How to tell if a guy is gay.

[chiguy]

you guys said you wuld run for the hills but the fact is every time after i act all crazy or what ever he doesnt run away. He still sticks by me.

 

Really?! Waiting for his friend to get out of detention and blowing you off and saying you two are only "school friends" is not sticking by you, no matter how much you try to convince me or yourself.

 

He is one of the few people that would actually still talk to me after what i did.

 

What are you speaking of, the letter? Perhaps, but I've met weird assh**** that love playing games, they feed off the attention and it's almost like they get off to the fact that people find them desirable but have no intention of reciprocating.

 

And also you have to know that K is VERY weird ...alright? Him and his group of friends make fun of EACHOTHER all the time (k is using what they are making fun of) so i REALLY doubt he will take any offence or even crap about what i said.

 

That's what all guys do dude! My friends and I rip on each other all the time, it's just what guys do! I don't see the correlation between you creeping him out by acting like a butt hurt little school girl (no offense, I've done it too, it's a gay thing...but you can choose to not act out on it) and him being ripped on by his friends, you're comparing apples and oranges.

 

And even IF his friend says anything about it ill just say what he always says "you take me too serious" .... but i dont know if anything is gonna work out and frankly i dont care. I'm happy when im with him NOW even if it is just as friends (i can live it) i can't really explain it but its just when we look into each other i can just FEEL that we are on the same page...

 

The "you take me too seriously" line won't work here, your "hurt" was genuine, he knows that, there's no hiding that, this is not equivalent to guys ripping on each other. Again "School Friends" is not equivalent to "Friends," you can convince yourself that he's a friend of yours all you want, but no friend of mine would treat me like this, and no friend of yours should either! I think you're making connections and seeing things that just aren't there, it happens when you are really into someone and they just aren't that into you, I've done it and I'm sure plenty of guys here have too.

 

Again I'm not trying to rip you down dude, I'm just telling you the gravity of the situation based on how you are describing it and based on my own personal experience.

[ceez]

ok maybe not stalker creepy but I agree with chiguy, that "schoolfriend" thing is bull.

[Derky]

i agree too, if ANYONE of my friends ever talked to me that way, that would be that last time we would talk to each other as "friends"

 

it's really sad, it seemed like this was going to work out in the beginning....pitty

[chiefoptimizer]

ramcoro, I have no idea how I could make such a typo, I meant: "Your behaviour *is* that of a stalker."

 

I agree wholeheartedly with the other posts on here. Sorry mate

[ramcoro]

i think you guys are discecting it too much but what ever...

 

 

im just really confused what ,suddenly, made everyone think hes straight? most of you used to push me to do more. I honestly dont see what has changed....

[Loopii]

YAY..an update...well to deal with his friend.....Kill him and hide his body in a river...K is yours hahahaha..no, im not jokeing...nah i am jokeing...damn...i hink i gave you an idea..anyways....i still think you should just kiss him hahaha not at school..not a good idea but at his house or at yours, if he is like * * * and screams and yells...just say " meh, im gay

[chiefoptimizer]

I'm not saying he's straight or gay, it's more that your behaviour is uber creepy dude

[chiguy]

Yeah we're not so much commenting on his sexual orientation as much as how he feels about you and it's NOW pretty clear to me that he just ain't that into you, I'm sorry. Your best option is to back off, if he comes to you then that's different, but I wouldn't try getting close to him even in that case until he acknowledges you as a "friend," and not a "school friend."

[ramcoro]

soooo wait u think i actually have a chance? or no? but u really need to stop acting like you know the kid more then me! ok! i know him the word "school friend" basically is what everyone else calls a normal friend he calls "friends" what every1 else calls best friends because according to him he has no BEST friends even though a couple of his friends would say he is their best friend.

 

 

im not yelling at you im just trying to get you to understand he is VERY weird and has a horrible wa with words AND he does small things to let you know what he thinks ... hes very complicated okay when i say something just take my word for it because it would take me hours and hours and hours to explaing WHY he does some of the things he does ...

[chiguy]

I have no clue whether you have a chance or not, all I know is when I am really into someone I want to be around them. I'm still going to tell you that a "school friend" is not equivalent to a "friend," even for him. My normal friends I hung out with in and out of school, someone I thought of as a classmate or an acquaintance I did not hang out with outside of school. I'm not saying I know him better than you, but I am saying I know people and I've had a bit more experience with interacting with them and this sounds very similar to what I experienced with a guy in college.

[ramcoro]

yea but you are not him and remember he is very anti social

[chiefoptimizer]

*hugs* I sincerely hope things go the way you wish...but if they don't, we'll be here for ya, ok? Don't expect us to agree with what you're doing, but feel free to keep us updated...

[chiguy]

yea but you are not him and remember he is very anti social

 

And neither are you. There's a possibility that you are projecting a bit and your mind has created an illusion as to who and what he is.

[Derky]

i totally agree with chiguy, i think K made it very clear that, he just thinks of u as a school friend.. (someone he only associates AT SCHOOL and wants/does nothing outside of school) and the fact that in YOUR mind..u have a crush on him.. of coarse your going to think of the best outcome for every move and word he says,

 

it does feel like his dad made a path for his life already... he sounds strict..and conservative with the whole "dont trust anyone" thing...

[Belgian girl]

Want to thank you too.

