Parents vs Boyfriend

[lotsaluvd1s]

I'm going through a dilemma right now that tears my heart in two. When I was first going out with my bf my parents were fine with it. His parents have met my parents and everything. My whole family knows him. I've been seeing him for over a year and a half. Now that i'm done with college, my parents have decided to tell me that they dont like him. That he's not good enough for me. They want me to break up with him but he has done nothing wrong. To me he is great, but to my parents he just not good looking enough for me. His family has a history of cancer and my parents are afraid that i'm going to be stuck with a husband that is going to leave me a widow early on in life. My dad has even told me that if I stay with him he wont see me as his daughter anymore. I dont know what to do. I love my bf, but is it really worth it? I ask myself that question all the time but I always have two answers. One is that if I break up with my bf, my parents will be happy and i'll have a family. Another is if I stay with my bf, my parents will never give us blessing.

[jna35]

I'm sorry for what you are going through; that's a tough one, but you can't let your parents live your life for you and decide who is "good enough" for you, only you can decide that. I can't believe they would be so insensitive towards your feelings and his. Personally, I would follow my heart and if that meant my family disowned me, so be it. IMO, a true family loves and supports you unconditionally. And the fact that he "might" get cancer is ludicrous!! NO ONE is immune to that horrible disease and to give up on someone because of that is extremely shallow and a poor excuse in my book. And his looks, that is a ridiculous reason to let someone go!! Maybe once your family sees how much you love him they will come around and if not, just be happy!

[miracle29]

This is horrible. How can they put this type of pressure on you for a guy who hasnt even done anything wrong? I was thinking they would have given a tangable excuse, for example : "he beats you, or he cheats on you" or "he's a thug" or something that atleast has some type of substantial bearing to it.

But to tell you "he has a history of Cancer" is an absurdity. Is there something missing to this story? Is there anything else they know that you may not have mentioned?

 

His looks are not a good enough reason to shove him to the side. Sometimes that plainest looking person can sweep you off your feet because they focus on real love and not the mirror. I'm sorry but I'm not understanding their reasons behind this. The two you listed are simply not going to do.

[Bethany]

They don't seem to want the best for you but the best for themselves and I think they are being unfair and very selfish but I know who I would have chosen.

[lotsaluvd1s]

There is nothing else but those two reasons that my parents are arguing with me about. He's not ugly, he's just not Tom Cruise. He may not have the best looking skin because he has a freckles and moles on this body, but he has checked those out at the doctor's and the doctors dont say they are a problem.

He's now in grad school studying for his PhD. He supports me with my career choice. Even though we're two hours apart he drives up to see me every weekend if he can. However my dad has unwelcomed him to our home.

His family all love me, and my parents wanted to use that as an excuse that his family didnt' like me either. However, I have pictures of me hanging on their fridge. My dad wants me to take down all the pictures with my bf in them in my own room.

Maybe I should just move out of the house. When I mention me moving out, they say it's because I dont love them and I dont have respect for them. That i'm wouldn't be a good daughter.

My parents are just so traditionally asian that it kind of drives me crazy.

 

Right now I have no way of arguing my way out of it because I really can't support myself. I've just graduated and looking for a job. I can't just go live with my bf because that's just taboo in asian culture if we're not married.

 

My parents just make it so hard for me to make my own choices because they make it sound like if I go and try to live my own life, they wont be there for me and support me. I'm not asking them to provide money for me, but just see me as a daughter and not completely disown me when I decide to up and leave the house.

 

I probably should just break up with my bf. Until I can get a job and move out. That'll probably solve all my problems. I just dont know how my bf would take that decision.

[toad4466]

My girlfriends parents didnt like me. They thought i was responsible somehow for her getting ill with endometriosis, and they didnt like the fact I was a salesman, they thought she deserved a professional.

They did split us up in January, and we even had to sell our house. However all the achieved was to start a war. 2 people who want to be together should be. I would tell them to kindly bog off, and tell them if they dont change their attitudes then they will lose you!

Dont listen to them at all!

By the way, if my ex's parents were crossing the street, my foot would hit the accelerator!