little sister.) I said yeah its a baby!

I love kids and I'm glad that my little girl is going to have two cousins close to her age. Actually more than that but dont have time to write it all.

But anyway just pm me MIALEAH if you want to talk more!

ALlyson L.

[ShySoul]

[This morning he poked my stomach and kissed it saying baby baby baby. (he knows about babies are in mommy's stomach because he has a 3 month old little sister.) I said yeah its a baby!

I love kids and I'm glad that my little girl is going to have two cousins close to her age. /QUOTE]

 

LOL. Kids are so cute. They bring so much joy to those they are around. All the hard work is worth it.

 

Glad things are going good for you.

[Young1]

Hi all I'm back feeling better now... I've been thinking of names for my baby girl... Please Rate these 10 being Great- 1 hate it

Zoey Nichole:

Olivia Reese:

Isabelle Grace:

Hannah Grace:

I just like some of these i have more and plenty of time to choose one!

Later!

[Hope75]

Oooh, Toss the Zoey one out the window... the rest are great!

 

 

Glad you are feeling better.

[ShySoul]

Last name can affect the way the name sounds and flows, though I understand not wanting to include it. I like the last two, and I've got a soft spot in my heart for the name Hannah right now (baby neice is named Hannah).

[Young1]

Well my cousin who had her baby today named her new daughter Madeline Grace so the grace is out. But I really Like Hannah but i have to find a different last name. i'm feeling wonderful and this little girl is about to kill me kicking so much she is making me have to go to the bathroom every 10 min (figure of speach) but this is only the start. She is a sweet thing i can tell even before she is born. I'm getting really!!!! excited ..... I'll get to see her again in a week from this Thursaday. but anyway post abck thanks!

Allyson L.

[ShySoul]

this little girl is about to kill me kicking so much she is making me have to go to the bathroom every 10 min (figure of speach) but this is only the start

 

One of the few advantages to being male. I can't imagine what being pregnant and going through labor is like. My respect for women shoots up if they go through that experience.

 

Anyways, thank you for the update. Great that everything is going well and you are so excitied. Tell Hannah, or whatever you decide to name her, hi for me.

[MUST_LOVE_DOGS24]

Hi Young1,

Congrats.... Hannah is a very pretty name. I havent read all your post but when are you due? I'm Going to find out hopefully on the 2nd of February.

I'm feeling like you to today. This kid is kicking or something but it's making me have the hiccups alot and have to go to the bathroom too. Jeremiah (the babies dad) hasnt returned any of my calls for the past 3-4 days and I'm getting worried. I hope he'll call me soon. But anyway ....

Congrats again young1.

Erica

[Ians Mommy]

Wow, you deserve a lot of credit. I'm only 16, so I know what high school is like. I got pregnant last winter and miscarried at 13 weeks when I was 15. I was so scared about the whole thing and telling the father and I just couldn't do it. I finally got the courage to tell him the next time I saw him but I ended up having the miscarriage that morning so I never even got a chance to tell him. He didn't find out until a few months afterwards..

 

Seriously, I really respect what you're doing and I am so glad your mom is staying by your side. My mom would have killed me if she knew.

 

IM me sometime, I'd like to keep updated on the baby's progress and how you're feeling. my AIM screen name is danisauur.

[millaj]

WHen I was a teenager I wanted to be pregnant so bad and if I would have been, I would have been very happy. Now that i'm 26 and I look back on that, it's better that I waited. I don't see how that could have worked out my life would be so different than it is now. But I love children so much and babies, so im sure everything would have been ok. Everything happens for a reason, and there's a reason why I never got pregnant.

[Hope75]

Hi Young1,

Congrats.... Hannah is a very pretty name. I havent read all your post but when are you due? I'm Going to find out hopefully on the 2nd of February.

I'm feeling like you to today. This kid is kicking or something but it's making me have the hiccups alot and have to go to the bathroom too. Jeremiah (the babies dad) hasnt returned any of my calls for the past 3-4 days and I'm getting worried. I hope he'll call me soon. But anyway ....

Congrats again young1.

Erica

 

Hi Erica,

 

Any word from Jeremiah?

 

I'm concerned that he's not returning your calls. How has he been with the pregnancy? Do his parents know now?