From girlfriend to lesbian in two hours!

[Mattie]

I've recently been chasing a girl that I met a few months ago in a club. As soon as I met her, there was a connection. I felt a spark whenever we spoke and being around her made me feel so comfortable.

 

We met up casually whilst we were out separately with our friends and eventually we met up on our own.

 

The first night we went out together was fantastic. We got on really well and I ended up staying with her. As we were kissing, she told me that she'd recently split up with somebody. Nothing happened between us that night. I didn't want to rush things and make it worse for her. It was a nice night nevertheless.

 

So, we emailed each other and phoned each other every so often and she came home this weekend. We went out for lunch on Saturday and, again, got on really really well. Later on that evening, she invited me to a family party that she was going to. I was a bit nervous about meeting her family, but they were lovely to me. I was being introduced as the guy that she was seeing. I was really really happy at this moment in time.

 

We left the party and went to a club and continued to have a great night together. A friend saw us together and ask her if we were "together". She said yes and we looked at each other and both smiled. I was so so happy.

 

I saw some of my friends and I went to talk to them and she went to speak to her friends.

 

We met up at towards the end of the night and she pulled me aside and said she had to tell me something... I didn't like what I was hearing, but went with her to a quiet corner of the club we were in.

 

Here's the twist...

 

She apologised to me and said that she is a lesbian. She's tried to fight it for so long, but she can't keep leading people on.

 

We get on really well and I really like this girl, but I don't know what to do. I can understand that she doesn't want to lead me on and I respect her for being honest, but why did she introduce me to her family and friends as her boyfriend? I asked her and she said that she wasn't sure. She said that I'd be the perfect boyfriend, but she had to tell me before it got out of control.

 

I think that maybe she is confused. If she was 100% about her sexuality, surely she'd have told me that from the outset right?

 

I just don't know what to do. I don't want to turn my back on her, because she is a great friend if nothing else.

 

I am just confused as to why she left it so late to tell me something like that. It was just very sudden. One minute, I'm her new boyfriend and the next, I'm nothing.

 

I didn't know how to react. We were both drunk by the time she told me and we had a slight argument about it. We've spoken since and we're both apologising to each other all the time about Saturday night.

 

I could perhaps understand it if she told me everything and never wanted to see me again, but the next day, I drove her back to uni and we've been emailing each other again this week just like we used to.

 

What do I do?!

 

If you have read my previous posts... I swear I am cursed.

[thetruthintheformofhiphop]

Well that is never a good thing,knowing your g/f might be a potential lesbian,It maybe hot, but not pretty at all.At first its all fun and games, but then imagine if you see her with another girl!!. I think you should have a talk with her if she is not that certain about her sexuallity, then give her a certain time to tell you the answer.When she gives you the answer you have to be certain of what you want, its either be her b/f and be kind of uncomfortable each time you see each other a tinsy bit, or be her friend and just help her out.This is a crazy situation, Maybe someone else can help you out,Maybe evenn ex-lesbian or something.

 

Hope you get your relation straight. Literaly

[Jinx]

It seems a bit odd to jump from having a boyfriend whom you go through the whole process and then suddenly make a statement about being a Lesbian in the way she did.

 

I dated men awhile back, but of course that was before I came to my own realization, I'd never date a man now and especially say - Just thought I'd let you in on a little secret...

 

It could very well be that she was being pressured by her parents and this was her method of coping with the ongoing "Someday you'll meet a nice man, preferably very soon.", I get that often I just don't give into it or she is one of those (it relates to the above too) that just get someone, anyone, just to say they had someone - if that sentence makes sense. Or it could be a crude break up method to her, not pleasant on her behalf no matter how it was meant.

 

I think the point is things need clarified. You don't need to be the one hurt in this situation, she needs to make a decision of her own, and if she is beating around the bush about whether She is or isn't, it isn't good for a relationship by any means. It won't be an easy think if she is being pressured by family but you most certainly don't need caught up in the whirlwind of confusion so to speak.

[Dating Coach]

She's not confused. Why would you say that? If she told you flat out that she was a lesbian she is either a lesbian, or she has no interest in you romantically and is trying to let you go easy. Either way, this is a rejection. Instead of creating reasons in your head to persue this beyond her rejection, move on. and be happy you found out now rather than later.

[Tigris]

My personal opinion is that she is still going through the stage of trying to find out who and what she is! It's possible that at present she could be Bi?

 

It's taken me to the age of 42 to discover who I am! I thought I was a lesbian at 13 but I pushed it to the back of my mind. I had boyfriends and I've been married twice. The first time for 5 years. I'm in the middle of a divorce, we've been married 13 years! Yes, it's my fault! I've suddenly realised who I am after struggling with my feelings since 1999!

 

In 1998 I decided I must be Bi and chose to just accept it and do nothing about it. Unfortunately, the feelings got stronger!

 

I think you should sit down and have a serious talk. Find out exactly where she thinks she is regarding her sexuality? Then decide what sort of relationship the two of you want?

 

Good luck.

[Indirect]

Either she is in the middle of stage of sexual transition OR she is just playing you. Either way, she should have been more honest with you but what is obvious is that she no longer wishes to be with you. As hard as it sounds, try to move on. You feelings are hurt and that is no surprise and I'm sorry for that.

[wlfpack81]

Yea man move on to the next girl!!!