Feeling Kind of Sad

[Trax]

Hello all, I've posted my story before so I'm not going to re-write everything. Here it is for anyone that's interested in reading it.

 

 

 

Things had been going pretty well for me lately. I started talking to other girls and even had a date. The girl I was interested in hasn't called me back after I tried getting in touch with her a couple of times. So, I guess that she simply isn't as interested as I thought. So, whatever I can deal with it. I even started talking to a lot of my old friends that I hadn't had much contact with once I started seeing the ex.

 

For some reason I've been feeling kind of sad the past couple of days. I thought I had moved on because honestly I had been emotionally drained from everything that had happened. When I thought of my ex, it no longer bothered me and I didn't have that sadness or anger or anything else. But, today I felt that empty feeling again and the questions and images resurfaced. Was she seeing someone behind my back? How could she have treated me this way? How could she move on so quickly?, etc. I'm just at a loss here since I thought I was done with this nonsense.

 

I know I still love her and probably always will even though those feelings have dissipated dramatically since the break up. I know in my mind that no matter how I feel about her, that I can never go back based on principal alone.

 

I think what triggered it was the fact that I saw her on AIM the other day. This was the first time in months she's signed on. She stopped using it because I did. I'm guessing she just did it to get in touch with friends since I know her favorite band was playing this weekend. No messages were exchanged, and I certainly will not get in touch with her. Been NC for probably a little more than a month now. It just made me surprised a little I guess and started stirring emotions. I feel that she may try to contact me in the near future but I know I'm not ready.

 

I guess I just needed to vent my feelings since I know all my friends are sick of hearing it and I've made it a point not to talk to any of them about it anymore. I'd still like an explanation from her for total closure, but she has to make the effort not me.

 

I know what I have to do to move on, and I have been doing those things, but I don't know why I'm feeling this way over nothing really.

 

Thanks to everyone who has given me input in the past, this site has been very helpful. I wish I had found it when my break up first happened. It may not have changed the outcome I wanted, but its helped me learn a lot of what not to do.

[heloladies21]

All of your feelings are very normal. Keep at it and you will keep getting better. As for a closure conversation, I feel that it's overrated and won't give you what you're looking for. You make closure for yourself when you make the decision that she can't get you back.