Need some suggestions...

[not_invincible]

I haven't been feeling very good for a few years....I'm at a very low point now... I have absolutely no friends to talk to (actually, no friends at all), I can't afford to have talk therapy/medication for depression, I can't talk to my parents, so asking them for help is impossible.

 

I'm extremely shy, plus if I work up the courage to do something, I always fail. Example: this summer I forced myself to join a club, and volunteer at three different places so i could "break out of my shell." After a month of relative fun, I broke my leg, spent 10 weeks on crutches; watching TV, talking to no one, since nobody tried to call me, or email; I was at my parents', so I never had to leave the house for that time (no reason to anyway). Now, as my luck would have it, I'm working a full time job alone in a research lab (it's an after hours job). For 8 hours a day, absolutely no one is around. My equipment keeps breaking, so I can't even work, I spend most of my time sitting there thinking about nothing. It's not this simple; everything I do, something bad happens.

 

I found this site; and was reading the dating forums for something to do; it made me more depressed. There are 14 year olds getting out of 2 year relationships, or asking for sex advice; I've never even touched a girl in my life.

 

In short, I'm such a d*amn failure at everything that I know I would screw up suicide somehow and end up paralyzed or brain dead for the rest of my life. i sometimes had enough strength to get up and do something (last week i signed up at a club, but don't have the courage to go yet), and I need some idiot-proof ideas for things to do. Any ideas, or just a response will help. All I've been thinking about for months is what to drive my car into when I'm on the expressway, or what kind of pills to take with whiskey.

[habitual_loser]

Could try a cooking class?

I don't interact with women at work and I don't have much of a social life where I am, so that's what I'm thinking about. Otherwise it's just going to be me and the left hand for another year or two.^^

[TLC]

Mate,

First of all, be honest. Not EVERYTHING you do ends with disaster.

 

You get back in life what you give out, and right now you are giving out negative vibes.

 

No one can change your life for you - only YOU can. So make a choice TODAY.

 

1) Carry on feeling sorry for yourself, or;

2) Get out there and change your life !!!

 

Your worth the effort ! So come on, get off your butt and start LIVING !!!

[DRGAD]

Hello, not to long ago I was in a situation just like yours. Lonely, never been in a relationship, depressed, friendless and at the end of my rope.

 

I spent of lot of time thinking of ways to end this terrible life I lived. Back then the only people that would talk to me were teachers that nagged me about how I was failing class and when the next assignment was due. Finally I came to a day were I decided to end this life I lived back then. Well when I started to cut, I just couldn't do it. Failed in that to I thought. Well out of total boredom I decided to join a club and being the terribly shy person I was basically sat there and listened to the people yack. Edventualy I started to get a little more sociable because I wanted to change for the better. Next thing I knew I had some close friends, and even a girlfriend and was accepted to college with a c- average.

 

The main thing I would like to tell you is this. Don't kill your self, that is a dead end road and is not a solution. Just think if you actually did kill your self. You would not know how it would have gone. It ends right there. I am extremely glad I did not go though with it. There is just so much I would have missed if I had actually gone though and killed my self. Don't do it, its not worth it, you will miss so much good and awesome things in life.

 

The second thing I would like to tell you is that your going to have to face your problems and fears. Slowly though. A good idea is to focus on making little goals towards fixing the problems, instead of how to stop the suffering.

 

Another thing is, don't worry about what you don't have. It will came in time. As for not having a woman, have you ever looked at nature? You usually will see two birds, or two foxes, two ravens, etc. everything has a mate. And so do you. When will you find her, well you will know that when it happens. Just keep and open mind and be your self, and you will find some one who fits you.

 

Love is sorta like ebay. If your looking for something that's cheep quick and what every one else wants. You can find it easily and in plenty. But if your looking for the real thing, something rare and valuable, its going to be hard, and its going to have a high price. But its worth it.

 

Lastly your are not a failure, for example you found this website, awesome place for help and advice. Probably the best out there. You have a job, there are many people that do not have one, but you found one. Your not a failure. Unfortunately there are no plans for life. Only to live it and learn. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"

 

Best of luck on things and if ever you need and ear or some one to talk to you can IM me any time. Hope things go well for you.

 

Later

[Reilly2856]

Everyone has some really bad times in their life when everything just seems impossible. Even though you feel lilke you've hit rock bottom, think back to some other times in your life when you felt similar thoughts, but was able to get over that hurdle. It's all about perspective. Sometimes, one even has to go visit those less fortunate than them (ie. hospital ward, visit cancer patients, burn unit, watch shows featuring starving children in 3rd world countries...etc) in order to realize that their life is not as bad as it appears. The thing is: we often evaluate our life and successes/failures we experience in relation to those more successful than us. Right there is the problem. No one can be successful or lead a happy life forever. One time or another, you will fall and experience failure....when everything seems lost. It is then that one must have faith and continue to move forward....remember you are not alone. There are countless people all over this world who have similar if not far worse lives, yet they continue to get up each morning and live.

 

Suicide is not the option. Forge ahead. Motivate yourself...don't look onto others to make you feel better, but do that for yourself. When you begin to feel good on the inside (no matter the circumstances in your life), you will project that happiness/acceptance, which will attract more people into your life.

 

But it has to start with you. Believe in yourself, and in a better future to come.

[heart]

Hey man,

 

I'm gonna be as honest as possible and still be compassionate:

 

when you say your worthless, and that nothing good happens,, it wont. I've been where you are, said the same things to myself, and it never gets better that way. You have to try,, you have to try,,please. Dont waste your life away.

 

The biggest problem that people have in life, is thinking that they are victims. It may get you some pity for a bit, but in the long run it gets you no-where. Don't be this way, you have to pick yourself up, please trust me.

 

Let go of any guilt, or bad memories you have, put them behind you. Don't feel bad, you are only human. Live your life, and don't care what anyone thinks. And if you make mistakes(which you will) who cares. There are millions and millions of people that lead selfish, cruel, inconsiderate lives, i know alot of them. And they don't feel as bad as you or I would. forget the past,, don't feel guilt. Just go.

 

there is no more time to waste

 

i hope that you feel better soon

 

feel free to PM if you want, i will be here

[not_invincible]

I know I'm surrounded by opportunities to make myself better, I just can't bring myself to seize any of them (shyness), and this is the most frustrating thing ever. I really am working on feeling good on the inside so I can project it out; it's not easy. I've been attacked for being quiet/reserved so many times, it's pretty hard to feel good. It seems I can only reallly be myself on forums/email, which doesn't really help with real-life social life.

 

I've had volunteer work in a cancer clinic, and in an emergency room and my ultimate goal is to volunteer with an aid organization over-seas; patients I've helped are surprisingly happy even if they're in pain. I've also seen some of the behind the scenes of how the hospital works; it takes weeks to get a machine fixed, people are lazy, some of the nurses are the most miserable people I will ever know of. There are so few people I've met who actually care about the people around them, I just don't feel like meeting new people, because it will make things worse.