am I being dumped?

[quirkyturkey]

I would like some opinions here. The guy I've been seeing, he left my place 9 days ago, we were having sexual problems (read the history of my other posts if you want) it wasn't until that weekend that I found out how much it bothered him. now it's at the surface. He left my place, we were not mad at each other, I thought everything was normal (normal for us), but it has been 9 days and he hasn't called, I have called 4 times, never left a message, but he has caller id. two times I know that someone was on the other line but didn't ansewer my call. so I think either I'm being avoided, or something bad has happened. anyways, it's like such agony to not know what is going on. I'm full of anxiety right now. so I am wondering, what do you all think? do you think I got dumped? should I stop calling? If I call anymore it'll just get embarrassing. should I write a letter? if I do he'll get it the next day.

[Beec]

You might be. I would call him and ask him to call you, leave a message. When you do, express some regret that thigns have not worked between the two of you, and let him know it's a shame. And tell him with a little work you would be great together.

 

His problem may be mostly in his head. As is yours. Ever think of hypnosis tapes. Yours could also be helped with some lubricant.

[RayKay]

I don't know too much of the background of you two...but I am going to say you should probably stop calling him and take it as a "he is not able to face you and tell you what is really going on in his head". I don't think he would just "forget" to call you for 9 days after all. He may be embarrassed....but still you have no idea of knowing this if he won't even respond to you

 

Send him a letter if you wish or leave him a message this time, but it should be a "I am sorry you could not face me letter, and that we did not work out and I wish you the best of luck in your future" letter.

 

I think you deserve quite a bit better then the "phase things out dumping" or whatever this is. Whatever it is, it is not very respectful.

[Jjasonn28]

I think he is embarrassed, and probably feels terrible about himself right now. Guys and sexuality is a COMPLICATED thing. We have egos. And they need to be fed daily. If you care for him, and you know he cares for you, I would call him, and leave him a message. Tell him you miss him, and really want to work on things, together.

 

You arent being dumped, not intentionally anyway. He wants for you two to enjoy eachother sexually... Its just a massive blow to his ego... um excuse the inuendo.

 

JP

[quirkyturkey]

it seems like you are both saying I should break up with him, is that what you're saying? or is it more for saving face, or both?

 

Jjasonn28: you said the same thing my guy friend (nobody my bf knows of course) said. The thing is he didn't express to me that he wanted to work out our problems, he expressed hopelessness and despair and he blamed himself for OUR problem. and if I could've gotten him to open up, I wouldn't be where I am now. how do you get a guy to talk??

 

the reason i think I'm dumped is because don't guys know, when you're intimate with a girl you have to call her every once in awile. 9 days is a long time, 5 is normal, 9 doesn't feel normal.

[RayKay]

it seems like you are both saying I should break up with him, is that what you're saying? or is it more for saving face, or both?

 

Honestly, I think he has probably already done it. I think it's time for you to save face.

[Beec]

I think my suggestion would be ambiguous, but indicate you were ending it or at least acknowledging it was ending. Unless something is done, it is over, isn't it.

[quirkyturkey]

hmm so maybe I should just scribble a little note and slip it in the mailbox. I like your choice of wording, I don't think I would've known what to say, thanks

[WildChild]

I hate to say it but I agree with the other posters that the relationship at least right now is on hold or over I do however think you owe it to yourself to maybe write a letter (non-confrontational) or email indicating your regrets that the relationship ended and that for what it is worth you wish it could work out.