vulnerable Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Warm greetings to all! here I am again... for those of you who doesn't know my story...bf cheated...lied...verbal and physical abuse...you name it, yes I was stupid enough to put up with all that. But not this time. I am finally all MOVED OUT! Yes I am.. it was very hard but I have decided that it is the best thing to do for my pregnant self... Hopefully you guys can give me advice as to why I am feeling so down this morning I woke ... no tears, thank GOD! but it feels like something inside of me died... I mean I guess this is normal??? I know that deep down inside I did the right thing...he kept on giving me the "I need time"...blah blah speech. After every thing that we went through and now the pregnancy.. he gave me that speech... I thought I'll never be able to move out, but I did and I am glad that I did, but I am sooo super sad, I can't even describe how I feel. Please any words of advice, encouragement will help me get through this rough time. I really appreciate any comments or thoughts you might have. Please? Thanks again for listening....... Link to comment
ZoeMatthews Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Well, if you are pregnant and sad, it could be hormones... but I am glad you moved out. You cannot stay in scuh a bad situation. Not good for you or the baby. Do you have emotional support? Friends? Parents? realize you have done the right thing!! (((hugs)) ZM Link to comment
vulnerable Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 yes I will be staying at a friends house over the weekend and plan to move in with my other girlfriend in January but throughout Dec...I'll have to just stay at a friends until I am settled again. It just makes me really really sad to think about him turning his back on me after every thing that happened. Thank you for your response...every bit helps me..I sure hope that I did the right thing knowing that he has been so distant these past weeks making both of our lives so miserable and now that I am gone, I still eeel miserable but just stay optimistic and keep my head up..hopefully something good is in store for me and the baby. I hate that I am feeling so down...thoughts running through my head... good and bad...mixed emotions to say...oh how I hate to go through this emotions now... God help me... Link to comment
vulnerable Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 Please post any words of encouragement...I am extremely sad at the moment... I feel like the clouds just fell from the sky... why is this?? I don't know what to do... please advise.............. Link to comment
Indirect Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Ok, was he physically abusive towards you the whole time? Or was it more like you pushed his botton and he the same thing so you guys couldn't get along? And what do you mean with him saying "I need time?" Time for what? Time to get married or time to "I need to find myself or see where I am standing in this relationship?" You are pregnant, literally homeless, wondering around with no solid emotional and financial support... No wonder you feel sad. I am so sorry you are in this situation but if I were in your shoes, I would be REALLY down. Do you have a more supportive base like a family member (mother or father) that can help you at this moment? How are you coping financially? Listen, I am not really good at cheering people up but you feeling depressed may eventually have some negative effects on your baby. I am glad at least you have friends that are willing to house you. What about your ex-bf? Is he going to support you financially during pregnancy? Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Vulnerable, Congratulations! You have done the right thing and sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing and it will take some time before you see the sunshine, but you will. This is all about you now and the baby. Go NC with the ex if you can being I'm not sure if he is doing the right thing by financially aiding you and your unborn child. I believe you are in California correct? If so he can be forced by the courts to pay for your medical bills and pay child support even if you are not married. Depending upon how long you lived with him, even spousal support. If there is a record of domestic abuse it could get real ugly for him. Look in to community resources for legal and medical advice. You have taken a big step and you need to move forward and never look back. Chances are if he was abusive to you, he would be to your baby as well. Link to comment
vulnerable Posted December 5, 2005 Author Share Posted December 5, 2005 Thank you all for your support... I am slowly facing this ever changing life of mine alone, I still think that I did the right thing and although I still ask my self the "what if's" I know in my heart that I did the right thing. Thank you for your comment relationship coach... he was abusive with me and chances are he will be until the end... so it is good that I walked away now. I will be alright in God's hands and support from my family and friends and the folks on this site whose been a great support for me these days... Thank you again and again!!!! Much love to all! Link to comment
Nicesmile Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 Vulnerable The "what if's" are always there and because you are pregnant you might be tempted to think there was more you could have done. But I believe that everything happens for a reason and eventually works out for good. You will feel low - pregnancy and breakup - but with time you will be ok. For now, put one foot infront of the other. Think about the baby and how gorgeous he/she will look like. Tell you what, tell us all your dreams for the baby. Start with names.... Link to comment
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