How Should I Handle This??

[lizzy22]

Well, I stated in my last post that my ex emailed me after 4 days NC simply saying, "Hi, how are you. Hope you are ok. You know I still love you."

 

I was a little confused by it, but I didn't read into it too much, and just responded with a simple answer of, "im good, hope you are well, luv u 2."

 

I shouldn't have even responded, but I did. That was Sat morning, and since then, no call, text, or email.

 

We've broke up before, but he always calls back a few days later, plays the blame game, then says he still loves me.

 

I think this time he may think its for good in his mind. I hope he does, because Im thinking its over finally too.

 

My question is, I have his parking pass, and his bday present from last week that I was never able to give him bc we go in a huge fight.

 

I text him last thurs saying I was in his area and if he wanted me to stop by and drop them off. He texd back and said "no, hang on to them we will do it later."

 

Well, its now been almost a week, and I still have his things. No big deal, but I honestly just want them to be gone, so he will not have an excuse to ever call back in the future, nor will I have any reminders of him.

 

When we were fighting, he told me to keep my gift for him, shove the pass ******!

 

I just don't want there to be anything "hanging" to open up contact again. I don't know what hes thinking, but I sure don't want to become weak again if he does call me, because right now I still am.

Should I drop his stuff off with a note when he isn't home, or not worry about it, and if he calls, just ignore him??

 

I just want to move on, and thinking he may call or we may get together is only going to prolong the pain. His verbal abuse has wore me down, and I need to be strong again and move on.

[GettingOverIt]

I would either mail it to him, or drop it off with NO note... Just leave it there....

[Dannysgirl]

Hi Lizzy,

 

You need to begin strict NC with this guy to allow yourself to heal and move on. He is no good for you and by continuing contact you are just prolonging the agony and the inevitable.

 

Do not answer his phone calls or emails although you can be sure he will probably begin to pursue you quite doggedly as a result because he probalby thinks that all he has to do is snap his fingers and you will come running but do yourself a favour and tell yourself NOT THIS TIME.

 

You deserve so much better than him and but you won't find that person unless you stop puttting all of this time, effort and energy into this undeserving loser!

 

As for his birthday present, either give it to somebody else, keep it or burn it. Do not give it to him because to do so will let him know you still care and by doing so he will continue to have power of you.

 

Good luck, strict NC from now on - you can do it!

[lizzy22]

Thanks for your responses. It helped

So, I guess I'll just mail him his pass, and just take his gift back. I don't want to show him I care.

It's hard, because each day he hasn't called is a day that I dont get yelled at or hung up on.

[Dannysgirl]

Thanks for your responses. It helped

So, I guess I'll just mail him his pass, and just take his gift back. I don't want to show him I care.

It's hard, because each day he hasn't called is a day that I dont get yelled at or hung up on.

 

Take his gift back and buy yourself something nice with it! As for him not calling well thats definitely a good thing and be glad that you are not the one being yelled at and hung up on, I mean who needs that?

Not you thats for sure.

 

Good Luck!

 

 

[Lovesick64]

Lizzy-

 

I broke up withmy ex 3 wks ago. I hadn't heard from him until yesterday when I ran into because we live in the same apt complex. Long story short, I had his things and was obsessing about what to do with them. He had come over yesterday and I gave him all of his stuff before he left. When he got home and saw that everything was in the bag he immediately came back over. He wanted to know when I got his stuff together blah blah blah and why I felt the need to give him everything back. Reading about your ex telling you to hold onto the parking pass leads me to believe that is their twisted way of having an open door to communicate with you. When my ex saw all of his stuff he knew that it was really over. Apparently he was planning to use the additional items as reasons to contact me or see me.

[Dannysgirl]

I agree with lovesick,

 

Lots of men use this kind of thing as a way of keeping the door open so please don't allow him that option! If you can post his parking pass through his door when he's not there so he can't say he didn't get it in the mail and keep contact that way.

[lizzy22]

Thanks for all your advice. I will read these posts over if and when I feel weak.

Dannysgirl, you mentioned putting his parking pass in the mail, and I was also thinking about that.

 

It may be kinda hard for me to drive down to his place though, because he lives about 45 min away, and I think the drive may make me miss him. That may sound strange, but I just don't want to accidently run into him, and if he IS home, I dont want to just leave it on the porch because then he REALLY may not get it.

Do you think it would be wise to guarantee somehow he receives the item by mail. I think you can do that at the post office?

 

I would be scared if for some crazy reason it didn't get to him, but at the same time, Im scared to go to his house.

 

I know the best way would be to just drop it off at his place, then take off, but I just hope I don't run into him or he ends up being home after driving all that way.

 

Oh well, I'll figure it out. Guess I just needed to vent here in order to do it. =)

Thanks again everyone.

[Dannysgirl]

Okay well if you live 45 mins away just mail it, driving that far is not worth it to give his silly pass back!

I would just send it recorded delivery by ups or something and make sure he has to sign for it or pick it up at the post office himself if he's not there to receive it. Do not put any letter/message in it just the pass and nothing more.

 

Good luck!