My nc not working with confused lover

[luke2005]

Ok so i have been trying my NC with my girlfriend of 18 months for the last week, i seriously cant get her out my head and i am seriously tempted to give her a llast chance! The story is that she has a baby with her ex lover (who asks for her back constantly) after 6 months of a secret relationship (Reason for secrecy, she told me so she didnt want 2 upset her ex & to keep maitence money) we split up cuz the ex found out about us, she went back 2 him for 6 weeks, then she said she was in love with me and she got back with me 3 months later we split again and she got back with him, then it happeed again each time she gets back ith him its for a shorter time!! So thi latest time she finished with me and after less than a week she is asking for me back, i am serouily temted to give her 1 last try! I asked y she gets back with she told me cuz he is friends with her friends and she feels like she has a social life wen with him, but wen she is with me she feels she just has me! She swears there is no sexual attraction with her ex and she is not in love with him!! So what do i do?? Shall i give it 1 last try and tell her if she gets back with him again thats it for good? I am so stressed about this i love her so much and dont want to say goodbye!! Please help!

[Stari]

The tendency is that soon she won't break up with you any more. However, love is not mathematics.

 

Her feelings for you are not strong if she can break up with you.

With her having lukewarm feelings, do you think a relationship with you would be a good relationship for you?

 

You minimise the suffering through seeking another gf. One who likes you alot preferably.

[ratherbesailing]

Luke, you'd be better off starting from scratch with someone else, this one doesn't know what she wants.

 

If you can't do that, and she really wants to come back, tell her you love her and you want her to be happy so she needs to live/be alone or with her parents for a good couple of months to get her head straight without you or the ex. She's got to figure herself out before she can break this cycle. She needs to learn that she can survive without either of you before she can make a real commitment to what she wants. You can talk to her but no sex and no living together until her head's on straight and you know she's clean of the ex.

 

Good luck