what to say....

[ApC]

there is this girl i want to meet...thing is, i only see her in the caf..and she is sitting group of her friends. i dont know how to approach her or what to say...also...im working on the whole shyness thing. ive read everything about the whole self talk and negative beliefs and just practising talking...but yeah its pretty hard still. i understand taking small steps is important, for example saying hi first, or forcing yourself to get into more detail when answering instead of just saying yes/no. but when you lack skills in the whole social area is just feels so unnatural at first. but im getting there, so much more troublesome things out there than this.

[blueangel]

hmm... that is tough. It's really brave of you though to want to do that. If I were you though, I'd try to catch her alone. But if not, here's what I would want a guy to say to me:

 

the guy (hehe this is fun!): You know, I've thought about coming over here so many times, but you're always with your friends. (smile at her for a moment, sincerly and kindly- dont be phony or cocky, body language says a lot) So if you dont mind me asking, would you give me a chance and talk to me alone? (dont leave eyecontact)

 

Confidence is the key. Girls love mystery, someone who stands out from the crowd... they want to feel saved, they want to feel noticed and want to feel understand. WHen you look at her really look at her.

 

If she gets up and walks away with you, say "you have no idea how nervous I was to do that. My name is..." ask hers, ask about school, her interests (give some of yours- now is the time to talk casually and be the real you. dont fake it- girls see through it) what she wants to do in life, what you think about life...

 

think it over before you take the action. Plan it out (loosely though). If this girl refuses you, it's because she's scared and you've found the real reason why she hides behind her friends.

 

If she says, "sorry, no.."

think of something to say beforehand so you dont feel caught off guard. You can do it!

[Mrocza]

Highschool is tough- approaching a girl is tougher. Combined... I can only imagine.

Why don't you try a funny approach. Sure girls love mystery, but if you're nervous you're not going to want to walk up and be so blatant.

Why don't you walk up to the group of girls and sit next to them and tell them you're doing a survey...

Make it "what women want" or "what guys do wrong"...and start asking the girls at random "would you rather..."....then narrow it down to her and say something cute like "would you rather a guy get a friend to tell you he thinks your cute, or come up with some kind of scheme, say...a poll...to get your attention"...but say it in a carefree way. Making light of it for yourself makes it easier for yourself. Good luck HAVE FUN WITH IT!

[uninhibited]

Is this high school? I can't tell from the message and a lot of work places have cafeterias these days, not to mention college. Personally, I would wait until she's alone or with just a friend or two. If she is at a whole table full of girls that may be too much to deal with right off the bat. But i'm not sure of your motives. Are you a private person or do you like announcing your feelings to people who have no reason to know?

[ApC]

yeah its highschool...

[blueangel]

Life is too short to hold back

[ShySoul]

First, I know you can do it.

 

I think that both blueangel and fairie16 had nice ways of approaching her. However, the important thing is to approach in a way you are comfortable with. If you think you can pull of some interesting opening line without being nervous, go ahead and try. But there's nothing wrong with a simple, "hello, may I sit next to you." Introduce yourself. And start talking. Just make sure to do what you feel comfortable with.