Not sure of his intentions

[HeckaBekah]

There's this guy I'm interested in whom I've known for about a month and a half now. Things are going slowly, which is good but now I'm wondering if things are going to progress.

 

He intiated the phone calls, and we talked once every couple to three days over the phone. He asked me out on a date and that went well and since then I've hung out a his apartment twice. The last time was on Saturday when we kissed for the first time (he tried to kiss me when we first met but I backed off b/c I didn't know him). I think the chemistry was great, however I haven't talked to him since Saturday night.

 

These last couple of weeks I've intiated two to three phone calls since one time I hadn't heard from him in a few days. He says that I can call him whenever which I think means call him! So I wanted to show him I'm interested by calling him first sometimes.

 

Since I've last seen him I'm not sure what to do next. Maybe I'm worrying over nothing but at the same time I'm the kind of girl who kisses guys I plan on spending more time with and he knows I'm a good girl. I'm not sure what he's thinking. I don't want to make things serious by talking about "us", which there isn't an "us"! But I also know that in order to get to know anyone better, there needs to be a progression in the friendship.

 

So I really don't know him too well and I want to get to know him better. I just don't think I should call. I think eventually he will call, but I don't want to wait if this isn't going anywhere. Again, maybe I'm stressing over nothing. After all it was just this Saturday that we hung out and kissed. Another thing that worries me is that over three months ago he got out of a 4 year relationship so of course he doesn't want anything serious! Neither do I! I just want to get to know him better and I'm not sure if he wants to respond positively to that. Please help me out!

 

Rebekah

[Venturer]

I think its fine. Maybe he just doesn't want to rush things.

[Relationship Coach]

HB,

Don't jump the gun too early here, everything is probably OK. He may also be dealing with some issues or feelings being that the ex isn't too far gone from his side. Maybe you stireed some feelings and he's adjusting to them in his own way. Keep an open mind and go slow.

[Lion-Guy]

Rebekah you are doing everything right from my perspective.

 

If he says call him sometime, than call him. Don't always make him be the one to call. And you did just the right thing by calling first sometimes. That shows him that you are interested. And the kiss shows that you are both interested in each other.

 

There is a girl I am interested in and we have gone on a few dates. But, she only returns my calls and won't call her self. I don't like that.

 

Wait for him to get off his butt and call you. Don't call him anymore. Keep doing what you are doing, be patient and you will be fine.

 

Good luck. (I wish there were more direct girls like you out there)

[HeckaBekah]

Thanks. He still hasn't called. I'm still confused because some of my friends are wondering why he hasn't and one said that that has never happened to her before and that she thinks he's either shy or a player (and I'm pretty sure he's passed the shy part since we've already hung out and kissed). I really don't know if I should listen because other friends say that sometimes it takes awhile for someone to really open up and that I shouldn't worry about it. I think that maybe he feels comfortable around me but just isn't in a hurry to get to know me better, which isn't bad. I just don't know him enough to see if he's just messing around or is genuinely interested in getting to know me.

 

Well I don't want to worry about it, but this unsure feeling that I have really scares me. I just don't want to talk about it anymore because I'm sick of worrying. I'd rather have an answer now to keep my sanity lol. The guys I've dated in the past really pursued me, but I think about how bad things ended because they were so eager to pour their heart and equally as eager to go along with their emotions when the feelings had changed towards me. For once I want something more stable. It kills me to think about how quickly my exs threw me out of their lives. I don't know how to look for something more stable without waiting for something that might not happen. What do you all think about the situation?

[HeckaBekah]

I was thinking about texting him today. Then I thought to myself 'No! He already knows I'm interested so I can't do it!! I did what I could.' I checked me phone and noticed that he left a message asking how my day is going.

 

I just need to let time pass without worrying and just have fun while I'm young! Though I tend to listen too much to what my friends say, I've noticed that I just need to believe in myself! Dating can be scary, but I'm learning that my main priorities are to take care of myself and enjoy the time spent with friends and family. I know it'll take awhile until I stop worrying, but I think the best thing for me to do is not to talk about dating so much! That way my mind won't be so focused on the subject as much as it is enjoying the simple things in life!