Literally sick to my stomach...

[HeckaBekah]

"just wanted to see how things are going for you, i havent heard from you in a while". - Ex Boyfriend

 

The next morning: "im sorry, my intentions were never to hurt you, but i am geting back with leslie. everything that i felt for her is still ther, on both of our sides, it just seemed to work out that way, if you dont want to talk to me, thats unerstandable. sorry" -Ex Boyfriend

 

These messages were both sent after he typed a blog for the whole world to know his feelings for a girl who out-of-the-blue left him over a year ago. He hadn't heard from her since...until now that is.

 

We broke up three weeks ago and I haven't talked to him in a couple of weeks. Now he's trying to justify his actions! If he was prepared for me not to speak with him again, how can he type this pathetic little message? And he could have at least had the decency to keep this matter private so I can heal from the break up. But he does this, and only after three weeks? I'm in disgust.

 

If I tell him I don't want to talk to him then the blame will be on me. If I act like I'm happy for him than he won't ever feel the same pain I have now for his break up with me that was all the sudden. Yeah, I was so confused why all of the sudden his feelings drastically changed for me in a matter of less than a week, but now I'm starting to see why. His actions are no way close to love at all and it just makes me sick knowing that I wasted my time, my effort and my heart on someone I don't even know.

 

I feel like saying, "Since it sounds like you do not care either way than I am in the position to feel the same way," (to put it in a polite way). He does not deserve my happiness, my sadness...not even my anger. And even though he has put me in a position of some little bug you can just step on I do hope that he doesn't make a big enough mistake that will affect the rest of his life. This is because I want to look to something more than my own feelings right now and that is God. God is compassion and God is also just in His doings. Whatever happens, my ex will get in return what he has given.

 

Any advice for me?

[annie24]

Eeek! I'm sorry - he sounds like a total nutjob! Well, at least he's leslie's problem now

 

I think your best course of action would be to send him a simple text message: "Good luck in your new relationship."

 

That's it.

 

don't worry - you'll be fine. he sounds.... bizarre... blog? Oh man, if I wrote a blog about every guy I fell for... oh that's just too weird...

 

You're better off without him.

[Rebel]

That was cruel. I don't know you but I can say for a fact you deserve better than that.

[Meow18]

That was horrible of him! How rude to write something like that, for everyone to read so soon after he broke up with you! If he cared at all about how you felt, he wouldn't have done it that way.

 

I would do what Annie24 said. Just reply "good luck in your relationship". After that, don't reply to his messages, just ignore him. He hardly even deserves for you to say anything in the first place.

 

If you choose to not say anything at all, don't feel like you would be the bad guy for ignoring him. He obviously hurt you and I can say that I wouldn't talk to someone who did that to me. You are not to blame for being hurt over this.

 

Try not to read his blogs. Try not to have anything to do with him. It will really help you forget about him over time if you have no contact at all.

[jna35]

Wow, I'm so sorry!! That must be so hard for you! I definitely agree with the other posters. Be thankful that he is someone else's problem now. You deserve SOOOOOO much better!! Take care!

[Hope75]

I'm sorry that your ex chose to send you this hurtful email. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound!

 

You also have the options to ignore the email altogether and not respond at all. Why would you? Your relationship is over, you haven't talked in a few weeks, and personally, I think his email does not dignify a response from you.

 

Best of luck with your new life, sounds like you are much better off without him anyway.

[kellbell]

Girl, I totally feel your pain! Major hugs to you. This dude I was crazy about broke up with me and got back together with me like 4 times! Stupid me kept taking me back. The last time he broke up with me, he broke up with me in my car! I told him off and only gave him one day of my sadness and tears. That's it. I totally understand you by saying your ex doesn't deserve your happiness, tears, anger, etc. I totally get what you meant and that's the perfect attitude. You will get better, I promise you. Chin up girl, we are here for you. Take care and wishing you all the best.

[HeckaBekah]

Thanks so much for your responses! I don't feel so bad about my situation because I know I didn't deserve to be in this position in the first place. I'm wondering if he heard about her that last week we were together. All I know is that the last week we were together he said he was happy with me and then that weeked he said, "I don't feel completely myself around you sometimes." Hmmm...he doesn't feel completely himself with himself! I was the only girl that was so good to him and I was also the only girl he dumped. Talk about low self esteem! Anyways, Leslie left in the first place because she wasn't over her ex. I bet she found someone else (or maybe her ex) and then left him, but now she's coming back because she know's he'll take her back.

