It's a new year, time to make a change

[ocrob]

Hi all,

 

I have realized from reading posts on all of the forums that most of us are either unhappy with our lives, unfulfilled, or just depressed. I am not into New Year's resolutions, but do want to improve my situation. I have realized that eithe venting or helping other people makes me happy. I have come to a conclusion about myself and it might apply to others.

 

I am currently bored with my life. I am not challenged or motivated and I crave something? It seems that most people that have just become single have lost a huge part of their lives. It seems our lives consisted mostly of our relationships and work. I am completely bored at work and the day goes by so slow. I feel like someone in prison counting the minutes. Now that my ex is gone, my weekends are so boring and I have nothing to do. I stayed home sick the other day and it was the longest most boring day ever. I actually wanted to go to work because I was so bored.

 

I have always tried to be a problem solver and now I am going to offer my 2 cents. I have decided that I am completely unfulfilled at work. My year review is coming up and my boss asked me to write down my goals etc. Earlier I sat down and wrote everthing that I aspire to do. It was very positive and shows ambition and loyalty to the company. I have decided that I can no longer just show up for a paycheck. I need to be challenged, motivated, and want to go to work.

 

I have given the same thought about my life. I need something that will challenge me and make me get up in the morning. It was so easy when I was young because I would get up and surf or do something else fun. I have decided that I need a hobby or something that challenges me. I have not made a New year's resolution, but I know what I want. Although I am very responsible, my only source of fun or my hobby has been drinking. I thought I might be an alcholic, but realized I do this out of boredom. I have decided to start taking up activities that challenge me.

 

Most of us are so sad about our break up because our lives have been taken away. Well, it is time for us to get new lives. We all love our ex's, but what if you meet an amazing woman or man tomorrow? It is that void that we are looking to get over. I have decided to stop drinking or at least mellow out. I am going to start reading for the first time in my life. I am considering writing a script or doing something. I can't speak for you all, but I am bored and not challenged. I need to find something that drives me and consumes me. It may end up being another woman, but it also has to be something else. I am dediating myself to improving my work condition, reading, and possibly writing.

 

As I wrote this, my words did not exactly correspond with my original thoughts. I guess my message is that there is hope. Yes, there are lazy people out there, but we all need to be driven and motivated for something. My goal for 2006 is to find that something. I am sick of being bord and depressed and just can't accept it anymore. Sure we have no control over our sadness, but we can do things to make life better. Just as we can eat more healthy and work out. If you are sick of feeling sick, then you too can do something about it. Just a stupid example, but if you eat McDonalds everyday and are sick of feeling sluggish and being overweight, then you can do something about it. Eat a sensible diet and exercise. I am basically saying it is time to stop thinking about the ex or the crap that we are dealing with and do something about it.

 

This turned out to be really long and boring and I apologize. I think I did this for myself and that is why I love this forum. If I told my friends, then they would just say I am full of crap and not going to do anything. I say let's make 2006 a better year! Oh, and I have a really great date tomorrow. lol

 

ocrob

[teacup]

this was the best post i have read in a long time.

 

and you know something? a lot of times i just ENJOY being miserable and bored and undriven. i like it. it's a familiar comfortable feeling because if i was really that unhappy i would do something about it.

 

let's just say misery can make a lot of ppl happy too. me for one. cept im pretty happy today.

 

look at the drama i start on purpose. look at the junk i put in my own life when i have a pretty great life. look at what i put on myself when im a great person. crazy huh?

[capricornprncess]

i agree with you ocrob, you just gave me an idea for the new year, i'm gonna set up a goal as well, backpack to europe,i've always wanted to do it but never had the guts to go by myself, and this year has been so hard for me bec. of my ex,and how things ended that i want to start fresh, ill be getting my bachelors next year and i'm psyched about that,i think its time to get up the couch and do something bec. life is too short to dwell on something that passed. kudos to you ocrob, you just inspired me to set europe as a foreseeable goal. thanks.

 

 

[patience]

ocrob,

 

Have you considered taking a creative writing class? Or any other night class?

 

You would meet new people, more like-minded people capable of expressing their thoughts and feelings (bonus!) and you would be doing something that you enjoy.

 

If you cannot afford to pay for a course at a college/university, it is much cheaper if you 'audit' the course. I don't know if that would be of interest to you, but I get the feeling you would enjoy it!

 

...and goodness man, stop apologizing for expressing yourself! You have things to say, say them!

[ocrob]

Capricornprncess, I travelled Europe for three months by myself and loved it. I met so many amazing people and had a great time. I must admit, it got a little bit too long and was ready to go home. : ) Thanks Patience! As always, you say the greatest things. Unfortunately, I really don't like school and I really don't like reading. I am just going to take it slow and try to read as much as possible. I am one of those people that absorbs by listening or doing. I seem to be an ease dropper, but don't do it intentionally. I just listen to everything. I am currently reading a great book and my goal is to read at least 25 pages every night before I go to bed. It is hard for me to concentrate, but it might help my insomnia.

