I haven't really felt like this before...

[hammo]

Hi i'm a guy, almost 18 and i'm feeling very sad at the moment.

My whole life, although generally uneventful has been happy. I'm intelligent, funny, good looking (so i have been told). i'm going to university next year, i have a caring family, a great if not small group of friends (both male and female) who really care about me.

My hobbies mostly consist of listening to, downloading, hearing and researching new music and bands (i'm an obsessive prog-rock fan- yea go the Mars Volta)

 

But many things have happened lately:

1. I have just finished high school which is a bit sad but i'm really looking forward to university. Leaving my great school full of awesome teachers and great memories is very sad.

2. The girl i have liked for almost a year (i've posted a ****load about her) Has rejected me for the third time, and now is going away for half a year. It's not too terrible tho, because unlike most other girls she is really making an effort to be nice to me and really enjoys my company as a friend. (i think she felt worse for rejecting me than i felt for getting rejected - at least thats the way it seemed at the time)

3. Half of my group of friends are all going away to universities all over the country so its quite likely ill never see them again, or at least for a very long time.

4. It's the holidays now and other than working i don't know what the hell i'm going to do. I feel like i'm going to have a very lonely summer holiday, apart from the fact that i've been invited by one of my friends to spend the christmas period with his family (because mine will be away from home for a few weeks then). Practically my social skills are terrible. I'm a geek that people really like once they get to know me. Yes - i have my group of 15 or so good friends, but i've known them for 5 years, and have hardly met anyone new. I have never had a girlfriend either (why does just about every single girl i DON'T like have to have a crush on me, but every girl i DO like, only want to be friends at most?)

5. My guy friends are the ones i spend most of my time with. The thing is that my two best friends both have girlfriends and are too buisy spending time alone with them to do anything with me, and the friends that don't have girlfriends spend all their time playing computer games and trading card games. I mean i enjoy TCGs and CGs, but i'd really like to get out more , meet new people, finally get a girlfriend, and these guys have no motivation whatsoever to leave their houses.

 

I'm pretty much feeling very lonely now, with the girl of my dreams out of reach and overseas, many friends moving away or too buisy to do anything with me.

But my life has been similar to this the whole time, and i've occasionally felt a bit frustrated but i've never felt like i just want to sit at home and wallow in self-pity. Everyone is always amazed at how constantly happy i am, and if i tell someone who knows me well that i've had a bad day they assume someone in my family must have died (okay i exaggerate, but i'm overall a happy person)

 

I know people say get a hobby, play a sport. I have plenty of hobbies, i do sports, i have a part time job. i'm buisy doing something almost every waking hour, i am more active than any of my other friends. But still this feeling persists. What can i do to feel better? Has anyone been in a situation like this where life is pretty much great, a bright future ahead of you, but you feel sad and lonely anyway?

[antigravity]

Wow, your definitely going through a tough period in your life. I'd be shocked if you weren't feeling scared or lonely at this point. I think your being perfectly normal.

 

I think deep down although you say your looking forward to moving on, your probably a little scared about what the future holds for you. But losing your friends would be hard for anyone. So once again, you're fine!

 

Stick through it, if your as intelligent and good looking as people say you are (which i'm sure you are... otherwise why would they say it?) you shouldn't have any problem making new friends and getting a girlfriend.

 

Good luck mate!

[PocoDiablo]

Going to college is the time when you get to learn to be a man. May I suggest you think about reading some books and web sites on dating, flirting, social skills, body language, public speaking, and other things that will help you stand out at school?

 

Remember this - when you go to college, make it a point to hang out with people who are smarter than you, such as seniors and teachers. You can only learn from people who have been there before you.

[hk87]

^^ above is very good advice. I've just been through exactly the same as you are about to go through. It took me nearly the first term to settle in. But now I've made friends and I'm enjoying uni life a lot more. There are still moments I feel down and upset, but they are becoming less frequent- and to tell you the truth, it's usually at the weekends I feel worse! It will get better, I promise. Everyone told me it would get better, and I refused to believe them because I was feeling so low, but now I'm seeing where they were coming from- it does improve. Stick in there and don't give up!

 

Take care, Hk87

[ShySoul]

The end of high school and start of college is a rough time for most people. It is the ending of one chapter and the start of a new one. It is perfectly natural to feel a mix of emotions.... joy, excitement, sadness, nostaliga, regret,etc.

 

On your points:

 

1. It's natural to feel sad about leaving high school, you spent a lot of time there building up memories. But you have new memories to create in the future that wil mean just as much to you.

 

2. Rejections is hard and takes time to deal with. But at least you still have her as a friend and she is nice to you. In time you will find someone else who will not reject you.

 

3. In this day and age a person is never to far away. You will call and email each other. You will stay in touch if you really want to. You may not see them or hear from them as much, but you will stay in touch. And in the meantime you will meet lots of new people in college.

 

4. Spend the holiday with your friend, you'll both have fun. Though I'm sorry you can't spend it with your family, I know how sad that can make you. As far as your group of friends... you have been friends for 5 years. That says something about how strong the friendships are. It's not the number of friends you have, but the quality of friends. Are these people you can count on and trust with anything? Then consider yourself lucky to have friends like that. Please college is a doorway to all kinds of new relationships - friends and even possibly a girlfriend.

 

5. Again, college gives opportunites. There are all kinds of activities you can do to meet new people and be active. In the meantime, keep busy. It may feel bad right now, I've felt that way before. You seem to have a good life on the outside, but on the inside something doesn't feel right. But that passes and you do feel better. You just have to believe in yourself. If you were able to get so many good friends, then you already know how to, you don't need any extra books or tips. Just be yourself, do what you enjoy, and have fun.

[hammo]

Hey thanks guys for the supportive words. I know it will get better, i just hope it happens soon. I have about 2 months till university. I don't know how i'm going to get through that but i know i will. Looks like im gonna spend a lot of the holidays playing dungeons and dragons - yay

[ShySoul]

Hey man, D&D is cool. Why wouldn't you want to be a dark elf lord?

 

You'll make it. You have a job to fill some of the time. And you can find other activities. It won't be as boring as you think.

[hammo]

lol actually i'm the dungoen master, and if i'm a character it's usually a Half-Elf Bard