What does this mean?

[Jetta]

Okay I went to the bank to change my address and Rob the banker comes up and says "Do you remember me?" I said "Yes I remember you." Of course I never said his name, and I do know it but for some reason I just never said it. Then he seemed grumpy and I metioned that he looked a little rough and asked if he went out last night. He said no he was working the last 6 days and about to go home in 10 minutes. Later he stood at his desk giving me the full frontal. He then said that it looked like he wouldn't be my banker anymore but I could call him with questions anytime. We had a bit of a conversation while there, but most of the time he seemed really aggitated like he was mad at me or something.

 

Is he really interested or what? And what can I do to show interest in him?

[ElektraHere]

I have read some of your posts lately. It seems you are looking at very small things and thinking that either a person is coming on to you or they may like you. Not to sound mean but you seem to be seeking something from others like acceptance or the need to know you are "viable." You need to start using your common sense and not seek so much from others. Independence is a great great feeling.

 

If the banker was interested he would of said so. He knows who you are and he could look up your info if he really wanted to get a hold of you. If he was grumpy don't take it so personal not everything is about you he could of just been tired and needing a break from work.

[Jetta]

I did say to him he looked a little rough and asked if he went out last night. He said no and asked if I really wanted to know. I said yes and he went into how he's worked 6 days this week and various other things that were going on. I just thought it was unusual that he'd ask if I remember him. And wondered if that was an interest showing thing.

 

And no I haven't just jumped from relationship to relationship. I was single for 10 months after my 1st divorce, and still didn't want to be involved. But my most recent ex kind of pestered me until I gave in, and my friends and family were pushing us together because they thought it would be good for me to get back out there and he seemed like a nice guy.

 

I know in my heart if I am or am not ready to date. I really don't need people telling me their opinion about it. What I asked was if this guy is interested and what can I do to show some interest in him without coming on too strong.

 

BTW my ex husband has been giving me dating tips. Does that tell you anything about the kind of relationship we have? There is no love between us, we have been roommates who have sex really.

[annie24]

I do agree with what elektra is saying. I don't think 10 months between relationships is a very long time to be single.

 

He then said that it looked like he wouldn't be my banker anymore but I could call him with questions anytime. We had a bit of a conversation while there, but most of the time he seemed really aggitated like he was mad at me or something.

 

I say this only because I want to help you out, but not everything is about you. He may have been agitated because he had a bad day, has a huge deadline, he just came home last night and found out his gf was cheating on him, etc etc etc. It doesn't sound like you did or said anything to upset him, so don't jump to the conclusion that he was agitated because of anything you said or did. Furthermore, you said the he said he may not be your banker anymore. It sounds like he may get laid off, or get transferred to another branch, or have his responsibilities at the bank changed. That could have very easily been the source of agitation.

 

I think from the info you've given us, there isn't any overwhelming evidence that he's interested. Sounds like he was just doing his job. Not saying that he isn't interested, just that from what you've written, there's no "red flag" saying that he's interested.

 

You have to remember that men and women in service jobs are nice because that's part of their job description - being nice to the clients. Now, if your banker were to say, "let's get some lunch sometimes this week," then that, I would take as a sign of interest. "Call me if you have questions" just sounds like professional courtesy.

 

Bottom line: Don't read into things too much.

[RayKay]

I have to agree with others Jetta, I do think sometimes you read too much into some things!

 

Maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he lost a big account, maybe he had only 4 hours of sleep, or is coming down with a cold, or hates his job, or has as sick family member...who KNOWS.

 

Does it really matter, he's your BANKER. Or rather WAS your banker. If a man is interested in you he would ask you out, or probably be a little friendlier and try to get to know you, rather then saying "I am not on your account anymore".

 

I mean there is nothing you did that would agitate him from what you have said, right?

 

There is no outright sign there that there is any interest, or any evidence of such interest.

 

Now if YOU are interested in him, then maybe call him or talk to him but it would be best to at least have some signs of interest from him before that, and it does not seem as if those were present.

[PavPPZ1]

He is interested give him a call, he did just enough to get you to think that, now you should act on it, he will love it. By doing so you will spark something in him.

