Better to have loved and lost?

[Starfox86]

I was in love with a girl once. Not for a very long time, because young relationships never last. The pain and aftershocks, however, are very real. I don't understand hardly any of what's happening...

We went out for about 3 months, (we've been in a relationship 3 different times), and after the third time, I was devastated. Never thought I'd be able to be with anyone ever again. There was this two week fling this girl and I had, but we were just too different. It didn't work out.

Back to my lost love, I was in a Wal-Mart tonight, just looking around because my parents decided they'd drag me out for the night. Just before we left, I saw a girl, who reminded me so much of the girl I loved so much. I was about to break down crying in a fricken Wal-Mart here. I know that's not what the normal guy thing is to do, but I'm not you're typical guy.

Lately I've been feeling like a little puppy with an injured leg and all I can do is look helpless and limp around all day.

...When I saw that girl at Wal-Mart, I should have walked up to her and tried to make a conversation. I know she noticed me, because I caught her looking at me once or twice.

So, with all that said, I have two questions. . .

1) should I have talked to the girl and perhaps started something with her, perhaps a potential relationship, or was it best for me to have just left it alone?

2) What the hell should I do about my feelings? I mean, what should I do to get rid of all the things that make me remember her? How do I avoid feeling like this little lost puppy?

(ok so that was three questions, but seriously, I need help)

Thanks everyone.

[crookster_man]

Starfox, first off I want to say you've come to the right place. Second, when I was younger I to suffered through relationships ending much like you. A little older now I will tell you time heals all wounds and every relationship can be a positive learning experience.

 

My advice is to focus on your self first. Build up your confidence, do activities you like, start enjoying yourself as you again. I have some more words to say but I'm on a time crunch. I'm sure you will have other good posts. I'll check in on you later and give you some good ways to help keep your mind off her and moving along the healing proccess.

[Starfox86]

Thanks for the help crookster.

I know that time heals all wounds, but suppose these wounds seal themselves over time, as expected, then open up at any given moment.

It's like I'm living in some sort of loop here. Like all that happens just keeps coming back. Well, the emotional part of the breakup keeps coming back.

I wonder if I made the right descision tonight, I mean, I have worked my confidence back up, and I wanted to talk to that girl. I wonder if I'll ever see her again. I wonder if the next time I see her, will I pass up the opportunity to talk to her. Life is mysterious, maybe I'll see her again, maybe I wont. I hope I do. Even if things don't work out, I'll hang on to a hope, that things will get better.

Thanks again!

[AN]

so she looked at you once or twice? big freakin deal! maybe there was something on your face, or you were in her line of sight. You people, think the world and everything in it revolves around you.

[aaron66]

Dude, nothing is wrong with guys crying. At least crying is better than shooting yourself. Your feelings are very natural and there's no reason to surpress them.

[sayer7]

All I can say is: It's never good to go out with someone only because they look like your long lost love.

 

That person you saw in Walmart and your long lost love are two, entirely different people and going out with someone only because they look like someone you loved in the past is inviting A LOT of baggage into an entirely NEW relationship. It's not fair to that new person.

 

If you DID date that Walmart girl...you would be constantly reminded of the hurt you went through in the past- except you'd be re-experiencing it in the present which constitutes as WALLOWING' in pain, you would hurt her once she knew you only dated her because she looked so much like a long lost love, and you may also have trouble accepting her as an entirely different person than your long lost love-- which could cause big problems in the relationship.

 

Remember: You cannot re-live the past. You cannot change how the past occurred in the present.

 

It is best to do your best to move on....

[Starfox86]

I have to thank all of you for your help and advice. You all, no doubt, know what the hell you are talking about. So it'd' be in my best interest to listen. I do see that. I forget that one user, but he said that everyone thinks the world revolves around them. I suppose that's wrong, but it's starting to seem like a contest, of who suffered the most pain and such. When instead, it should be a time to break of five minutes of life to help someone else. I'm guessing this user is failing to see that.

I guess by his standards that I am selfish. But the more important issue here, is that I didn't talk to that girl, and start something. I could have drug her down and that would be very wrong to do. So it worked out for the best that I didn't speak to her.

So I won't speak to anyone, until I am....ready. Who knows when that'll be, but I will try my best to avoid the whole relashionship thing.

Thanks again everyone!