My Time's Up...

[hopeofheart]

The dreaded moment I was painfully trying to avoid came; my parents no longer want me to live with them and with no money at hand, I have to live on streets. A homeless, a bum, a nobody. I have no choice to end my life pretty soon as I can't and wouldn't let myself go through this sh|t. So many things I wanted to do in my life, so many places to see but alas some people weren't meant to last and my time has come. I don't need anybody's support, frankly I can't afford it. All I want to say is that don't torment your children psychologically and emotionally. Maybe they are not srong enough to hack their way through life. Maybe they can't deal with people the way you expected them. Maybe they are not emotionally equipped to deal with the hardship of life. I'm gone but at least for those of you who will have kids, don't treat them like a dirt, don't condescend them to the point where there wouldn't be no self-esteem left in them to go through life. And worst of all I'm still scared; scared of death but I've no choice to go through with it and embrace it as a final solution to end my misery. I wish these soul-crushing feelings upon no one.

[Steven1607307306]

I am really sorry that you feel this way, but I just want you to know that EVERYBODY is a SOMBODY. The way you are feeling is just making it harder. You have to take it upon yourself to go out there and make it work for you. Find a shelter and get a job for a while. Save up some money for school maybe? Life is there for you to live it. I know that you are feeling like there is nothing to do, but just try to make it happen...for yourself, and nobody else. Don't mind me asking but how old are you?

[nsbguy32169]

I agree with the previous poster. There are few things in life that are worse than death. Being out on the streets is not one of them. Is there no one that you know that you could live with?

 

There's so many good things in life that death is jsut not worth it. You only get one chance to live here, that's it. No matter what you believe in, this is your only chance to live life. Don't cut your life short because your family isn't the best group of people. I can't imagine that you really don't have anyone that you can stay with. If you really don't then there are shelters and programs to help people get back on their feet. Just find some kind of force or motivation to drive you... like getting a job and becoming for successful than your parents ever were.. or saving enough money to get your own place... there really are so many options when you think there are none.

 

I'm sure anyone on these boards would be willing to talk to you (including me) if you wanted to. Message someone and talk. Talking always helps. I'm sure anyone here would be glad to help you in any way. Just don't give up already... Please...

[Shadows Light]

Improvise / Addapt / Overcome....

 

NOTHING but NOTHING .. is insurmountable.

 

I will keep your words of wisdom with me. They've touched me. And I agree with you.. its a parents job to build esteem. To build. It takes so little effort to take a building down.. but to build.. Ohh that takes great skill, and great patience. I'm sorry that your parents do not see it that way. And you know... you know.. so I can see that you would NOT make those same mistakes with a child of your own.. given half the chance.

 

Give yourself a chance. Take life. You have much going for you.. I'm sure you do. Not knowing you.. I'd say that you've got something more than 60% of the rest of the population on this earth. You can read.. and you can write. And turn on a computer.. enough so that you can find a wonderful place like ENOT.... I'd say you've got a thing or two more than you think. And you've got a bit of hutzbah under your butt.. you can do it.

 

You can get up.. and keep fighting for LIFE another day. Right now.. you just need a bit of regrouping. Its not as bad as you think. SERIOUSLY.. its surely not all that bad. It can be overcome.

 

So.. you think you'll be homeless... OK.. I'm assuming you have no close friends or relatives to go to for a few weeks. OK.. go to a shelter. Thats what they are there for. They will HELP you. All you have to do is reach out.. and take a hand. OR ask for it. THATS IT.. nothing more.. JUST REACH OUT.

 

Please write back and PM one of us. There are many people here... who have felt the same way .. one way or another. WHY .. just this time last year.. I had some of the very same thoughts you did. SCARY.. yeah.. I was scared. BIG TIME. And thats a good thing.. because a year later.. the picture is so much different...and I can see where I was.

 

What did I do??? I picked up the phone and called 9-11. And I talked to someone. And after I'd been suffiicently calmed down.. people helped me to see that I had options. I always have options. And so do you.. you always have options... DYING.. is not an option. LIVING.. ahhh now theres a challenge. LIFE is so much worth it. IF you'd just allow yourself to think in the positive. TURN THAT NEGATIVE tape off.