[chiguy]

[quote name=Derky totally agree with chiguy, i think K made it very clear that, he just thinks of u as a school friend.. (someone he only associates AT SCHOOL and wants/does nothing outside of school) and the fact that in YOUR mind..u have a crush on him.. of coarse your going to think of the best outcome for every move and word he says,

 

it does feel like his dad made a path for his life already... he sounds strict..and conservative with the whole "dont trust anyone" thing...[/quote]

 

Eh I wouldn't blame his dad though with regard to trusting people. I think people should be careful as to whom they trust, it's sound advice if you ask me, there's a lot of ***holes out there.

[Derky]

its high school...not the real world.. im pretty sure his dad's strict and conservative if he's telling his son not to trust ANYONE in highschool... thats pretty hardcore.. i mean, saying "becareful who u make friends with" creates a totally diff image than "dont trust anyone" especially when its only in Highschool... its common sense who to trust and who not to trust but the fact that his dad is making it a huge point is whats dramatic about it.

[chiguy]

I'm conservative and frankly I don't think his dad's advice is all that bad. I don't think this K is so shut off and anti-social that he won't talk to anyone as it appears that he has friends that he hangs out with regularly. So he obviously has found enough to trust in them. I think the line about him being careful not to trust ramcoro is a bit of a BS, just as his line about being "school friends." I still don't quite understand why people like K "flirt" (pun intended) with the idea of being friendly but not friends with people like ramcoro, all I can do is recognize that such a dynamic exists.

[chiguy]

Ramcoro... do what you want man, but realize that some problems have no solutions, especially when the solution you seek is getting someone else to have feelings for you. As for him being gay, it's inconclusive, perhaps somewhere on a level of bi, but again we are judging this through the filter of your mind so since you want him to be gay, your observations might be a bit skewed in your favor.

[I_Speak_Jive]

I realise you are 15 years old, but still...

 

Okay really you need leave me alone and shut up! .

 

Nobody is banging at your front door screaming "you're screwing this up!". You post in a forum thread, people respond to it. If you want people to not respond to you, maybe don't post?

 

 

i just want to hear your opinion on whether you think he is gay or not!

 

He isn't. And even if he is, he is not at all into you. That seems to be the consensus around here, but then again, as you have stated several times, you know him and we don't.

 

 

If i say he is anti-social then take my freaking word for it!

 

Ok fine, he's anti-social! He's very anti-social. Not that anyone was disagreeing with that, and not that it has anything to do with the issue at hand, but he's totally and utterly anti-social and that's that.

 

you can tell me WHAT to do and HOW to do it in order to become friends

 

We have, but here is a recap:

 

- Don't talk trash about him behind his back.

 

- Don't get all passive-aggressive with him when he says he is tired or busy or whatever. If he doesn't feel like hanging out then he doesn't. "Why do you hate me but you can trust me but what's wrong but please tell me but I thought you were my friend but what did I do to you well thanks so much for making me feel bad some kind of friend you are" type of verbal badgering is not nice. Actually it's cringe-worthy. And it will not make him want to play.

 

- Don't go apesh!t all over his personal stuff again. Vandalising his notebook or whatever it was with random unsolicited messages was nowhere near as cute as you thought it was. People like people who understand boundaries.

 

- Be yourself, respect his autonomy and his personal boundaries, don't suffocate him, be fun to hang around with, and then he'll want to be your friend. Or not. But that's really up to him; all you can do is be yourself -your NICER self.

 

i really dont need you to criticize me on what i already did (because its not like i can go back and change it)

 

But that's how we all learn.

 

If you keep telling me that i should stop talking to him completely, give up on him, or you keep rubbing in the fact that we arent friends ... im just gonna stop posting.

 

I only dip in and out of this thread because it's impossibly long (and also quite difficult to read due to the fact that some people don't use punctuation or paragraphs, but that's another story), but I don't think anyone told you to drop him like a hot potato. If you guys hang out and you are both happy, carry on. What people have told you is that you need to dial yourself down quite a bit. Right now you are yelling at him at the top of your voice, so to speak, and you will get a lot further on your quest for friendship with him -and anyone else you'll meet in life- if you speak softly.

 

To wrap up, you just cannot badger someone into being your friend more than they are willing to be -it's a much more organic process. People click, or they don't. If he says you are only his "school friend", and you want to be more than that (a closer friend), you need to give him reasons to want to be your friend. You don't get to make demands like that on people.

[ramcoro]

its kinda creepy how you dissected my post like that.

[I_Speak_Jive]

its kinda creepy how you dissected my post like that.

 

I am sorry for creeping you out It's really not my intention to bother you when I reply to your posts; I hope you understand that everybody here is just trying to help you in their own way -and that includes me.

 

Do you see my point though? Maybe you think I am completely off the mark, and that's fair, of course. But I honestly think you'll be happier if you follow my advice

[ramcoro]

Thats the thing i AM happy. You guys acting as if im not but i am so i dont see whats all the fuss is about i just want to stop talking about me and go back to start talking about K.

 

BUT to he asked me today "what would you do if one of your friends turned out to be gay?" HE said that not me. I honestly didnt know what to say but i managed o say "well i really wouldnt care. You know live and let live?" then He said "but what if the gay guy is sexually attracted to you?" then i was REALLY stunned i said something like "well i dont know i guess you cant really say unless you are actually in the situation"

 

 

so i dont know what to make out of that...

[Belgian girl]

hehe sry I have to laugh.. just bit funny to see how people seem to surprise each other.

[ramcoro]

Its okay i would probably laugh if i was in you shoes too