 

Good luck

[Jetta]

Well my friend seems to think he's interested. Most bankers don't ask if you remember them. He also said he really wants me to have on-line access to my account. Now that's an usually way to recommend a bank feature IMO. He also told me he has no credit card debt and is working on building his savings account. Oh and he owns a house in a specified neighborhood. Now maybe he just is an open book type of person, but this does seem to be a lot of info. to be giving a bank customer.

 

Anyway my friend and ex both recommend I call him to ask some bank questions next week. My friend says I should make an extra trip in the bank, however she advises I save him for later and date a few other guys first. She says I can't date him yet because I'm interested and you have to have rebound guy or two. Which by her definition is a guy I'm not really interested who takes me out at least once. Plus she knows he's watching my spending habits right now.

 

I didn't mention here that I'm moving to a different town which is why he wouldn't be my banker anymore. He said that switching branches wasn't easy and then mentioned where he lived. I didn't really feel the need to go through the entire conversation as my questions didn't pertain to that. I was asking about a couple of specific things because that is what I was curious about.

[PavPPZ1]

dont ask bank questions, be honest you are curious abotu him. Just call to say hi, its "name" and tell him you wanted to call and see how he was doing, maybe get together sometime

 

why not go with your true feelings?

[PavPPZ1]

dont listen to that friend, she is giving you some pretty pointless advice.. why waste time with anotehr guy... go for him right now, plus dont just use other guys... because everything that goes around comes around.. remember that

[Jetta]

Pav,

I'm glad your saying I don't need a rebound guy. I'm really not the type to do that. I usually feel people out first and then decide if I want to get involved. I do have some bank questions to ask him anyway, and right now I'm not quite ready to get serious but I am interested in him. I really prefer if the guy pursues me but I am wondering if there's a way to really let him know I'd like to go out with him without actually asking him out myself. Any suggestions?

[PavPPZ1]

Ok, I undertand where you are coming from, but as much as women like confidence in guys. Guys love strong and confident women even more who know what they want and know how to get it. This is the biggest turn on ever, and its so rare. As much as you think it doesnt, infact it puts you into position of control even more.

 

This is my view, good luck!

[Jetta]

I may try but that's a tough one for me. I know he has my cell phone number and I really think he's watching my spending habits. I also think he's divorced with a son (but he only flashed a picture that a child drew).

 

I have mentioned before on this site that I am intuitive, that is why I tend to see things differently. I sensed an energy around him and I know he was harboring some bad feelings towards me, and I do know it wasn't all about me. Yes he was having a bad week and I really think seeing him today happened for a reason. But then I'd have to explain a whole heck of a lot more that I'm just not inclined to do. So I really should just meditate and get my answers that way. But sometimes I like to see what others would say about certain things so I post.

[ElektraHere]

Jetta wrote "I have mentioned before on this site that I am intuitive, that is why I tend to see things differently. I sensed an energy around him and I know he was harboring some bad feelings towards me"

 

 

Im sorry but if you were so "intuitive" then you wouldn't be on here asking if someone was interested but having bad feelings towards you. That doesn't even make sense.

 

In your posts I have read things like getting an apartment and not being sure of it, to lesbians supposedly coming on to you. It seems you are very needy, confused, and seeking approval from everyone. Here on this site and from people in your life. I am not trying to be harsh but come on step out of your "it's all about me" world and utilize some common knowledge. You are a woman in your 30's not a girl in her teens when this is the norm.

 

As Cher said in the movie Moonstruck "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

[Jetta]

Of course it doesn't make sense because I didn't explain the reasons for the bad feelings. But it comes down to... The world is made of energy, thought forms are energy, prayer is energy. People send and receive various forms of energy constantly. And each of us is interconnected so when a positive or negative thought is sent it is felt subconsciously. When an energy connection is broken, that is felt.

 

Anyway I'm moving today.

[annie24]

Why do you think that he had bad feelings towards you? And if you do think he had bad feelings towards you, why would you also think he is interested at the same time?

[ElektraHere]

Jetta did you read what you wrote?? You have your friend and your ex telling you how you should feel and act. FORGET THE BANKER!!! If he has any interest he will seek you out. As for watching your spending habits I am sure he is busy with other things at work then to see where you are shopping and spending your money.