 

Sure your parents are mean.. sure they are pushing.. sure they may have screwed up. LOOK>.. all the things that you said you had problems with.. did you ever think that maybe your parents have problems parenting too..and they are learning and struggling along the way. They probably learned behaviors from their parents... and I'll be that there was no esteem building within their original pods. Sooooo turn that negative tape off... and lets start by .. figuring this out... together.

 

PM me... please... or if you are in dire dire straights ... please do what I did.. choose LIFE..and dial 911... actually.. they'd be the best first step to helping you out. Are you with me???? tell me we can figure this out... lets talk about it....

[hopeofheart]

Sometimes I feel the metallic taste of death in my mouth; I reach out but there is nothing there, I can't swallow it and I can't puke it out. It's as if having the anticipation of grenade exploding in my throat. I don't wish such mental and physical anguish upon anyone. Thank you Shadow for your words of encouragement; they lit up my heart like a candle in a dark cave. My toes and fingers are frigidly frozen and I'm writhing in this perpetual agonizing involuntary twitches at the back of my neck. Never revealed this secret to anyone but last summer I had a mini-heart attack which the doctor diagnosed when she performed nuclear medicine test on me. I never followed up on her recommendations for further treatments. I've had a few localized chest pain in the last few weeks to the point that made inhaling a stabbing experience. I wonder if I should let the fate take care of my despair. I don't think I've it in me to write anymore for tonight. I wish I was stronger than this...

[nsbguy32169]

Talking to someone can give you strength... think of all the people on these boards that would be willing to talk to you...

[whatfor]

hi hopeofheart,

i am sorry you are feeling so bad. I know many of us have been there, some are there now. Every one of us has problems, always, its life i guess, i have many, things that put me down and stress me.

I just wanted to say if you need a friend you can pm anyone of us

I wish you all the best.

[Shadows Light]

Hopeofheart... have you been eating and sleeping??? getting enough nutrition?? If you don't eat and sleep it disturbs your thought patterns.

 

What did the doctor recommend last year when you went in for a check up??? Did she put you on medication??

 

The metalic taste could be that you are Iron Deficiant. It would explain the cold in your feet and hands and twitches in you nervous system. You really need to eat more regularly and take your vitamins. You'd feel tonz better and be able to "think" through this puzzle a bit more clearly.

 

I've been there.. when I get depressed. I forget to eat. And I don't sleep well. And its down hill from there.

 

Nothing is really as bad as it seems. When you think you HIT rock bottom.. well there is only one way to go.. UP BABY. Just pick your self up. Start with the basics. Go get something to eat. Take a shower. Put on clean clothes. And get some rest. Tomorrow morning.. Get into that shower again.. get dressed.. and EAT. This time..get your bucket off that computer chair and go outside for a walk.

 

Have you even noticed the beautiful leaves outside. The world is brilliant with colors this time of year. Its amazing. There's this park I love to walk through.. and walking down the lane seems like walking through veils of GOLD. Absolutely breathtaking.

 

Go outside.. and really open your eyes.. take in a deep breath. Go for a short walk. Come back and write down everything you have seen.. and how it made you feel. Date it. If you can accomplish that.. just that one teeny tiny thing for the day.. Shower, dress, eat, go for a walk, rest...

You will have made a HUGE HUGE HUGE.. step. Just that one thing.

 

How are you fixed for health insurance??? well.. there are free clinics everywhere. Give yourself a few days.. and make an appointment. Just a quick looksee... check your iron levels. Got any ASPRIN around the house??? Regular asprin... it wouldn't hurt you to take one a day. Until you went and got checked again.

 

Small steps hope.. Thats all it takes. And I know you want to.. its in your name.. HOPE. You still have HOPE.. I know you do. Don't beat on yourself so much. Its ok. We all trip up.. we all fall.. and guess what??? we get back up again.

 

So what do you do in your spare time?? listen to music?? read??? what are you listening to these days?? what have you been reading??? Just curious.. I'm always looking for new music to try out.. and new reading material. So if you can make any reccomendations... drop me a line.

[hopeofheart]

I doesn't matter what she said because I no longer have a health insurance coverage. Frankly, I can't afford it like other 48 million Americans. The metallic taste I mentioned was just a metaphor but I do have an acute anemia and the level of hemoglobin in my body fluctuates occasionally. And the reason I run out of breath 5 times faster than a normal person and melocules can only acquire a miminal amount of oxygen. by the way, free clinics are in Canada and Europe, and I don't have a citizenship in any of those regions.

