Is his ex a threat?

[Cami]

I've been seeing this guy for the past week. I really like him, but I'm a bit worried about the situation with his ex. Their r good friends (as opposed to me and my ex). There are text messages from her on his phone - I can deal with that. They are involved with a lot of stuff together at uni - I can just aout deal with that. The other nite one of her mates texted him saying his ex was walking home alone and he phoned her to check if she got home okay and prob would go to wherever she was and walk her home if need be - isnt that a bit too much for someone that's ur ex. Most guys wouldnt do that for a 'friend.' He says how could he not be friends with someone he cared a lot about at one point (they went out for 4 and a half months and it was his first serious relationship). He had a bust up with one of his friends cos is friend said he's too nice to his ex. I mena even he's angry at her cos she broke up with him because 'he was too nice.' Also, he doesnt talk about her too much, he will mention her here and there. Am I worrying for no reason? Am I just being a paranoid girl? The thing is I dont want to be a rebound - been there done that. Please let me know what u think. Thanks. xxxx

[Tigris]

Put youself in his shoes. How would you have felt if your ex had been walking home alone and somebody had attacked, raped or murdered them? If that happened I'm sure he'd have never forgiven himself for the rest of his life!

 

I'm sure that his caring nature is what attracted you to him in the first place. Do you really want him to change?

 

The next time something like this happens agree that it's not a good idea for her to walk home alone and tell him you'll go with him. That way she's safe and you know what's going on.

 

I hope everything in your relationship works out the way you want it to.

 

Good luck and take care.

[Shadows Light]

What a wonderful man. To know its over. To know that he loved her at one time... and still care enough to keep her safe.

 

I'd want to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and say he was being chivelrous in an era that chivlary is dead. I agree with Tigris, next time offer to walk with them. Maybe, even tell him what a great gesture it is on his part.

 

Uggghhhh.. I should be so lucky. I could be lying in knee deep muck and sicker than a dog.. yet my "X" would more than likely show up just so he could push me deeper into it and gloat.. rather than give me a helping hand. AND.. I have his 2 children. ugggghhhh.

[ZoeMatthews]

Oh my goodness, this is soooo wrong!

 

Okay, from personal experience, I feel that this guy still has feelings for his ex.

 

My ex got mad at me once because I was on the phone with my best friend who happened to be a guy..He was mad because I wanted to have a private converstation him....

 

But then, when HIS ex called, asking him for money and some other sh**, he would never talk infront of me!!

 

What's my point...okay fine, he might be a nice guy, but its suspicious... why is he jumping everytime his ex needs something...

 

Be careful..I was the re-bound girlfriend in my last relationship...and after 2.5 years he realized that he wanted to take a break...if he had only listened to me!! LOL

[ocrob]

Hello all,

 

I have a totally different view of this, but I will say it anyway. If I read correctly, you have been seeing him for a week. Am I missing something? Were you dating and now going out? Until there is a committment, you really can't have any expectations. Both people are free to do anything they want until there is a committment. The fact he went out with her for 4 and 1/2 months is nothing. He barely new this person as a girlfriend. And you two are just in the getting to know phase. I am sure there is something I am missing, but if not, then you have no right to be jealous. It is natural and understandable, but you are till so new in the relationship phase. I would not call a 4 1/2 relationship very serious, but I am sure it was to him. I would just be easy going about it and see where things go. I have only been in three relationships and tend not to give my heart away very quickly. I say try to be openminded and not jealous and find out if he is the guy you want to be with. Just my opinion and if you can shed light on something I missed, then I may change my mind. Good luck!

 

Robert

[RayKay]

I agree fully with this. A week into it, it is way too early to be putting demands on one another, and it sounds like he cares about her as friend and she is not a "threat" or anything.

 

Take your time to learn more about each other, and decide if you even are right for one another, it is still really early.

 

It sounds like he cares about her, and was concerned about her safety. That is something friends do, it's not like he ditched you to go to her or something like that!

 

Being jealous and telling him he cannot see his ex, without a cause (ie without any indication of indiscretions going on or something) is jealous and possessive, even more so a week into it, and a huge turn off for most people!