 

As for the whole energy thing. I understand that but if you were getting negative vibes from him then what would possibly make you think he had any interest in you? Move into your new place, fix it up, and just enjoy that feeling of it being yours and not anybody else's. Enjoy this time you have to yourself take up a hobby or take a class. Do something for you and that only YOU make the choice to do not what your friend or ex tell you what you should do.

[ShySoul]

Jetta,

 

In the end what your friend and ex say, what the people on this board say... we can only be voices that state what we think. You are the one who has to decide what it is you want, how you feel. In your heart you know what is best for you, and you know what it is you need to do. You are in intuitive peson, trust those intuitions. When you see a sign, write them out. Then take a break from them for awhile. Come back and look at them again, logically and rationally. Then decide what it is that YOUR heart wants. It isn't about what others think, it is about what you feel is best for you.

 

If you think you are ready to go out again, then go out if you are interested in someone. Different people take different lengths of time to recover. Some people may think you need to wait a year, but that's them not you. It would be one thing if you we're going out the next week and finding dates. But if you think sufficient time has passed, then follow your heart. No one knows how you are feeling inside but you, and you have to do what is best for you.

 

I think the banker is interested. Unless you is an extremely friendly person, a banker normally wouldn't be telling you about HIS lack of credit card debt. He does seem friendlier then a normal banker would get. I don't know the guy, so I don't really know what he is thinking. But the question isn't if he likes you, it's if you like him. Do you want to go out with him? Forgetting what anyone else has told you... how do you feel about him?

 

The bad feelings could well have been from stress. He's mentioned that he works long hours. Everyone has off days and maybe you caught him on one.

 

I like your ideas on energies and intuition and agree with it pretty much. The key is to trust it and find a way to combine that with rational thought. You seem to get these feelings, but then you overanalyze and find another feeling that may contradict it. I'm trying to learn this too. Live in the moment and follow your gut. Don't let others convince you of something, do what you know deep down you need to do.

[annie24]

I think the banker is interested. Unless you is an extremely friendly person, a banker normally wouldn't be telling you about HIS lack of credit card debt.

 

Not necessarily. I think in the Midwest (where Jetta and I are), people are nicer and somewhat more straight forward. I met with a few mortgage lenders last week. One was telling me how hard him and his wife are working to save for their son's college education, and he was asking me a lot of questions about my hobbies. My financial planner tells me about his vacations and stuff. My real estate agent tells me about her husband's funny habits and about her rebellious teenage daughter. I think it's part of good business practice - just getting to know the client.

 

Again - maybe he likes you, maybe he doesn't, but you just can't read into everything.

[ShySoul]

Reading into other people's actions is what people do, we do it all the time. Everyone posting has done the ask same thing countless times in their lives. We do it with random people we meet. We do it with friends and family. So it's perfectly natural and not exactly something that can be stopped. Some may do it more then others, but we all do it.

 

We can't say for sure that he is interested. We also can't say for sure that it was just business. In my estimation, it was more then chit chat. But none of us were actually there. When you are actually in the situation, that place and time, you have a much better understanding and feeling of the situation. Thus, the guy is the only one who knows for sure, but the person who would have the next best opinion would be Jetta. Who among us has not had a moment where they just felt something special, even if others couldn't see it?

 

Jetta, that is why I said to look at what you want. Some people will try to convince he was just conducting business. Others will say he is interested. But what others think isn't important. What is important is what you want. If you want to see what is there, then you owe it to yourself to try.

[annie24]

We can't say for sure that he is interested. We also can't say for sure that it was just business. In my estimation, it was more then chit chat. But none of us were actually there. When you are actually in the situation, that place and time, you have a much better understanding and feeling of the situation. Thus, the guy is the only one who knows for sure, but the person who would have the next best opinion would be Jetta. Who among us has not had a moment where they just felt something special, even if others couldn't see it?

 

Which is why I said in my first post here....

 

I think from the info you've given us, there isn't any overwhelming evidence that he's interested. Sounds like he was just doing his job. Not saying that he isn't interested, just that from what you've written, there's no "red flag" saying that he's interested.

 

Of course, Jetta, if you feel it's worth pursuing, go for it. You asked for our opinions, we gave them, but ultimately our opinions are just that and may be far from what is the reality.