If You Were Dumped, Please Read This

[Regretfulman]

The best thing you can do when someone dumps you is move on. I know it's so very hard to do, but you must force yourself to do it. You will never succeed in winning your ex back by begging, pleading, crying, manipulating, etc. The only logical thing to do is forget them as best you can, take care of yourself, treat yourself, try to have fun, surround yourself with good people, and try to talk to new people. Do whatever it takes to get your mind off that person who hurt you. No contact is not an option, it is mandatory in almost every case, very few exceptions. Your ex will be puzzled as to why you stopped calling or e-mailing, they will miss you, and they will think about you more and more, trust me. Ignoring them will not make them forget you, it will make you a bigger thought in their minds, its basic psychology. If there is any hope of the 2 of you getting back together, it will only come once NC has been established for an extended period. Your ex will not forget you, he/she will always remember you, but if you push them and bug them they will run further away from you. The best part about NC is that after enough time has passed, you may find yourself totally over your ex, then one day they will call you looking to get back together, and you will have no desire to even speak to them, it's really the sweetest revenge. And for those of us who have an ex who is dating someone new since the breakup, don't worry yourself about that either. No contact is still the way to go, never settle for being a friend, or a fallback guy, you deserve to be number one, not number 2. Don't be a cushion for your ex, don't talk to them, let them enjoy the new person in their lives. Maybe they will think twice once you decide to exit their life for good, and the new person might not look so hot anymore. It may take some time though, in most cases your ex will enjoy the new person, but guess what? Every relationship has a "honeymoon" stage, where everything is perfect and good and the person you are with seems like "the one". Well this stage doesn't last very long, and soon the grass isn't so green on the other side. This is when you have your best chance at having the ex come back to you, but you must be practicing No contact all along for it to work. People, all it takes is one fight sometimes between the ex and the new person, to send them running back to you, but never take them back right away, always wait, and don't seem eager to get back. There is always a good chance at getting back together with an ex, always. You just have to play your cards right, but I will say that NC must be first used as a method of healing for yourself, because you never know the future, the best thing for anyone to do after a breakup is to move on and heal, and if you get a second chance in the future great, and if u are healed then heck, you won't even want a second chance at all. Goodluck to everyone, life does go on, and you can be happy, just think positive and follow my advice!!!

[JMevo]

That pretty much sums it up.

[Tony29UK]

Now that is exactly what i wanted / needed to hear!

 

A print and keep in wallet moment!!!

 

Good post.

 

 

Tony

[Regretfulman]

Glad to see you guys agree, stay strong and stay focused, let the ex see what she is missing, trust me, it will pay off someday.

[AC874]

Oh ive pushed this girl so far away.

 

How far is too far......?

[Jut]

Rgretful

What was your story? DId she call recently?

[thegirl_00]

This thread is brilliant! I dumped my boyfriend 2 weeks ago and he kept calling and calling! It sounds harsh, but it made me like him less and less. Now he never calls, or e-mails and I'm starting to miss him. It's funny how things work.

 

Everyone should read this thread!!!=D>

[Regretfulman]

Hey, its never too late to reignite the flame, NC is powerful, and once you finally decide to use it, it won't matter what you did in the past, when you are apart, people tend to remember the good time you had, not the bad times. It is never too late, trust me

[Regretfulman]

My story is long, but I used to do all the typical stuff that anyone who is dumped does, but I smartened up and decided to move on, and once I had her out of my mind, she started to show up again, like magic.

[Regretfulman]

Hey the_girl20, what is your story? Do you now want your ex back or what? share the story with us please

[hockeyboy]

Oh ive pushed this girl so far away.

 

How far is too far......?

 

I have to tell you something...but first know that there is no guarantee that your ex will come back. It is not wise to sit around and hope she will come back. If shes going to it will probably be when you least expect it...and when you think theres no chance. But just one story...i pushed my ex away real far....i never thought shed come back after what i did. However..she did indeed come back and we almost got back together but i did not want to put in the effort. We're actually pretty close friends now and still hang out...but that was after a lot of NC and dating other people (both of us). So dont worry about having pushed this girl so far away...if shes gonna come back, she will, if she wont, she wont. Worry about yourself..not her.

[Regretfulman]

The Exes Always Come Back In Some Capacity, Lets Face It, Curiosity Always Kills The Cat, And They Come Back. They Will Disguise The True Reason For Coming Back, Of Course, Using The Typical "im Just Calling To See How You Are", And Thats A Big Lie. Most The Time When An Ex Calls They Are Hoping To Keep In Touch With You In Case The New Person Falls Through, But Don't Get Suckered, Show Them That You Are Worth More Then That, And Stick With The No Contact, It Will Drive Them Crazy

[hockeyboy]

id also like to say...there was one girl who i dated and i broke up with her. i was on the rebound...but i broke her heart. i wanted nothing to do with her....finally one day i realized what i had done. i called her and apologized. since then there has always been a part of me that has wanted her back. ive never told her those words exactly...because when i try to feel her out she doesnt seem to take...but a part of me does regret leaving her...she was/is a great girl. So ya...ive been on both ends of the stick...she used NC on me for a while and it worked!

