Echo Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 I have a question and I am sure it's been posted before..but I thought I'd ask again.... If you've been in NC with an ex for WHATEVER reason, and you find out they are or may be seeing someone else, has that reinforced your NC or did it make you panic and break it? I think my ex may bee seeing someone else...and it spooked me a little. I don't know what I could possibly do to prevent it..but knowing I could lose him to someone else has me sitting my my hands today. UGH!!! How to handle this? I know ALL relationships have their "issues"..but adding another person in the equation certainly doesn't help matters. Just another hurdle to overcome. Do I wait this out and see if things fall apart? YES as much as I WANT him to be happy ..I can't deny I'd like to see him fall on his face with this one. Is that wrong of me??lol Anyway.....how should I proceed? Should I ask him about it? Should I just stay NC and see what happens? Link to comment
luke2005 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 im in same situation NC didnt work she just got back with her ex but again for the third time she is saying she wants to get back with me! Link to comment
RayKay Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Stay NC. What do you hope to happen if you did contact him? Find out it was not true, then wonder if he was honest? Find out it was true, and tell him "thats great" while gritting your teeth? What happens if they DON'T fall apart? Besides, hoping for that is really a sure way to only bring bad "karma" onto yourself! I know ALL relationships have their "issues"..but adding another person in the equation certainly doesn't help matters. Just another hurdle to overcome. Sweetie, but you are NOT in a relationship. It's not an "issue" - it's a breakup. It's not adding another person, you are not in the equation right now. Yes, I have been there where I found out an ex found someone else...one of my exes got married within a year after breaking it off with me in fact! And you know, it was okay. Whether they were dating many, or just one...I was moving or moved on and healed and had a goal for myself, and realized that it was not the right relationship for either of us. My attitude became if he did not want me, I don't want him either! Have faith, in time you will meet the right person whom feels the same of you as you do of them, just as your ex deserves to be happy, so do you - and you will be. Link to comment
comets_21 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Same thing happened to me... My ex started dating this guy a month after we broke up. Its now been two months into their relationship and I still remain in NC except for when she contacts me (believe me it helps you heal). She now wants me back more then ever and her close friends keep trying to talk to me about it but I remain strong. . I guess the grass wasn't greener on the other side. From my experience NC is the way to go. It helps you get control of yourself again. Link to comment
Ant5157 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 You know im sorda in the same situation, and Im woundering when will my ex start running for the rebound . Just hang in there! Link to comment
danylion Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Dont do anyting, retain the NC status. I hate to say this but, it doesn't concern you and you will never get the answer you really want. I lived with and loved a guy for4 years we finished, 1 month no contact (which I was really proud of) then I found out he was going out with someone else! I was devastated went round there confronted him and it did more damage than good, I felt awful. I regret that and because it was nothing to do with me, as raykay said previously you are not in that relationship anymore. I know its hard to get out of the habbit. I am sorry you are at this stage, its awful, but remain as you and sit on those hands. Be strong Link to comment
Dako Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Why are you not in contact with him? To protect yourself as you move on with your life, to hunker down and hope he returns, or to hurt him? Link to comment
Echo Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 Dako I am in NC...as a way to heal...and hope that eventually we can work on things again.... I didn't really intend to contact him..I just wanted to know what everyones opinions were. I guess obliviousness is bliss sometimes...truthfully the less I know the better off I'll be. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day!! Link to comment
Dako Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 I hope it works out like you want, but planning for the alternative might be wise. Best of luck, either way. Link to comment
lunatic Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Echo now you have no reason to not move on. It is time to let him go and start your next chapter in your life without him in it. Link to comment
nataliejulie Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 What makes you think he's seeing someone else? Link to comment
atomic40 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 My ex was with someone two weeks after she broke off our relationship of two years (hmmm think she may have been seeing him before the break up?) I was crushed, absolutely devastated after being utterly faithful and caring of her for two years. Well I confronted her and it did not help at all. Things only got worse. The only time that I began to heal, was with NC. I finally convinced myself it was over and that I needed to move on. Link to comment
Echo Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 It's a long story..I kinda heard through the grapevine that he was flirting with this new girl at work...but it could just be hear say. I am trying not to care and to just maintain NC...keeping my head down..and moving forward. Link to comment
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