NC question (so sorry long post)

[Hannibal]

Ok so heres my situation

 

she broke up with me last sunday because she wasnt sure about what she wanted. Hey we're young I felt that aswell when I moved back to university but I just thought thats normal and stayed with my girl. So I understand where she is coming from on this subject.

 

Anyways so we slept together for 3 nights after we broke up. We talked about what happened and what is going to happen now but for the most part we just kind of agreed to put it all aside and enjoy our time together.

 

So I left for home on thursday (our 7 month) and she went off to a debate tournement for the weekend. We agreed that this was going to be our weekend to think things over and figure out what to do now.

 

I phoned her thursday night to tell her I missed her (probably a bad idea but its done now) and she said that she missed me so much.

That was at about 8 PM.

 

I went out and had a fantastic night that night with old friends and didn't call or text her or anything after talking to a friend who did the same thing that she did. She told me not to call her and to tell her that I understand and respect that she needs her space to think when she did call and started to talk about us.

 

So yeah I didn't call/text her friday night. Saturday however she called me to tell me that she missed me/ loved me a lot. I told her that I felt the same and that I understood she needed her time to think.

 

She texted me today saying she loves me and I replied saying I felt the same and then she phoned me saying that she missed me again etc. I asked her if she was thinking of us and she said she was. I then proceeded to ask what she was thinking about us and she said that she was thinking about us getting back together. Then I kinda let my emotions run away with me and questioned her more on the subject. This was something I shouldn't have done I know so I called her back soon after to apologize for my behavior saying that I was not giving her her space by doing that. She said I had nothing to be sorry about and that was that.

 

So I get home tonight and as I'm writing this post she calls again. She starts by saying that she misses me so much and again I say I feel the same. She asked if I would love her forever and I replied with the same question to her, she quickly said yes and I said I would aswell.

 

So thats it so far.

 

Now heres what I'm wondering, what do I do?

 

Amazingly I don't feel to crushed by this break up as I initially was.

 

I don't feel that complet NC is needed at this time but I wanted to ask if not calling her and waiting for her to phone and talking to her was an as effective way to make her miss me or should I just stop talking to her all together.

 

Also Can I please have some feedback on what shes doing here? Is she just stringing me along as a safety net or what?

 

She said that she still needs more time and shes not sure if we're going to get back together now or later.

 

Please send replies, I really need all the feedback I can get

[Jjasonn28]

Well, I would think that in this situation, NC is not necessarily your only option. But do give her space. Dont initiate contact, but if she contacts you, maybe get back to her the next day. If you find that she is constantly contacting you, but not getting anywhere.. then go for NC. She may need time to organize her thoughts about you two, and that will be harder for her by having you around. Whether she is conscious of this or not...

[Hannibal]

What do you mean by not getting anywhere?

[Jjasonn28]

I mean if -with limited contact on your part- she continues to contact you via phone or text.. but she isn't getting anywhere in regards to her feelings for you two, then perhaps you should step it up to NC. If she needs time to figure things out, and limited contact isn't helping, then go NC.

[heloladies21]

If you would go No Contact for real (not for 1-2 days at a time and which means ignoring her calls or texts for a while) she would surely come back to you. But I suspect you're not strong enough to do that at this time so things will have to play out naturally and no way to predict what will happen. She's still confused and could go either way on this.

[Hannibal]

Thats what I'm worried about. Is there anything I should do to perhaps sway her towards my side?

[Hannibal]

Please reply, I need lots of help

[heloladies21]

No, there's nothing you can do. Anything you proactively do will pressure her and push her away. You staying in contact with her is giving her emotional support and not giving her any reason to make up her mind. Why would she? The only way she's going to be forced into a decision is if she feels like she might lose you by taking too long.

[Hannibal]

Ok now let me ask you this. If there is another guy she has feelings for, whom she sees quite a bit, is in the picture and I step out what do you think would happen then?

[heloladies21]

If another guy involved at all then it's a done deal. Nothing can happen which will bring you two back together. Drop the case and work on moving on.

[Hawk]

Good advice - soon as there is a hint that someone else is on the scene (even emotionally, not physically) then move on.

[Hannibal]

Thats what I was afraid of.

Could someone possibly tell me why this is an automatic move on?

[Hawk]

Well I just think that you have a situation were another guy is (probably) doing everything that he can to split you up. This is then combined with that wonderful rush that you get in a new romance (thrill of the chase all that sort of stuff). Has just happened to me.

[coooolsome]

Yes, its an automatic move on. Her interest in the new guy is so high that anything you do will just hurt you in the long run. Get out now. No matter what you think you can do to get her back, it wont work. NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL BRING HER BACK NOW. Go NC and move on. She has no reason to think of you once there is another person.

 

If you want her back you will have to go NC and basically wait this out. But ask yourself, how long will you wait? A month, 6 months, a year, 10 years? Do whats best for yourself and move on.