 

You have no idea how many times I've sat at the table and had to turn my head away from everyone to hide the accumulated tears in my eyes. You know in our fast paced world, sometimes I get the feeling I'm the only one who's paying attention to paltry seasonal metamorphosis of nature; but I don't want to hold on to these moments too tightly.

 

You know what I do when I come home from work? I read. I frantically read as many technical articles, documents, or books I can get my hands on... In utter otiose. Hoping someday it would come handy in my hiring process and I know in my heart that day may never in fact come. What kind of loser doesn't find a job a year after graduation? That's my hope you were asking.

 

Funny thing you asked about music. It pains me to see all these tracks I've collected selectively over the years would go to waste since when the day comes, I have no choice to destory all my harddrives. I wish I could share them with someone because I know it would touch his/her heart and soul.

 

Thank you Shadows for talking to me.

[Shadows Light]

It doesn't matter what she said because I no longer have a health insurance coverage.

Humor me.. PM me and let me do some hunting in your region. I like a good puzzle.

 

sometimes I get the feeling I'm the only one who's paying attention to paltry seasonal metamorphosis of nature; but I don't want to hold on to these moments too tightly.

Nope. You are not the only one who notices these things. Its a gift. Take it. Enjoy it. And from time to time.. see if you can share the gift and open someone elses eyes.

 

 

You know what I do when I come home from work? I read.

 

ahhh so you do have sometype of employment. GOOD. And I'm glad you are reading. Now pick up something light and fun to read. I read technical manuals to... heck, I write them.. "BLAH!!" You need to entertain your mind a bit more. Flex it.

 

What kind of loser doesn't find a job a year after graduation?

ohhh so now I'm a loser am I???? LOL. BOWING or Curtseying which ever the case my be. Heck.. you're ok. You do know you are NOT the only one to not have found a job after graduating right??? what was your field of study?? Maybe.. just maybe you need to expand your search. You do know.. the secret right???? well.. just because you got a 4 yr accounting degree.... shhhhhhh it maybe that you won't find a job in that field and if you do.. you won't like REAL ACCOUNTING.. cause.. man, book learning is WAY WAY different from REAL WORLD.

I know a guy.. who has a marine biology degree.. and he he he lives in a land locked state!!!! Whats with that??? He found ajob in finance.. go figure. And another guy.. he's got a degree in psychology.. and he's in the techy science field. YOUR DEGREE MEANS.. you are a Well read.. well rounded individual who has the "capacity to learn" thats all it is... sooooo... expand your search.

 

Funny thing you asked about music. It pains me to see all these tracks I've collected selectively over the years would go to waste since when the day comes, I have no choice to destory all my harddrives. I wish I could share them with someone because I know it would touch his/her heart and soul

. Send it to me!!!!! LOL. Ohhhh why would you do that. destroy your beautiful music. That would be a pity.

 

So.. how was your day??? did you take a shower, get dressed, have a meal, and go outside?????? Did you see the leaves today??? OMG they are just gorgious. Stunning. Golden. Beautiful. LOL. Well.. I guess that depends on which part of the country you live in. So.. did you get out there???? and.... what did you see??? what did you think???? apart from doom and gloom... the assignment was to let in some light. Tell me.

[hopeofheart]

*sigh* I wish I could just leave the post here as I feel the deepest void in my heart. One thing I chrished during cold days of sweet autumn is a warm and steamy morning showers. It is the best thing next to my pillow which over the years has indiscriminately comforted my face night after night. It's sad the closest object to you is your pillow, piteous or not, that's all I got.

 

My employment consists of open slavery for my father and making less than a bum on the street. Sort of work where your emotions and integrity is ripped to shreds, walked all over, defecated on, and dishonorded with constant obloquy and condescendence. One of these days he'll find my lifeless body hanged in one the basement of his half-built houses, swinging to the wirlwind of despair.

 

I know why I went to college for and my major is specific as far what sort of career I should be pursuing. Software development is not another liberal art major. I know coming strong on this issue for someone in my emotional status can be addling to others. Having a phone interview after work is never pleasant which I may add was very stressful and nerve wrecking. Especially if it comes out more of an attempt to network do some basic inquiries from a total stranger. After which, I hold my head in my hands and wishing I was dead.

 

Shadows, I will PM you one album despite the fact I would rather to talk in open forum but circumstances wouldn't allow me.

