All You Can Do Is Move On

[Regretfulman]

Being dumped is not easy, not easy at all, lots of questions go unanswered, feelings are left to hang out and dry. Most of the time, those who were dumped react emotionally, and do silly things like beg, plead, cry, show up at the exe's house, send gifts, text message, call, write e-mails, instant message, basically doing everything they shouldnt be doing.

 

Let's face it, it's not easy, but the sooner we realize it's over, the better we will feel. Holding on to bits and pieces of hope is torture, we must not beg for scraps, must not agree to be friends with someone who hurt us. The best thing to do is go No contact until we are truly healed. We must take care of ourselves, better ourselves, and become everything the ex said we wouldnt, but we should do it for ourselves, and not for them.

 

We must take this time apart to reflect and do everything we need to do to become better people. We must not answer the phone when the ex calls, we must move on. At some point down the road, we will heal, and someday we might want to finally be friends with that ex, or we may forget them totally. In some cases the ex comes back for a second try, but that will never happen if you dont establish NC and stick to it. So whether you are hoping to get back together, or hoping to heal, or both, you must do NC, its the only way.

 

We must move on, its very simple, yet very hard, goodluck people!!!

[minnie]

This is so true.

But.. with me i try to let go of hope, and tell myself its over and try to move on. But something in my mind always brings me back to him. I wouldn't call it day dreaming... well yeah i suppose it is, but i always have these visions of us in the future. When i realise i am doing it i try to stop myself. That is the hard part. But.. i suppose this will pass with time.

[LiquidCherry]

minnie-

You're comment reminded me of something I read that I find to be very true. When someone leaves you it's very painful and not just because of the present moment without them. When you love someone you think towards the future, you think of the things you will do together and the things you will share. You may even think of sharing your life.. But when it ends you don't just miss them in the here and now, you miss them in your future and your hopes and dreams. Sometimes it is most difficult to get over what you wanted rather than what you had because it is what we wanted that keeps us in the past.

[redandblack]

But when it ends you don't just miss them in the here and now, you miss them in your future and your hopes and dreams. Sometimes it is most difficult to get over what you wanted rather than what you had because it is what we wanted that keeps us in the past.

 

That was put VERY well. Readjusting to change, especially when you had so much invested into it, is very painful when change involves the heart.

 

Yes, moving on is the only way to live post-breakup. I am realizing this more and more every day. Forget about the future, step out of the past and live for today.

[Regretfulman]

im telling you now, even if you desire a second chance in the future, like most of us do, you have to forget it, and don't think about it, as hard as it is to do that. You must live your life like the ex does not exist. Then one day you might hear from them, and the best thing is realizing that you dont care anymore. The only way to get to that point is NC, i can't stress it enough. It works for 99% of cases, whether you want to get back together, or not, it is the only way to stay sane

[ocrob]

Once you give up on the past, you start seeing the future.

 

ocrob

[Hannibal]

Just out of curiosity, how are you supposed to know if the ex wants to come back if you wont talk to them?

[Regretfulman]

The ex knows how to get in touch with you, don't worry, thats the least of your problems, trust me. Unless you changed your number, your e-mail address, and moved to another town, your ex can track you down. I had an ex who came back to me over a year after our breakup, i had changed my number and my e-mail address, so she would hunt my car down and leave me notes under my windshield wipers. If there is a will, there is a way, they know how to reach you.