Lonely and fed up!

[skyblue1]

I'm 25 and i've been single for 3 and a half years now. I'm finding it very hard to meet men who are genuine and who are looking for a bit more to offer a lady instead of wanting sex and nothing more. I've tried loads of things like internet dating, been speed dating once, joined the gym and still no luck. I don't have problems in attracting men, but seems like they only want one thing. Just gets me Any suggestions???

[SimonBlume]

Ultimately, men (and women) date because they want sex. This is human nature and what's wrong with that? Love is just an instinct developed over billions of years for the human race to enjoy sex more.

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OK, being that said, I agree with you that love is important and men who only want sex suck.

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Don't worry for being single. I'm 27 and I have been single till now and never had a boy-friend. And, frankly, I'm still a virgin. Can you believe that? Life seems so miserable sometimes to me, and so I fully understand how you feel. However, we need to be rational. If you always waste your time whining for true love, you might have it in the end, but that would be the only thing you have by that time. Is that what you want?

[skyblue1]

Sorry to hear you've been single all this time simonBlume i hope you find someone very soon. Just want someone to respect me and not sleep with other woman when sleeping with me. I want to be happy with life too and find a nice man. So what shall i do? Shall i just have fun with men or?

[the yang to the worlds yin]

if you want more, then don't settle for less. if everyone always did that, then einstein would have perhaps never advanced the theory of quanta, or neuton would have never cared to think further into the apple falling. ( tru these are over the top examples. but my point does still stand)

 

to be honest, i know it's hard to find someone thats looking for something other than a way to be pleasured. but isn't the wait worth it if you do indeed find that person? keep that chin up hun and don't worry, life and love always throw you in the direction you never thought of

[SimonBlume]

Thanks skyblue but I do not feel sorry for myself. : ) And since I'm so absorbed in my own work I do not want to find someone soon either, frankly. To me, the meaning of life is to do what my intelligence allows me to do, to become a new Einstein, for example. : D Not everyone becomes Einstein but if I have tried hard I won't regret in the future. : ) I do believe (not just hope) that you'll soon find someone who's not just wanting sex from you. : ) Actually there're tons of such serious men out there, the problem is sometimes they have other problems that you cannot stand. Being not good-looking or not smart enough, for example. : )

[skyblue1]

i guess i'm still young. Sure it's worth waiting for the right man to come along indeed. Thanks guys!! still would be nice to meet Mr right if there is such thing.

[ShySoul]

skyblue1, I have been single my entire life. It can get lonely and depressing. I can't seem to find a women who wants the real love I want. And women are generally better then men when it comes to that stuff. But I know that it will happen one day when it is right. Until that day, life has so much more to offer. Life it to the fullest. Love find us when we aren't looking. So don't look.

[volution]

I have had trouble finding a woman that want a soft, gentle man who would give all his heart forever and eternity, wants to have children, wants to get married, wants to change the world as an equal, wants to learn, teach, grow, heal, help, laugh, cry, run, walk, scream, tickle, touch, muse together ....

 

Perhaps I should have been born a woman????

 

BTW love your sig ShySoul...

Why is it that all the good women get taken by filthy, abusive men?

No matter what happens afterward, they are almost too damaged to believe someone as gentle as ourselves could exist, that we are not real, that we'd abandon them because that is what they have come to expect from all the bad experiences they have had with the bad men.....

[skyblue1]

Hopefully the day will come very soon. Sick and tired waiting around.

 

I know what you mean about nice girls getting treated like SH**!

 

We will all find that special person 1 day.

Shysoul - your right 100% agreed. Love comes when your not looking.

[ShySoul]

Volution, thanks for the compliment on the sig. Its my new credo.

 

And if you were born a women, you would be missing out on the warm touch of a womens hands. Unless you were a lesbian, but now we're getting into areas I don't think we should talk about.

 

Not all women end up with bad men and get hurt. And for those that do, its hard on us good guys who want nothing more to help them and love them. But look at the good. When a women is finally able to open up to a good guy, after all the hurt she has felt, it will be a beautiful thing. A flower in full blossom, opening her heart up to the world again. The joy she will feel will be incredible, the smile on her face lighting up the room. And she'll be sharing it with you. You'll get to do the right thing in helping someone out. You'll get to right the wrong other guys have done. And you will be rewarded with her love and devotion, something that is intense and will blow you away.

