who do I choose? Really confused and disconnected

[cinderella jones]

I am not sure what to do. I was going with out this guy for about 4 years (twice broken up for bad reasons). When we got back together the first time I allowed him to move in with the understanding that we were suppose to move forward. and leave allof our problems behind. He never proposed and seemed as if he didn't change, and didn't prove anything to me. We broke up again last June because i felt we weren't growing and would see each other on and off. He was my buddy as well as my lover but I can't seem to trust him; however I am deeply connected to him in a physical way as well as a mental way. Feeling this untrusting I told him to move out when we broke up a second time but again we always keep in contact. Now I met this other man. He is younger than me but is so very sweet. The problem is that this man is not very stable right now financially and so I feel that this time that we are suppose to have to court one another is being ruined by the economic strain we have on us. I have been paying for everything when we do go out (even though he doesn't like that),just b/c I understand his plight, however I fear that I am going to waste a lot of time on this person in trying to strive for certain things that I want out of life like a family and a house..etc...However I do feel like I can trust him. He has also already spoken to me about a future and seems to be into the idea of committment. The problem is my ex is now in a position where he feels that he is ready to move forward with me and has been very persistent in trying to tell me he still loves me and wants to marry me and that he is a changed person. The question is do I trust him after all of that pain we went through? Or do I move forward with this man who i can trust even though i know financially we are in no position to buy a home or anything for that matter. I am getting older and am now 32 years old, and so I guess i fear that I may take the wrong road to my future. I don't want to hurt anyone but I am really disconnected with finding a solution. Can someone give me some good advice? I really need help with this...so confused....cinderella....

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

Of course this guy is ready to move forward because you have your eye on another man. Go figure huh?

 

I express EXTREME caution getting the likes a man with financial problems. I say this because you will take on the grunt of the money in this relationship. I am currently dating a guy with horrible credit, no assets, no money saved, owes money to a creditor, god, it's scarey. At first it wasn't a big deal but now that we have been together for 3.5 years and share a place, it gets very overwhelming and frustrating. Just be very very careful. I cannot stress that enough. Good luck and all the best to you.

[cinderella jones]

Yeah I know..you are right...This ex of mine always tends to do this everytime I want to move forward. I guess I am just scared that I am going to go down the wrong path and miss my chance to marrying someone I have so much in common with. I know this man hurt me...but who is to say that the next won't do the same..ya know...I dunno...I appreciate your advice..and I will think about what you said with dating a man in debt...lol...thanks!