Ladies: ADVICE NEEDED

[southernMAN]

My girlfriend and I had been together for a year and half. The first year -- aside from the usual silly tiffs -- was perfect and magical, something we both remarked on many times. However, both out of college just a year and trying to build our careers, I started contemplating and requesting we talk about how best to manage our careers while also taking the relationship where had agreed we both wanted it to go in a few years: marriage. While I became worried about possibly having to pursue jobs far apart from each other and wanted to map out some kind of plan, she preferred to " just cross that bridge when we get there." I was only trying to look out for our careers, and the relationship as well. My thinking and worrying about the subject -- and trying to talk about it all the time --created some tension and we weren't as happy, which caused her to pull away and into herself at the advice of her mother, who told her she had to "make herself happy." She started going out a lot with friends (majority are guy pals), spending less time with me, along with several other changes that developed -- I got suspicious of what was really going on in this new part of her life. I questioned her about her quick change and if there was someone else. She questioned my trust. One night two weeks ago she was out really late, which is totally unlike the woman I knew. I flipped on her machine and also checked her e-mail once during this 3-month period of change. Found a guy interested that she wasn't exactly telling to cease his comments. She said I invading her privacy, which I admit was wrong, but done to find out things she wasn't telling me. Despite still loving me, she broke it off after that last incident described above, because I was invading her privacy and "acting paranoid." Was I wrong to get suspicious, or can anyone see how the change would cause that?

 

Did I screw up too bad, or after she has some space, is there any chance I can get her back? (Sorry this is so long.) Ladies, a guy who still loves and misses his girl would appreciate your advice...

[cookies]

well, just because she stayed out late one night doesn't equate to her cheating on you. I used to just hop in my car and ride all night long, just listening to music and looking at mansions,...and i totally loved it...no man involved ...

 

so dont be so quick to judge that, neither the email from the guy. You must trust her, altho the best thing for her to do was to let u know, but snooping could be a sign of jealousy and suspicion making its nasty way into ur relatinship via YOU. It seemed as if things were alot better, before this happened, altho u were not on the BEST of terms...

 

Give her a little space, and right now you dont know what to expect from her, but an apology and asking for forgiveness...would be good even tho u may not feel as if you should. I always ask older happily married couples w hats their secret, and they say aWHOLE lot of giving and taking...meaning, sometimes u hafta give in, even with an apology if u dont think u were wrong,,..it keeps the peace, but do talk about how it made u feel..

 

Alot of times we become suspious because we ourselves have done something wrong in the relationship, even if its just possessiveness, jealousy or even cheat on our partners...but it always helps when we learn to submit ourselves, and learn to trust because everything we see or hear isnt always what it appears to be...

 

cookies

[bonesr4dogs]

You are ABSOLUTELY not wrong..Baby...this woman was NOT making you feel loved, safe and happy...you sensed something was going on...your senses were right...sigh...you have to let her go..hard as it is...you deserve to be happy...you should never NEVER feel afraid your woman is cheating...nor should she you... communication and love build a relationship..you had issues you wanted to work on...she was moving in a different direction...Im sorry you got hurt...but please, don't accept any less than you deserve...I pray for your happiness .....xo