 

skyblue1, patience is a virtue and the best thing comes to those who wait. When it happens, you won't be thinking about the years of waiting, you'll be thinking about the beauty of what you have now. And those years can teach you to appreciate it more.

[piegirl]

Love will find you when the time is right.

I married very young and ended up divorced. Thought that I never wanted to have a realtionship again. Thought that love was just a myth something that would never happen to me.

 

I am now involved with a man that is the sweetest, most wonderful person for me. Love found me I was not out looking and neither was he. Enjoy your life and eventually everything will fall into place.

[ShySoul]

piegirl,

 

Nice story. I'm happy for you that everything has worked out. Enjoy the love you have found.

[skyblue1]

Thanks for your input! I'm happy for you piegirl. You go girl!!!!!!! Will try and be a little patient.

[freeben321]

Keep looking for something meaningful. Not all men just want sex. If you keep looking for something that is meaningful, that'll keep me believing that there are women out there that care about more as well.

[skyblue1]

Guess i've had alot of bad luck with men. All the the men i've been dating seem to make arrangements to me and then i never hear from them. I hate it! I would never do that to people. I would tell them where they stand. What is that all about?

[ShySoul]

Some guys just aren't together or ready for something serious. Some still think you have to play games and that will impress women more. Others are scared of committing or finding something real. There are far to many guys out there like that. It's frustrating and unfair. But there are good guys out there who will keep their word. They will treat you right. And after seeing all the jerks out there, you'll probably appreciate that good guy more. All the bad ones are lights pointing your way to a good one with whom you will be happy with.

[skyblue1]

Thanks ShySoul. Sick and tired of meeting dishonest men.

[scheat]

I would give you some advice, but I am 35 and still single. So I envy you at 25. There is nothing wrong with being alone. Once you figure out the difference between being alone and lonely someone will come along.

[ariyadhana]

I have also been single for 3.5 years. Even before then I only had one casual, long distance relationship. I've gone on a few dates but so far haven't met anyone I have a mutual interest in. I figure it's got to happen soon though, and it will for the rest of you who are waiting too. All men want sex, but that's not the only thing men want. I know men who are greatly interested in romance and a partner to share life with. I think the best way to go is to try and find activities that interest you, where you can meet new people while doing them. This way you are keeping yourself busy and expanding your social circle to include more people who share your passions.

 

It does suck sometimes though. I get pretty lonely and wish I had someone to share in my life with me and give my love to.. I feel like I've been waiting forever

[skyblue1]

Sorry to hear that Scheat, i hope you find someone nice very soon.

[skyblue1]

Being single for 3.5 years does feel like forever. The thing that kills it is that my friends don't go out much and that means i stay home and do nothing. It's being single and friends not bothering with me that gets me upset. None of my friends understand. I need to meet new people and go on more dates. i think i will take ariyahana's advice. Thank u -- if you guys have any other suggestions would be greatfull.

[ariyadhana]

Ok, now here's a question.. Do you ever worry that when you do find someone you will be, umm, shall we say lacking in sexual technique? I didn't have boyfriends in high school or anything, so I'm not very experienced. I worry that if I find someone I like and start dating them, I just won't measure up as far as kissing and other things go.. I actually had this problem this summer when I was dating a guy for about a month and when we first made out he told me that I hide my lips when I kiss.. Whatever that means. I just don't want to disappoint my partner when I do find them ](*,)

[skyblue1]

You wont honey just go with the flow. I don't really lack in that department, but i still get shy showing my body. You will be okay it will all come naturally. God i'm so fed up being at home wonna go out!!!

[ShySoul]

ariyadhana - Relax. You won't be lacking. Kissing and that stuff comes naturally. And if two people care about each other, it will be great. I had no experience in high school either or afterward, nothing until this year. And I did just fine. Technique isn't as important as enthusiasm and feeling. Some people can have lots of experience, but it isn't as good because they don't put all they have into it. I think the key is to relax and just lose yourself in the moment.

 

scheat - Sorry to hear that as well. Don't give up. Someone is out there for you.

 

skyblue1 - If your friends don't understand, then go out on your own and do what you feel is best for you. Good luck.

[skyblue1]

Thanks shysoul. Maybe i'll go to a singles event.