 

Thanks!

[lonelyfish]

Ocrob - that really hit close to home. I am so bored at work though I have a great job so people tell me. It's just not me, there's no creativity, very little human contact and I have lost all motivation. Also I have been wanting to move to a new city for so long - I want to start anew someplace else to try to change a bit of my persona and be the person I'm really meant to be in life. Thanks for your post, I'm glad there's other people that feel the same way as me.

[Relationship Coach]

ocorb,

 

Great Post! Here is something from my site I've posted for those looking to make changes:

 

The History of New Year's Resolutions

 

The tradition of the New Year's Resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C. Janus, a mythical king

of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar.

 

With two faces, Janus could look back on past events and forward to the future. Janus became the

ancient symbol for resolutions and many Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies and

also exchanged gifts before the beginning of each year.

 

The New Year has not always begun on January 1, and it doesn't begin on that date everywhere

today. It begins on that date only for cultures that use a 365-day solar calendar. January 1 became the

beginning of the New Year in 46 B.C., when Julius Caesar developed a calendar that would more

accurately reflect the seasons than previous calendars had.

 

The Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, the god of beginnings and the guardian of

doors and entrances. He was always depicted with two faces, one on the front of his head and one

on the back. Thus he could look backward and forward at the same time. At midnight on December

31, the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new. The Romans

began a tradition of exchanging gifts on New Year's Eve by giving one another branches from sacred

trees for good fortune. Later, nuts or coins imprinted with the god Janus became more common New

Year's gifts.

 

In the Middle Ages, Christians changed New Year's Day to December 25, the birth of Jesus. Then

they changed it to March 25, a holiday called the Annunciation. In the sixteenth century, Pope Gregory

XIII revised the Julian calendar, and the celebration of the New Year was returned to January 1.

 

The Julian and Gregorian calendars are solar calendars. Some cultures have lunar calendars,

however. A year in a lunar calendar is less than 365 days because the months are based on the

phases of the moon. The Chinese use a lunar calendar. Their new year begins at the time of the first

full moon (over the Far East) after the sun enters Aquarius- sometime between January 19 and

February 21.

 

Although the date for New Year's Day is not the same in every culture, it is always a time for

celebration and for customs to ensure good luck in the coming year.

 

 

 

Top 10 Most Common New Year Resolutions

 

1. Lose weight

 

2. Stop smoking

 

3. Stick to a budget

 

4. Save or earn more money

 

5. Find a better job

 

6. Become more organized

 

7. Exercise more

 

8. Be more patient at work/with others

 

9. Eat better

 

10. Become a better person

 

Tips for Making Good New Year's Resolutions

 

 

There is a right way and a wrong way to make a New Year's resolution. Here are a few expert tips to

see that your resolution actually makes a difference:

 

1. Create a Plan

 

Setting a goal without formulating a plan is merely wishful thinking. In order for your resolution to have

resolve, (as the word "resolution" implies), it must translate into clear steps that can be put into

action. A good plan will tell you A) What to do next and B) What are all of the steps required to

complete the goal.

 

2. Create Your Plan IMMEDIATELY

 

If you're like most people, then you'll have a limited window of opportunity during the first few days of

January to harness your motivation. After that, most people forget their resolutions completely.

It is imperative that you begin creating your plan immediately.

 

3. Write Down Your Resolution and Plan

It's not a goal unless it has been written down and shared with someone who can hold you

accountable to it!

 

4. Think "Year Round," Not Just New Year's

 

Nothing big gets accomplished in one day. Resolutions are set in one day, but accomplished with a

hundred tiny steps that happen throughout the year. New Year's resolutions should be nothing more

than a starting point. You must develop a ritual or habit for revisiting your plan which helps you stick to

your plan.

 

5. Remain Flexible

 

Expect that your plan can and will change. Life has a funny way of throwing unexpected things at us,

and flexibility is required to complete anything but the simplest goal. Sometimes the goal itself will

even change. Most of all, recognize partial successes at every step along the way. Just as a

resolution isn't accomplished the day it's stated, neither is it accomplished the day you reach your

goal. Rather, it's accomplished in many small increments along the way. Acknowledge these

incremental successes as they come.

 

Live Like You Were Dying

By David Vanlandingham

 

Tim McGraw "sang" it best and it certainly is a topic that can open minds

and doors at the same time. Part of what holds us back from doing the

things we really want in life is our own misunderstanding of time. By putting

time in to terms that set a countdown clock in motion, decisions get made

quickly, priorities become crystal clear and every day becomes what I call a

"Life Event". Through a series of exercises which requires

intensive self evaluation my clients often describe the results as a "near

death" experience. Their perspective on their own mortality changes as

well as those close to them. They become more focused and accomplish

goals faster and achieve more out of their lives than ever imaginable.