[Shadows Light]

Thank-you hope.. I've just logged on quickly to check messages and here you are again. AND thanks for the ALBUM.. I'll take your advice and listen to it when I'm relaxed and can give it the attention that its due. AND I'll let you know what I think. LOL. Am sooo looking forward to listening to something NEW.. your descriptor of it sounds magical. Right up my allay!!! how did you ever know???? sixth sense???

 

And hey.. Don't knock your pillow!!! I happen to love my pillows.. they are awesome .. have a few on my bed. When I was a kid.. I remember, we didn't have air conditioning. And in the summer time, I'd scootch my hands under my pillow.. and it would feel soooo cool underneath. And in the winter time.. after a spell, it would feel so warm and comfy.

 

I can't imagine working for your dad if he's that ANGRY and MISERABLE of a person can be so much fun. Why do people who are miserable have to transfer and project onto everyone else. Its as if every living thing just withers within thier presense. Energy Vampires I call them. Yeah.. I could not imagine working for MY DAD. My father was a tyrant. He thought college was a waste of time. He thought that I should be working in a factory like him. If it was good enough for him.. wasn't it good enough for me.???? Did I think I was better than he was?? Fortunately.. I didn't have to work for Dad or I'm sure that my self-esteem would be down in the drek like yours is right now.

 

You know the drill. I can tell you and I can tell you to pick yourself up. And to keep picking yourself up. But unless you want it. Unless you crave it. Unless you feel it in every fiber of your being ... what ever I say is going to drift in the wind.

 

I so love platititudes. LOL. But you know what.. sometimes.. they help maintain focus. And the one that comes to mind for you...

"THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL...."

 

The best revenge is not hanging by a rafter off scoffolding in a half finished house. Yikes, you are graphic. I used to spend many a summer day tucked up in the rafters of a half finished house reading.. and your descriptor brings on a strong visual.. THANK-YOU!!! .. LOL. As I said.. the best revenge.. is not that way darlin.. its living well.

 

I have a good good friend who gave me a mantra.. and if I keep saying it to myself.. I figure out a way. "IMPROVISE / ADDAPT / OVERCOME" its easy to lay down and die.... wallow. But its a hell of a challenge and a lot of FUN.. if you get spunkie with it. And work it. keep working it. And keep being stubborn about it. Don't let them WIN. Don't let anyone WIN. You just put your head into the wind right now.. batton down the hatches, and you just keep walking through it.

 

Winston Churchill Said.. If you are walking through hell.. KEEP WALKING.

 

Glad you are still with me hope.. and thanx for the music.

 

By the way... HOT HOT HOT showers in the middle of winter.. now those are awesome.. LOL.

[hopeofheart]

I don't know why I'm having a trail of nightmares every night. Waking up a dozen times during the night, feeling my head being pricked by a thousand needles... My soul is being pulled out my existence... I remember the last chapter of Victor Hugo's Les Miserables where Jean Valjean is lying on his death bed with the daughter by his side, the doctor announces, "Something inside of him has died. He's not going to make it." I feel the same... I couldn't help not to post this poem I came accross last night.

 

 

Version 1:

I went to a party, and remembered what you said.

You told me not to drink, Mom, so I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself, the way you said I would,

That I didn't drink and drive, though some friends said I should.

 

I made a healthy choice, and your advice to me was right,

The party finally ended, and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car, sure to get home in one piece,

I never knew what was coming, Mom, something I expected least.

 

Now I'm lying on the pavement, and I hear the policeman say,

"The kid that caused this wreck was drunk," Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's around me, as I try hard not to cry,

I can hear the paramedic say, "This girl is going to die."

 

I'm sure the guy had no idea while he was flying high

Because he chose to drink and drive, now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom, knowing that it ruins lives?

And now the pain is cutting me like a hundred stabbing knives.

 

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom, tell Daddy to be brave,

And when I go to heaven put "Mommy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have taught him that it's wrong to drink and drive.

Maybe if his parents had, I'd still be alive.

 

My breath is getting shorter, Mom, I'm getting really scared

These are my final moments and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me, Mom, as I lie here and die,

I wish that I could say, "I love you Mom!"

So I love you and good-bye.

