they dont care... and it tears me up - literally

[deviousj420]

ima 24 yr old female - i go to college for nursing, have an 8 yr old son and dont drink or do drugs, i stay outa trouble and focus on my son and my boyfriend

 

My father left before i was born, my mother had me when she was 17, when i was 4 i remember the cops coming and taking her away.. She moved out of the house and i was raised by my grandmother. I saw her on the weekends then when i was 12 she moved to South Carolina and that summer i went to visit her, after that i never heard from her again. She still calls here to talk to my grandma and the two of them have a good relationship - She doesnt even aknowledge me tho , if i answer when she calls she asks for her by her first name..

 

Whatever... thing is timmy, heidi and martha dont love me or even like me. Timmy was nice to me when i was young, i gave my grandma a hard time growin up but i was a troubled youth... despite all i am trying to do with my life every time i make a little mistake it is blown way out of porportion and i end up crying like i am, so upset that the family i was bron into doesnt even care.. my grandma is nice to me as long as no one is around, though when she talks to someone else she only has negative comments on how i dont do this or how i screwed sumthin up yet again....

 

If they are suppoed to be my family why do they this? I dont care that heidi left, i never really knew her to care... my grandma has raised me since birth and i still live with her, despite all my past mistakes i am trying hard with well seen effort yet im still overly critisized for my faults

 

This hurts so bad, why do they do this? what do i do to stop feeling liek this... i am nice, im not mean, i dont talk horrible because deep inside all i want is for them to accept me, heidi had me when she weas 17 - am i just an unwanted part of this family? i love my son dearly and could never imagine anyone ever treating him in the way ive been treated

 

I guess im just venting tho im looking for advice, opinions, sumthin - this really tears me up inside and liek know when it comes out it comes out hard

[RandomAdvisor]

There are any number of reasons why they don't treat you well. Maybe they don't even know for certain why. It's possible you are a reminder of failure to them. Teen pregnancies have been on the rise for years and becoming more and more acceptable. But 24 years ago at the beginning of the 80's? Not socially acceptable. Your grand parents are from a very different generation, and they may have felt a lot of shame when their daughter had a child at such a young age. If so, it's possible their anger about it has been unfairly placed on you. On top of that, they had to raise you.

 

That could be it, but there's no way to be sure. Even if it is, it's unfair of them to treat you poorly. Why do you continue to live with your grandmother if she is disrespectful? If you're financially capable of moving out, I think you should.

[deviousj420]

well im living here because i bought a new car and cant afford that and insurance along with rent - plus its helpful to have someone here while i run to acme or get my hair cut or sumthin, so i dont have to bring him along since he doesnt like to go anyways...

 

She kicked me out when i was 18, i had to stay ata friends fora month till i found a place of my own - Then she offered me to move back in to help me save money - then timmy argues with her that is houldnt be livin here.... it drives me mad - literally - its so much more than i can take...

 

But financially i have no choice...

[RandomAdvisor]

Is a car 100% absolutely positively necessary for you?

 

Regardless of what's happening with your family, or anything else for that matter -I always advise everyone to get rid of their car or reduce their usage significantly if at all possible. This is getting a little off topic, but oil depletion is a passion of mine. I was exposed to the concept of "Peak Oil" in february of last year when I was in the early stages of getting a car myself. I was looking around at cars and trying to get my license. After I found out about PO, I bought my self a bicycle.

 

I don't talk about it with too many people though because no one believes it. They don't believe it because they don't want to. I tried to talk to my father about it and he literally laughed about it. That was august of last year. At the time I made a number of of predictions about where oil and gas prices would go, all of which have proven true in the last year.

 

The price of oil and gasoline are going in only one direction long term - up. This winter is going to be a big wake up call nationally. This winter more people will probably freeze to death in their homes nationwide than the total number of people killed by the hurricanes this past summer. But enough about oil...you can PM me if you want to know more about it. Bottom line is you probably wont be able to afford to drive your car before the end of 2007 anyway.

 

As for the current situation, I get the feeling they want you out of the house.

[deviousj420]

i havea son that goes to school and a job and college that all require transportation and as this is my first car i will not give it up because it is a necessity..

[RandomAdvisor]

I'm assuming you don't have any public transportation as an alternative. Public transportation in the United States is an absolute joke. If your commute distances are relatively short (I commute 15 miles to work each way on the weekend, and 5 miles each way to school) then maybe you could take up cycling to save money. Otherwise, your situation at home wont change until your financial situation does.

[babycristy456]

Why don't you take the initiative and call up your mother and talk to her. I think if you don't, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Its better to make a mistake than to go throughout life wondering "what if?"

 

The worse that ill happen is that she won't talk to you. It will hurt for a while but then you will also feel satisfied for doing something honorable. If you make ammends with her, maybe your entire family will also start to appreciate you more. Talk to your other family members as well. If you don't normally communicate your feelings with them, that might be the reason they "forget" you are family. Make sure they don't forget you are part of their blood and have feelings too.

 

If you made mistakes in the past with your grandmother, apologize if you have not done it yet. Im sure she will appreciate an honest apology.

 

Well good luck with all of that and hope it goes well.