danoooosh Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 I was on vacation for a year in my b/f's country when we met and fell in love. I had to return home to my country and had to leave him because of family and college issues...Leaving him was one of the hardest things of my life...I still remember being in the airport with him and knowing in a few minutes I would be leaving the person I love most in the world and not knowing when I would be seeing him next...it was so hard and the plane trip alone was hell... Before I left we discussed how we were gona get together by him migrating to my country with a fiance visa or something of the sort.... Now we dont know whats happening ....we are trying to organise the visa which is quite a long process and I've started to get very depressed. Despite the fact that I know we will eventually be together....no more then 6 months from now..I'm finding it very hard to cope. When I talk to him he is always trying to stay positive and in a way the fact he is so positive really hurts me like he doesn't care as much as me... However when he started getting very upset one time because I was crying and he knew how much I was hurting to be away from him he started crying and that made it much worse for me knowing I made him upset.... How do I cope? I dont have much support from family and friends who think its a waste of time for me to be in this relationship because it makes me so sad and that I should just try and find someone who lives near me instead of someone so far... I love him so much but sometimes I feel like the relationship is making me more upset then happy...the only thing that gets me through is the thought of how happy I will be when I see him again...but that thought eventually fades away and I get depressed again. If only I had a date when I could see him again and I knew 100% that he was coming everything would be different. Even though he reassures me all the time he is coming and stuff and I know he will....the fact we dont have a date just makes me feel like its not real. Like the relationship is dead... HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOOO HOW TO GET OVER BEING SO DEPRESSED...I have tried to go out and be with friends but they dont help because they are always with their b/f's and I am left feeling helpless and lonely. Link to comment
Jayman Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Hi , sorry to hear that your going through this , Its very hard to be away from someone that you care so deeply for , I know I have been there , and I'm there again ... So let me get this right you met this guy and spent a year with him and now your apart , you have come to love him and trust him , and he Is very caring and responsible ....Are you worried that the Visa is taking to long , maybe you should contact the embassy In his country that processes the visa and talk with them , I think they have councilors and can give you a better understanding , In the meantime why dont you try and see If you can go see him , find a flight after Christmas , maybe you can visit with him again or have him come see you before the Visa gets processed , be patient , find some Interest In something that can distract you ( maybe something you both can do together ) like a similar Interest and email him .... Sorry , I know how life can be cruel In affairs of the heart , love can make you wonder a lonely road sometimes , look at the bigger picture , you have waited a long time to find this man , so whats a little longer .... Link to comment
danoooosh Posted December 21, 2005 Author Share Posted December 21, 2005 thanx so much for replying, and your right...a little longer will not kill me physically....but emotionally and mentally i feel like a reck. basically the thing is that getting a visa for him in his country is very hard they dont help at all they just say apply for the visa and thats it they dont actually help you and tell you if its realistic for him to get one. we are applying for the fiance visa but it will take so long to get one and of course we have considered a visitor visa until the fiance visa is granted(which is legal) but the immigration in his country dont want him to come to my country with a visitor visa with the intention of changing it and migrating. they obviously want him to apply for the visa he wants while he is in his country so that it makes it easier for them to organise it and process it. If he is travelling within countries it makes it harder for them....(not much harder ..but they are immigration they dont want anything to be harder ...they dont care about specific circumstances) and i wish i could find a flight to see him but he lives 24 hours (by plane) away and its over $2000 so I cant just jump on a plane whenever I want.... Link to comment
Jayman Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Hi again , It Is hard I know when It comes to visa's and circumstances surrounding them and It seems very costly just to visit each other , but like I said maybe until the Visa goes through , In the meantime you could maybe send him a gift and talk with his family , or share some memories by phone , try and keep the memories alive when you talk , but when your not talking find Interests that make you who you are as an individual , and keep him Informed of the life you have on your own..... We all have to keep our lives outside our relationship alive and cherish the life we have .... Thats what makes us who we are and the reason that we are respected and cared for In the first place ... Be strong and be hopeful ..... This will work out and you will be happy In the end .... I have a good feeling about this Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now