 

 

Version 2:

went to a party Mum, I remembered what you said,

You told me not to drink Mum, so I drank soda instead

I really felt proud inside Mum, the way you said I would

I didn't drink and drive Mum, though the others said I should

I know I did the right thing Mum, I know you're always right

Now the party is ending Mum, and they're driving out of sight

 

As I got into my car Mum I knew I'd get home in one piece

Because of the way you raised me - responsible and sweet

I started driving away Mum but as I pulled onto the road

The other car just didn't see me and he hit me like a load

 

As I lay here on the pavement Mum, I hear the Policeman say

the other guy is drunk Mum and I'm the one to pay

I'm lying here and dying Mum, I wish you'd get here soon

How could this happen to me Mum, my whole life's burst like a balloon

 

There is blood that's all around me - and most of it is mine

I hear the medics say Mum I will die in a short time

I just wanted to tell you Mum I swear I didn't drink

It was the others Mum, the others, I was them who didn't think

He was probably at the same party as I -

The only difference is he drank - and I'll die

 

Why do people drink and drive Mum, it can ruin your whole life

I'm feeling sharp pains now, pains that cut me like a knife

The guy who hit me is walking and I don't think that is fair

I'm lying here and dying and all he can do is stare

 

Tell my brother not to cry Mum - Tell Daddy to be brave

And when I go to Heaven, put "Daddy's Girl" upon my grave

Someone should have told him Mum, Not to drink and drive

If only they had told him - Perhaps I'd be alive

 

My breath is getting shorter now, and I'm becoming very scared

Please don't cry for me, Mum when I needed you - you were there

I have one last question though before I say 'Good-bye'

"I didn't drink and drive Mum so why am I to die?"

[Shadows Light]

Where is my HOPEOFHEART??????????????????? where did he go.. come one talk to me.

 

The ENOTS changed on me.... are you as lost in the woods as I am trying to find your way around. Come on HOPE... Need to hear that heart beat.. tell me something good. Help me to smile today... please...

[hopeofheart]

It's strange. Haven't checked on here for a week and just randomly decided to log on and see youf reply. I cannot explain my feelings; I don't think I got any left. It's an uncanny and errie sensation I am having, just like the time after my second suicide attempt. Last Friday my dad pretty much hammered me emotionally at job and when I came home I was treated with another wave of insults which ended up with my mother throwing my clothes on the floor kicking them around threatening to oust me from the house. I just stood there and said nothing in despair. It's not as if I do drugs, drink, hang out with mischeifs, or engage in some sort of criminal activities, none. They just can't stand seeing their kid not being smart enough to find a job beside being dragged like a slave everyday to do his dad's job. That's my crime.

 

I go out sit in my car just out of the blue decide to go out to the cliff site and finish where I left off last year. Half way there I could no longer hold myself so pulled over at some secluded road and wept. Wept for my existence; felt so sick that started puking. Is there anyone out there? Just like the last time, I got so emotionally drained and physically exhausted that I passed out just to wake up in the middle of night not knowing my where about. I wished I could cough up blood but I wasn't sure whether go ahead with my plan or come back to this hell. Does anyone know what it feels like to be me? I came home the next morning finding my parents gone to some out of town trip. They'll come back tonight.

 

These are as well be my last breath. Don't know what the future holds. I may not be here by the end of this week. Does anyone know what it feels to step on the edge of a cliff waiting for your knees to give up at any moment. You try to inhale but your lungs refuse. You no longer can feel your heart pounding in your chest. Voices are gone and your eyes are blood-shot. I just can't believe these are might be the last days of my life... This might be it!

[MetallicAguy]

Things will get better. Hey at least you went to college. I'm most likely not going to be I've already screwed my grades. So at least you accomplished SOMETHING with your life. Killing yourself is an irreversible, incoherent mistake. You will be banished to hell first of all which the pain will be appalling compared to the pain you're going through at the moment...and the worst part is that its for eternity , you're sure you want that? Secondly, people that actually do care about you will be depressed. People that you thought didn't even know you existed, maybe some person that secretly has a crush on you. You never know really. I think you should get into poetry. I think you should write out your feelings on a piece of paper it's very therapeutic and should help you out.

[Shadows Light]

Hey... I got it.. the AVATAR.. its from a Tarot deck!!!! which one??? can't place it. The card you chose for yourself is the "HANGED MAN" Ruled by Water... coming OUT of the death process or going into one. Matrix represents societies rules. Pinned down & trapped ( voices) -Sacrifice something to get something - Card of burned out/ or being burned out.

