Any advice? I really need help (highschool)

[billy99bob]

Here's the thing, please read this. I know it's long but I'd appreciate any advice.

 

About a year ago I found out this girl liked me, and then I really liked her, but someone else asked her out and they went out for several months. They broke up a few months ago, and I still really really like her. I got a friend of her's to tell her that I like her, and wanna go out with her. She replied, "I don't want to go out with anyone right now." The thing is, I still really like her, and want to go out with her. We have soo much in common, but she is really busy all the time. Also: We go to the same school, and see each other lots, but pretty much never talk to eachother. I am kinda shy, and haven't gone out with a girl before either....

Any advice, I don't know what to do, I can't get over her

 

please, anyone who reads this reply

[emma34]

Hmmm...well first - what could "I don't want to go out with anyone right now" mean? It's possible shes still upset about ex, loving the single life, too busy for a boyfriend...but - to be brutally honest with you, if she knew that you liked her, and did not express any feelings back, theres a good chance shes just not interested and was trying to be nice. From my view of things, what has happened here is you sort of indirectly asked her out by letting her know that you were interested and she declined. thres no use focusing on her too much. If your interested in winning her over, portray to her you feel about her in romantic ways if you want, but the best thing would to just become friends with her..Tell her that you like her, but if shes not intersted in that kind of thing, maybe you guys can hang out and just be friends...who knows, maybe things will go from there? I don't really know what kind of advice to give for this kind of thing, but all the best of luck to you.

[billy99bob]

common people...any other comments?

o and i always have plently of oppurtunities to talk to her, i just never do when i have those oppurtunities(i know im an idiot)

uh...o yah, also: if i cant go out with her, i really wanna become friends withe her. I often go to the same parties etc. as her, but I never reallyl talk to her in person, so i wouldn't really call us good friends (which is what i wanna become)

 

so any ideas out there?

[smallworld]

Welcome to Enot Billy99Bob! I agree with Emma, but just wanted to add that although you've had feelings for her for over a year, her heart was most likely very preoccupied with her boyfriend (now Ex.) So when you confessed your feelings to her without having spent the time to get to know and befriend her, she might have felt really uncomfortable by the unexpected nature of your confession.

 

I know it's hard but if you really like a girl, you need to put forth the effort to get to know her and give her a chance to know and fall in love with you. You do this by being friendly, interested in her (ask her how she is, find out what's she into, etc.) , making her laugh, and by being flirtatious.

 

If you both travel in the same social circles, the opportunities to intersect with her regularly shouldn't be a problem. It's just a matter of trying.

[justify_yourlove]

It is true that she may not be interested. Even if there was a slight bit of interest coming from her part, she should've mentioned it to her friend in addition to "Maybe now is not the best time". Maybe you can continue to be her good friend for now, especially since she needs one after a break up. If she sees how you really care for her, you would mean a lot to her...and who knows what will happen next?

[billy99bob]

sounds good, thanks for the advice, but what do I have to do to become friends with her? like we're already kinda friends, its complicated, but yah....like im too shy to talk to her a lot....so like what do i do

[Jessica45]

I think you should just show her that you know she's there, like you can smile at her when you see her, or just a simple "hi". Be friendly with her and let her know she can talk to you. And, don't be too forceful, or pressuring about it.Good luck!!!

[lovecrazy]

Just be friends with her, eventually if its meant to be it will happen you cant force it!

 

Trust me on that I learned the hard way!

[Dating Coach]

She's not interested. I am curious to know how you *knew* she was interested in you before, and then when you liked her back suddenly you were cut off by another guy? She must not have been *that* into you to rush into the arms of someone else before she got your answer back... that or she never was really interested in you.

 

You got your friend to tell her that you like her... that's a big no no. Why couldn't you tell her? Well regardless, she is not interested. I guarantee that if the hot jock that she has been crushing on asked her out she would suddenly be ready for a relationship again. What she gave you was an excuse, but her actions tell you the truth. She knows you like her and she isn't going out with you. That's her answer.

 

I don't get this "be friends with her" advice unless you are cool with just being friends. Something tells me that you will keep hoping that she will "change her mind" and that being best of pals with her is just another way for you to be around her and try to get her to like you. If that is the case I am telling you now to stop. Her decision is made and you aren't going to change her mind. If you keep pursing a dead end then you are only going to be wasting your time and you will only get more and more attached to her and it will hurt far more later on when she tells you no yet again.

 

My advice is to move on. You're ahead of the game now because you haven't falling head over heels for her, but if you keep chasing someone who rejected you then you are setting yourself up for some major hurt in the future.

[billy99bob]

About the 'friends' thing, i really mean just friends, not hoping to hook up with her.

And, basically last x-mas break she really liked me, I found out through the same guy that asked her out. She liked me, but this guy liked her. I didn't know that she liked me, until that guy told me. He said something like this, although I don't really remember: (This was msn, at midnight, the day before he asked her out)

Him

Dude [girls name] likes you.

 

ME

ok cool

 

Him

I think Im going to ask her out tomorrow

 

Then he signed off

[billy99bob]

Any other advice? Or anyone want to elaborate?

[Teen_023]

well so u asked her out through a friend? ryte? well maybe u shud hav dun that by urself.see if u shy then wait first talk to her, develop a friendship and then ask her out. maybe she is a bit depressed bcoz of her breakup?

if she is in school then try wit frenship say by exchanging notes!!!!

 

being a gurl can giv u this advice.

 

if u wanna ask sumthing more about it coz know its dificult to understand girls,

mail me at,

lazybones021@yahoo.co.in

 

n 1 more thing jus be urself in front of her as u r with others

 

 

 

praying for u

~Yashna

[billy99bob]

I don't believe her ex has anything to do with this. They broke up in August, or maybe early September. She's not depressed, because of him, and they are still friends.

Also. I didn't know until after, but it was one of her friends that told her I like her, just when they were hanging out together or something. So, it's not like I got her to ask her out for me, I would have done that myself

[billy99bob]

well......any more advice?

[billy99bob]

O yah, I thought of something else.

I said earlier that I am really shy.

Well I am only shy in groups of people, not one on one, one on two etc. Its kinda opposite, but like if i was just alone in a room with her, we'd talk etc., cuz im not shy in that situation. BUT, if we were sitting down in a group of people, I wouldn't be able to talk with her.