Echo Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 Just wondering...has anyone ever LIED or pretended to be "seeing someone" or in a relationship....to either make an ex jealous..or get a reaction?? Maybe because they were with someone else? Did it work?? Or backfire? Truth??? Link to comment
Nkaleidoscopic Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 I havent done it to anyone, but someone did it to me once. It kinda worked. But in the end his truthlessness kinda killed our relationship + friendship. Link to comment
mysterious one Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 i've never done it but one of my best friends has. she did it for a different reason but the guy apparently still liked her months after they broke up. she did it for a different reason though. this guy was a real jerk an when they broke up they still "talked" and everythign but he would ask her every day " so how's the love life going". she got tired of hearing this so she made up a person and said he went to another school. it made him stop asking but i think it made him realize that he cn't control everything.. or at least that feeling seemed to cross him for atleast a minute..then he went back to being a jerk and keeps telling me he really liked her...... anyways it's a touchy thing it may work but the not being truthfull may end up hurting the issue. Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 well to be honest I did it once,I was in love(or at least at the time I thought I was)and he had a girlfriend and I wanted to see what reaction I would get,maybe that he would be a bit jealous or disappointed,but unfortunately he was very happy for me that "found someone" so it didn't work at all,and now I wouldn't do something like that anymore... Link to comment
Echo Posted November 12, 2005 Author Share Posted November 12, 2005 How do you respond if they tell you they are seeing someone? I mean do you inquire about it? Ignore it? Act casual? I feel that if I act like it bothers me, then it's like showing your hand in poker..they shouldn't know the cards you're holding . I think if they know they can still provoke a reaction out of you, then you are still doing things on THEIR terms...and you're still "waiting" for them. What if they really are just telling you this just to see how you'll react? It's not like you can say..."yeah right"...do you just play along and see where it goes? Or do you just go NC again..because after all IF they are seeing someone else, why are they talking to you?? Thoughts? Link to comment
coooolsome Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 If your ex ever tells you that they have someone, then all you say is something like, thats great. Dont give them the satisfaction, dont let them know that you care. They will tell you either to get you off their back or to see if it affects you. Act like you dont care. Link to comment
Echo Posted November 12, 2005 Author Share Posted November 12, 2005 Thanks Cool... I am talking to my ex again, and am preparing myself in case he tells me he is seeing someone. I don't think I can stomach the thought of being his "friend" and discussing him with someone else. Although I am glad to be talking again...that would hurt too much...right now anyway. I suppose I could tell him I am seeing somone else too...do you think he might see that as me trying to geta reaction from him if I did that? I don't really want to lie..but I'll feel like a loser if he thinks I am still pining for him while he's with someone else...Ugh... Link to comment
coooolsome Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 Echo No, dont lie. Why try to build a new relationship on lies? Have you met any new people? If he asks if you are dating just say that you have met some nice people but you are taking things slowly and just focusing on yourself for right now. Dont go into specifics, let him think whatever he wants to. Sometimes they will ask hoping you are so they can tell you they are also. Who knows whats going on in his head but just take things slowly. Link to comment
RayKay Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 When my last ex and I broke it off we had an agreement we would if asked be honest if we were seeing anyone and it was serious, but we would not discuss details or casual dating or something. We were trying to be friends, and while knew that in that case we had to be honest with one another, did not want to make the other feel bad! There were some slipups in there....and eventually we were both fine with discussing dates, or new relationships but until then when asked, I would just mention I was meeting new people and leave it at that. I did not lie, as it was true, but left the details out. As for him, I would tell him it was good to hear he was having fun...then when I got off the phone be relieved I was not with him after hearing how he saw/viewed these girls! Link to comment
Echo Posted November 12, 2005 Author Share Posted November 12, 2005 My ex isn't the type to be "loud" about his dating life. If he's seeing someone he'd be honest..I THINK. I certainly don't want to hear the details about his love /dating life. RayKay was it your current b/f you maintained a friendship with while you were dating others?If so... How did it evolve into what you have now? Would you suggest an attempt at friendship ? I think he wants that right now...because we just started talking again... Thanks Link to comment
RayKay Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 My ex isn't the type to be "loud" about his dating life. If he's seeing someone he'd be honest..I THINK. I certainly don't want to hear the details about his love /dating life. RayKay was it your current b/f you maintained a friendship with while you were dating others?If so... How did it evolve into what you have now? Would you suggest an attempt at friendship ? I think he wants that right now...because we just started talking again... Thanks No, no, my boyfriend is someone else altogether, and much much MUCH better then my ex I don't know....it depends on you two and what you are comfortable with. It seems to take as much work into a friendship as a relationship sometimes, and it still requires effort from both parts. And there are still highs and lows. I think it is better to be healed and moved on before trying a friendship honestly, otherwise it just prolongs the pain and can even make it worse sometimes. Link to comment
justlookin Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 Ya it happened to me 32 yrs ago.After breaking up with her because of it and N/C I assumed it was true.We reconnected 30 yrs later and the truth came out.She was just trying to make me jealious!We both just sat there dreamed and wondered what how are lives would of been different.We we're soo stubborn.I found it intresting how a few minutes of healthy communication cleared it up 30 yrs later. Good Luck Link to comment
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