 

Ever read the fools journey???? by the time the fool gets to the HANGED MAN CARD.. he's undaunted, the fool pushes on. He is determined to realize his vision, but he finds life is NOT so easily tamed. Sooner or later, he encounters his personal cross - An experience that seems too difficult to endure. This overwheming challenge humbles him until he feels he has no choice but to give up and let go.

 

At first, the Fool feels defeated and lost. He believes he has sacrificed everything, but from the depths, he leanrs an amazing truth. He finds that when he relinquishes his struggle for control, everything begins to work as it should. By becoming open and vulnerable, the fool discovers the miraculous support of his INNER SELF. He learns to surrender to his experiences, rather than fighting them. He feels suprising joy and begins to flow with LIFE.

 

------->

 

Very very cool card. At least in my deck. This one.. hmmm I know I've seen it before. Where did it come from???

 

You know from chaos is born genius... lol..

 

I think your parents are pretty screwed up. If they can't "SEE" what you are going through. Don't belittle or begrudge them.. they maybe caught up too much in their own "PERSONAL" drama with each other.. and the DANCE of marriage.. that they are near sighted. They can't "SEE"... who was it that said.. If they have eyes.. they will see. If they have ears they will hear. LOL... well, sometimes people just choose the wrong way.. they choose to be blind and deaf.. because of they didn't.. they may be held "accountable" and "atonable" for their own.. doings and insecurities.

 

Now... you Hopeofheart.. have hope.. have promise.. have tonz of stuff going for you. Just gotta give yourself a bit more credit.

 

What did your dad yell at you about last friday. And why would your mother be throwing clothes all over the place for??? tell me about it..

 

Ah yes... you hurt your hand... well.. that would prevent you from writing back to me then wouldn't it. Now... if it hurts to much for you to type.. how am I supposed to talk to you??? hmmm? Well.. do me a favor. Get better soon. Soak that hand in some warm water and apple vinigar. it takes the swelling out. Get better and be here to talk to me about that CD I am downloading... I expect to be able to talk to you about it. Please.

[Shadows Light]

Hopeofheart... talk to me.... tell me something good today.

[Bethany]

No one is going to help you, no one is going to make the pain go away, no one is going to stop the depression from eating you up and robbing you of your will to live. NO ONE But YOU.

YOU have to find the way out and YOU need to WANT to get out, and until you want it badly enough to seek help...... you WILL stay there.

Face your feelings, face your life and more importantly... face your fear. Accept the condition your in as chronic and sometimes acute depression and decide to get help, decide to look for 'yourself' and your symptoms online or go to a doctor and let them help you. Decide to change your life, decide to think positive things and start again.

Depression is a killer, don't let its pain and the negative thoughts bluff you into thinking that you can never get out because you can. Make that positive step in the right direction.

[hopeofheart]

I'm tired, really tired. Don't know if I can take this any longer. I keep bouncing in this state of delirium. There is no way out. Someone please close this thread. I don't think if I ever want to come back. I wasn't meant to last.

[Bethany]

Don't be a loser to depression. You KNOW there is a way out and still you sit in your own misery. Look for a way out and stop yourself wallowing in your own self pity. Life's a b*tch and then you seek help.

[Shadows Light]

HOPEOFHEART... what the heck!!!! STOP sitting in the MUCK and get moving!... You didn't fight through 4 years of college for nothing. Do you know how very fortunate you are to be given the PRIVILAGE of attending university. The privilage of being intelligent... articulate... well read!!! You are a LOT smarter than this. GET UP!!!

[darkblue]

I'm not going to sit here and lecture to you 'why you should stay alive'.

All I'm going to say is that by taking your life, you will never know what you could have acomplished.

Which, based on what I know of you, could potentially amount to great things.

 

You have had a bad start to an unknown future.

Give up now; and you will never know.

 

Work with us, and you will have the chance.

I haven't given up on you, neither has anyone here - so why are you giving up on yourself? On hope? On the future?

A future death will follow accordingly, but you want to cut that short?

 

What have you got to lose by trying? Attempting to conquer your suffering?

 

I can only pledge not to quit on you, if you do the same for yourself, hopeofheart.

 

Think about it.

[Shadows Light]

As you can see Hope.. I'm not givng up on you either.

I've had the CD downloaded for me.. give me a chance to listen to it,

enjoy it.. and be able to discuss it with you. Will you?

[darkblue]

I downloaded the album - very soothing.