 

I totally don't see why he feels the need to rub it in?! It probably makes him feel good thinking someone wants him back. I'm sure he got an ego boost from it just because she hurt him so badly in the first place. He probably thought, 'She realizes what mistake she made and wants me back! Wow! She must really care about me!' Also, I wouldn't be surprised if she gets a thrill out of him breaking it off with me.

 

I won't have anything to do with him and I won't read his blogs. I'm glad I did this time because it made me realize that I don't know him at all like I thought I did. This was the closure that I needed. I'll keep you all posted. Thanks again!

 

Rebekah

 

P.S. I'll just say, "Good luck in your new relationship" and I'll make him figure out the rest. I don't need to be the one to dwell on this anymore.

[HeckaBekah]

"i feel like a little kid again, i had such a huge smile on my face the whole time, everything feels so right. im glad everything happened for a reason, i guess they were right when it said" if you love them, let them go, if it comes back it was meant to be." thats how i feel right now, i needed this. im not going to let her get away again." -Ex Boyfriend in a blog

 

 

Sorry...couldn't resist this time, but I knew what it was about. Wow....he is going to fall hard. Here comes his huge dose of reality.

[MissJones]

What a prat! He's just shown you exactly why he doesn't deserve you and why you don't need him. I don't even know you and I feel the best thing he ever did was break up with you. Don't take any of it personally and consider that he's done you a favour - because he has. I wish there was a list of guys names out there who do this kind of thing so we can avoid them all.

 

What goes around comes around (trust me - it's always the way!) and when he comes crawling back to you, his safety net, when things screw up, you won't care anymore.

 

Feel liberated from this super rat and be glad that he can't cause you any more grief

[Meow18]

They are perfect for each other.. i mean they keep breaking up with their current partners for anything "better" that comes along.. it's what people like that do. How many times do you think they will break up and get back together? Seriously, I can't see this lasting long. However, don't even consider him if he comes running back.

 

Get over this jerk. You deserve so much better. Don't even waste a breathe over him.

[HeckaBekah]

Well he didn't reply, which I'm glad because any kind of contact from him is going to hurt me more. The fact that he didn't reply shows me he doesn't care if he talks to me or not. I'm his close friend? Yeah right.

 

Well what's interesting about the situation is Leslie had a baby out of wedlock. My ex was born out of wedlock also. I'm sure the child reminds him of himself and he has a special connection with the child and she probably reminds him of his mother. I'm sure she eventually wants a father figure for her child and knows that my ex will do anything for her. He certainly needs to learn from his mistakes, but I hope him doesn't make the biggest mistake of his life...

 

If he were to come back into the picture I wouldn't take him back because I really don't know who he is and cannot believe anything he says since he makes big decisions purely on emotion. I just hope he at least finds himself and the only way he's going to do that is by learning how to live alone.

[Juha]

Don't let him bother you he does not deserve it....He does/did not respect your love for him...He probably does not respect himself either...

 

Have the same problem with my ex she left me and is now with someone else but tells me she will never be as close with someone as me but then tells me she does not trust me...I jsut started to NC her and she does not like it at all....

 

So now I am the bad guy and the blame is on me because I don't answer or contact....

 

Let him go off and have the other girl you will find someone who has respect for your love....When he does contact later and he will show him how string you have become...Take care of you and do not let his ignorance bring you down.....Stay strong!!!

[Eowyn]

I havent been feeling too well either. I get sick to my stomach with heartache. I just wait until I am finally hungry and then eat real quick before the nausea comes back. I hate the physiological reaction to the break up. Don't you?

[HeckaBekah]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I felt the heart ache when he first broke it off, but now I get sick because of the disgust of what he did and the shock of someone being able to do such a thing. I've come to realize how cruel people can be and am that much more cautious as to what a guy says. A guy can say the sweetest things and really mean them at the time, but good intentions mean absolutely nothing.

 

I want someone to see me for me including all of my flaws! That way I'll really know if they care about me and not just the image they have of me. I don't care anymore. I'll tell the person right of the bat who I am and I don't want to be with someone who will say they will change, but someone who already has. I know it will take me a long time to meet a good Christian man so in the mean time I have to do things on my own so I don't constantly dream and then feel sorry for myself for being single. I'd rather be single for a long time then really believe that I am going to be with someone for a long time and then having to be forced to open my eyes to reality as soon as I've let my guard down.

[HeckaBekah]

Yes I will become stronger so that I can resist ever getting back together with him and getting into another relationship with someone that selfish! I need to take care of me now so I can show myself that I am not only willing to love others but also myself! Thanks again everyone and God bless!