She's changed so much since we broke up!

[scythian]

Hey Guys/Girls,

 

I broke it off with my girlfriend a few weeks ago... It was ok i guess for a break-up. I told her how i felt and she was hurt and we just parted ways. It was the first time i'd ever broken up with a girl (im 19)... it was weird... I knew things were going downhill for a few weeks but for some reason i didn't break it off because at the time i just kept telling myself "maybe it'll get better"... Then when i decided to speak to her about breaking up she wouldn't take my explaination that "the spark just wasn't there anymore". She accused me of "using" her... I still feel guilty... well... things are getting better.

 

Anyway... The real reason i've created a topic on this is because yesterday i saw her for the first time and we spoke... She had dyed her hair....Got a tattoo(!) and before we broke up she had planned on visiting her hometown, whereas now after the break-up, she has decided on post-poning her trip home indefinitely...

 

Why all the change?! I haven't changed at ALL since the break-up!

 

Is it natural to want to change one's physical appearance so much after a relationship ends?!

 

Sorry if its vague!

[Princess18]

maybe she wants to change her life and try out new things- I know if my boyf ended our relationship id get my hair done etc to make myself feel better!!

[Southern_Belle]

scythian: I don't mean to be rude, but why do you care if she changed a lot?

[DN]

I Have see advice posted on here to girls after a break-up to get out, meet new people, buy new clothes, get a ne hair style etc.

 

She's trying to move on and that is one way for her to do so.

[Itsok]

She's just trying to change for the better, nothing wrong with that.

[normal man]

my girl left me and she has changed everything in her life as well. It's how people handle breakups and other things for that matter.

 

My girl is moving, new friends and everything.

 

Ive re-arranged my room and have made changes myself..working out and if i had the chance to do other things also i would.

 

When you're upset you need to change things up or you'll be in the same state of mind as before in the same places and routine and you'll keep swelleing on ya broke relationship.

 

She's just trying to heal herself and get over being hurt by u.

 

No need to be so mean Tweak....even though I dont like dumpers myself

[Southern_Belle]

I even want to move to new place. (I planned to stay this place for 3 more years.) I was thinking about it but I may really do it.

Anyways, again, when I asked why you cared about her change, I didn't mean to be rude. I was wondering how dumpers feel when they see dumpees getting over them, or rather, trying to get over them.

[RayKay]

Sometimes, it's a way to start a new chapter - getting a haircut, going to gym (if you don't already go!) and doing things for yourself in the aftermath of a breakup help you reconnect with yourself and do things for YOU again. Sometimes it's also a way to change whom you are...you know go from being that "dumped girl" to hot, single, sexy female.

[scythian]

Thanks for the replys!

 

Anyways, again, when I asked why you cared about her change, I didn't mean to be rude. I was wondering how dumpers feel when they see dumpees getting over them, or rather, trying to get over them.

 

How do I feel?... Good question... I don't know...

I'm worried about her.... Nobody should have to uproot their life and change so much because of what happened with someone else.

I feel guilty... But i know i've made the right choice... It's hard because we were good friends, but i know that it wasn't meant to be.

[scythian]

No need to be so mean Tweak....even though I dont like dumpers myself

 

What?! Thanks for the defense but - you don't like dumpers?!

 

I'll quote jeff buckley on this

"Oh it makes me so angry cause i'll know that in time, I'll only make you cry. This is our Last Goodbye"

 

That is how dumpers feel. If something doesn't feel right, it won't start getting better anytime soon if at all so tell that someone the truth or you will really hurt them... and that's what i tried to do and i did hurt them - a lot. So i feel bad...