Father opposes unexpected change of major in school

[Double J]

Greetings all,

 

Just wanted to know your input on this:

 

My dad is formerly an accountant - now he's involved in real estate stuff. Ever since my early years in high school, he encouraged me and ultimately pushed me into taking accounting courses being offered in school. Reluctantly, I took Accounting I in 11th grade. I did very well, but I wasn't crazy enough about the subject to want to take Accounting II senior year. Initially, I did not pick it, but he was so persistent in getting me to change my schedule to fit Accounting II in that I finally gave in. That year, I joined the school's business club sponsored by my Accounting teacher, won 4th place in district competition and qualified for state. I didn't win at state, but honestly it was a fun and rewarding experience. My teacher recognized me as one of his best accounting students, despite him being a really bad instructor himself.

 

College comes along. I decide to enroll in a two-year college. Of course, my dad kept pressing the issue that I should continue taking accounting, and so I gave in again - I took lower division accounting and ended up winning the Honors award for Accounting in my campus. I was honored. However, for quite some time now, my heart's message was conflicting with that of my mind. My mind said "You can do it - take accounting. Lots of jobs, good money." But my heart said "This isn't for you - You did it because someone pushed you to. Go for something you're good at and that you love." Ever since I was younger, I always had more of a passion for writing than math, but I guess in high school I forced myself to believe that I actually liked math more than I probably did.

 

When it came time to transfer from the two year college to the university, I knew my intended university was going to be tough. They have a big reputation for their accounting program - the classes are very challenging and the university is seemingly building its reputation around that field. I had to study all summer for an entrance exam just to be able to take the FIRST upper level accounting course - that already shows it's not a piece of cake. I passed the test, and i was happy because I had been concerned for days.

 

It all goes downhill from here. People had warned me about the professor I picked - they told me she was horrible and didn't know how to teach. Boy, were they right. Worst teacher I ever had in my life - didn't know how to articulate her knowledge. I found myself frustrated in the class; the teacher, coupled with a big load and a diminishing willingness to continue studying hard for accounting ultimately made me drop the course and change my major.

 

My parents were stunned, as were my sisters. My mom wondered what could have possibly led me to make this drastic decision for 3 days but then she got over it. My dad, as you can expect, expounded on how I had made the worst decision of my life. My sister and cousin are CPAs so you can imagine how much he had stressed networking opportunities.

 

My dad had promised to buy me a car upon completion of my Bachelors, but now that I made this decision, he says he's no longer going to (I feel he wasn't going to buy anything - he's a man of false promises and usually doesn't fall through).

 

It's my view that my dad wanted me to stick to accounting because it's the way HE would have wanted it. He vacillated in college between different majors before finally finding accounting. I also feel that my dad wants to take some sort of credit for my success in life. He was not a good father to my sisters (my parents are divorced) and didn't help them at all, whether financially or through any other means, when they were in college. He didn't want to pay child support for many years and almost wound up in jail. In other words, I feel my dad wanted to realize his dreams and aspirations through my success (he took the CPA once and never passed).

 

Maybe I'm wromg about this but I don't think so. I think he's being completely insensitive to my interests. I'm a normal human being entitled to go through trial-and-error, it happens to all of us. I've been realized for quite some time now that I wouldn't mind doing accounting from a textbook, but not as a real life career. I prefer something that offers more creativity and allows me to show my writing abilities.

 

My dad just doesn't think of it with that frame of mind - he just thinks "get in whatever pays money." And of course, he's biased because he himself took accounting. I know that marketing jobs out there don't pay as much as accounting ones nor offer as many jobs, but at least it's something that interests me more, and that I feel i'd like doing EVERYDAY. I'm also minoring in Psychology, which I find greatly interesting. Ultimately I want to study market research and consumer behavior.

 

So the bottom line is that my dad says I'll struggle if I don't get into accounting, or at least spend many years struggling. If that's the case, I know it stinks, but at least I followed my heart and didn't go under someone else's influence the whole way. I feel I made the right decision.

 

Any comments would be great, thanks.

[Serendipity1607307077]

Hi Double J

 

I think most, if not all parents, want their children to succeed, and quite often want their children to follow in their footsteps, especially if they feel that haven't achieved everything they wanted to when they were younger.

 

I know my mum told me what courses I should do and all that sort of thing.

 

I think you are going to need to break it to your dad - it will hurt him but he will definitely get over it.

 

In the end it's your life, your decision. You should do something you are interested in doing and something that you enjoy doing.

 

Sure, accounting does bring in the money, but there are plenty of other jobs that do as well - becoming a biologist, a lecturer, and so on.

 

You are a grown up now and he needs to recognise you for being an individual.

 

EDIT! I just realised that I wrote my reponse all the wrong way! Gah you know when it's the end of the week eh... I'm really glad that you told your father about your decision, though as I mentioned above, it's your choice in the end and I am sure eventually he will agree that your happiness will override anything he wants you to do..

[DiscipleOfChange]

Frankly, I think you made one of the best decisions of your life. A person goes to college for themselves, not their parents or anyone else for that matter. Wasting several years of your life learning things and preparing for a career you're not interested in is foolish.

 

I think all parents want their children to be independent and follow their own dreams but a small part of them wants their children to be like them. I think it's unfortunate about the car, not because he won't buy it for you but because of the reasons behind his decision.

[ayekasong]

As a person going through a job search right now, I'd like to point out that I've seen several open positions for market research that make a nice sum of money...

 

In the end, it is your life, your decision. Do what makes you happy. We have a good 40+ years of our lives that we have to work. There is no point in going into a field that you will not enjoy. Job satisfaction is very important in the overall quality of your life, so I think you made a very mature decision in doing what is best for you and not what your father wants.

 

My parents weren't thrilled with my choice and changes in my major, but they got over it. Your father will, too, especially when he sees how much money people make in market research.

[BellaDonna]

So the bottom line is that my dad says I'll struggle if I don't get into accounting, or at least spend many years struggling. If that's the case, I know it stinks, but at least I followed my heart and didn't go under someone else's influence the whole way. I feel I made the right decision.

 

At the end of the day- it's you and only you (not your father) who has to come home from work and decide if you enjoyed your day at work or not. Your career choice can leave you happy or miserable. If you're heart is not in this then don't do it.

 

Maybe I'm biased- because my parents and grandparents always pressured me to go into a different field instead of psychology/counseling, which I adored. I never listened to them and I just did my own thing and got my bachelor's and master's and now I have a great job. They're proud of me now but before this they twisted my eardrum for 6 years with nonsense and lectures.

 

Do what feels right for YOU and live for YOU,

 

BellaDonna

[PavPPZ1]

Believe it or not, highly educated and creative marketing professionals, tend to be more valued in a company then the accountant. The reason for this is that marketing is what drives the business, accounting is responsible for polishing the engine. Both of which are important, but as you seem very determined and on the path to higher education, your choice is perhaps the wiser one, and it will open many doors for you. Regardless to the fact that your family has so many ties in the accounting industry, if you are successful in your field you will find more oppertunities and real genuine value in yourself as a whole in the end.

 

GL