What is meaning of "not for a while"?

[sandbox2832]

He told me this tonight in response to question "can we still be friends? I knew he was T'd off yet didn't rea;lize it was this bad. What does it mean?

My biker BF broke up with me permanently this time. It had something to do with the stray dog coming to my house and his promise to help me with the dog and his other girl friend Judy from nebraska who was coming to see him over Turkey weekend. I wasn't pleased with it yet I was willing to put up with him. I posted last year under the no contact site forum. Anyway, patience is not good with me. I called him Tuesday night to remind him about his promise to fix the fence so the dog could not get out as Judy was coming in that night and he had wanted to dothat before she got here. I sent him an email on Wednesday night telling him off I thought in a nice way. Judy left Sunday night for home. I called him tonight and he responded in an irritated voice "what do you need?" I made nice comment about if his holiday had gone good in so many words. Then I asked him "IF WE COULD STILL BE FRIENDS?" TO which he replied "NOT FOR A WHILE". It wasn't just an angry tone--It's hard to describe it.

 

It tells me he will not fulfill his promises to help out with the dog as he had indicated if I took the dog in and his other promises he made on some other things.

 

dOES THIS MEAN A FEW MONTHS, SEVERAL YEARS, OR FOREVER? i KNOW THE bf-gf RELATIONSHIP IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE. wHAT KIND OF FRIENDSHIP COULD BE REBUILT AND HOW MUCH TIME OF NO CONTACT WOULD BE REQUIRED FOR HIM TO BE ACCEPTING OF ANY KIND OF FRIENDSHIP AT ALL? I go on bike rides and I will see him on occasion. Right now its cold and I'm not riding much. In the spring if I work my part time job I won't be riding much and can use that as an excuse.

 

I've dated this guy off and off since October 2000. We have broken up and regot back together several times yet this appears to be permanent.

 

I'm rambling here. I'm still in a little shock though I might appear to have it all together, I don't. NOT FOR A WHILE--from a guy's point of view, what is he really saying to me. Could he be interested in any type of casual/aquaintance type contact given enough NO CONTACT or am I just sunk for ever? I feel like I lost a very good friend because I was stupid and impatient. I had a pity party last night and told my cats all my woes and then felt stronger and got myself together and took the dog out for her daily walk.

 

I probably should give up the dog as it is costing me money yet right now with the dog being abandoned as she was and finding my yard as a refuge, and me being abandoned, if I give up the dog now, I would be giving up on me.

 

He had told me that he wouldl take the dog initially then backed out of it the next day and told me that I would be better with the dog than him yet did not give any explanation for it. I'm mostly a cat person yet i do like dogs. Anyway, I'm rambling again. What does "not for a whlie" mean from a guy's perspective? Any responses would be appreciated.-amy

[ZoeMatthews]

Start NC ASAP... "not for a while" means what it means, NOT FOR A WHILE! he seems to want sort things out and he needs time...

 

I think I posted kind of like the same question not too long ago..but instead of asking what "not for a while" meant...I posted about the dreaded "I need a break" phrase...

 

Just give him time...I cannot give you a time frame...he might contact you, he might not...

 

Just go on with your life..and enjoy your new pooch!! Go for walks and clear your head...I have started doing that and it has really helped me...

 

Love

 

ZM

[polaris]

It's important to tell yourself, sandbox, that you're not to blame here. You were pleasant to him, you let him have his Turkey time first before asking him to keep his promises, heck, you even let him have his other gf here for Thanksgiving! It wasn't you being impatient, and it didn't really end because of the dog; that was just an excuse that I imagine he's been looking for.

 

You can do so much better, I promise you. I know it hurts a lot right now, but Zoe is right, no contact asap, and at some point in the not too distant future, you'll look back and wonder how on earth you ever put up with him.