[hockeyboy]

The Exes Always Come Back In Some Capacity, Lets Face It, Curiosity Always Kills The Cat, And They Come Back. They Will Disguise The True Reason For Coming Back, Of Course, Using The Typical "im Just Calling To See How You Are", And Thats A Big Lie. Most The Time When An Ex Calls They Are Hoping To Keep In Touch With You In Case The New Person Falls Through, But Don't Get Suckered, Show Them That You Are Worth More Then That, And Stick With The No Contact, It Will Drive Them Crazy

 

im my situations the ex has always come back after breaking up with the "other guy." the lonliness gets to them. and im not gonna lie....the girl that i went back to...or tried to go back to....it was after a breakup i had. its just how people work.

[thegirl_00]

I broke up with my boyfriend and he told me he couldn't go on anymore and that he was going to give up on life and everything. It made me sad, but it also made me feel like he was VERY weak and i don't want to be with a weak person. Now he hasn't talked to me in 3 days and i found myself calling HIM today to see what's up. When i first broke up with him i didn't miss him at all, and i started to think i never loved him, but now i realize that i did love him and i still do. He put himself in a very awful and unattactive position when we first broke up, but the NC really made him seem a lot more confident. It's almost like I'm the one begging now... know what i mean? lol

[Regretfulman]

3 Days? Thats All It Took? How Old Are You Guys? Usually No Contact Takes Several Weeks, Even Many Months To Finally Work. If You Are Younger I Guess I Can Understand, But For People 21 And Over, It Takes Time For The Nc To Sink In

[Dako]

The best part about NC is that after enough time has passed, you may find yourself totally over your ex, then one day they will call you looking to get back together, and you will have no desire to even speak to them, it's really the sweetest revenge.

 

If you once loved them sincerely, how can you be this vindictive?

Sounds cruel to me, but I'm no expert.

[BONO]

PERFECT THREAD

This is what this topic is all about. Hope for you (in waht ever shape or form) and potentially hope to get your ex back. Well done to all .... keep it coming !

[Regretfulman]

This isn't being vindictive, it's being true to yourself, which is the only person that matters when you have been dumped. who is going to take care of you? Do you think your ex can help you heal? Absolutely not, so you must take care of yourself, and the best way to do it is by stopping all contact, it helps you heal and sends a message to the ex that you are moving on and you arent waiting for them, you are in control, not them

[ZoeMatthews]

I agree with Regretful...They dumped you and if you are over them, then if you can, move on with your life...

 

But the other option would be to go back..and see things from a different perspective...

 

This week, if my ex were to call me and ask me to get back together with him, I would say to let me think about it and totally make him wait...

 

I don't know how I would feel if he were to call me in a couple of months... or maybe 6 months from now...

 

Zoe

[Regretfulman]

You can't give your ex what he/she wants, you have to remember that they took something from you, now you must take something from them, it's your only bargaining tool. If you stay in contact with your ex as friends, they can keep tabs on you, feel safe and secure knowing you are always around. Then they are free to find someone else and date, knowing all the while that they can come back to you, and thats not right. You have to even the playing field by taking away that crutch, that friendship, and make them suffer a little too, its' the quickest way to get them back, the longer you stay in touch, the longer it will be before they miss you and want you back, simple as that.

[Dako]

This isn't being vindictive, it's being true to yourself, which is the only person that matters when you have been dumped. who is going to take care of you? Do you think your ex can help you heal? Absolutely not, so you must take care of yourself, and the best way to do it is by stopping all contact, it helps you heal and sends a message to the ex that you are moving on and you arent waiting for them, you are in control, not them

 

Read my post. I'm not equating NC with being vindictive. It's the need to get her back so you can hurt her for sweet revenge that gets me.

 

Read your own last post.

"They took something of yours...take something from them...make them suffer to get them back" etc. If you want to move on, why be so fixed on getting even or manipulating them to return?

 

Your logic escapes me, but you must be in turmoil.

[Regretfulman]

no, the sweet revenge is when you don't want the person anymore, it's justice. it's not anything but moving on with you life, and when the person that dumped you decides they want you, guess what? it's too late, and it teaches them a lesson, it's not with ill-will, its actually a life lesson that needs to be learned.

[Dako]

If you want to move on and take control, why do you write about using NC to get her back, possibly just to reject her?

 

I sense some real anger here, so I'll stop irritating you.

 

Best of luck.

[Regretfulman]

No Contact Works For Moving On And Getting An Ex Back, My Point Was Simple: Use No Contact And Get Over Your Ex, Then When He/she Calls Wanting You Back Someday, You Have Options. If You Are Over Her Totally, Then Thats Great, Tell Them "no", If Not Then You Can Try A Second Time To Make It Work. Nc Simply Gives You Options Instead Of Always Being The Chaser