some advice

[the_path_i_take]

Hello all

 

I find myself a little stuck although I believe the answer is right in front of me.

 

This relationship of mine, well, it has a lot of ups and downs. Its about 2.5 years old or so and recently, marriage is in the future. Here is the thing.

 

I love my fiance tremendously and she knows it. We have 1 kid and possible another on its way (waiting for blood work to come back). We broke up for a little while because of another guy. It was someone she had at one time worked with and now lives a few states over. Just recently, the constantly chat online and she makes no secret of what they talk about (sexual stuff and the like). He proved to be unreliable in communicating (would go a week or longer without a call or message). I had asked her to marry me before all this happened and finally she accepted. Well, she still loves this guy and she pretty much said that he will stay in her life. She even wants to go seem him (i've been against it because I know they would bed pretty quickly even though we are engaged). She finally told the guy and she said he thought it was funny because the marriage would never work. I took great offense to it but she defended him.

 

She is now being sorta cold (does not like to be intimate, touched or the like by me) and hogs the computer just so she can talk to him. I've tried everything short of frying the modem but then she would probably run up my phone bill.

 

The answer would seem obvious, but... She says she loves me and wants to marry me. That things would never work between the two. Then why does she do what she does? My feelings for her are clouding my judgement I think. Should I keep her from talking to him? I dont want to spend money on a wedding only to have her leave me at the alter for this other guy.

 

Any advice would help. Do we try to work things through or do we go our separate ways (she is unemployed because she takes care of our child)?

[DN]

For me at least, her behaviour is selfish and unacceptable. I would tell her that you are moving out so she can have all the time she needs to cheat with her boyfriend and figure out the best way to co-parent your child and/or children.

 

A relationship conducted like this will not work - even if you do get married.

[TRAUMA]

do not spend a freaking dime on a wedding...(with someone like this).

and dude?...you're not being a MAN..do you un/stand?? ..it seems to me she's got control of the relationship. (if she can have a relat. w/ another dude). thats totally unacceptable. You got to put a stop to this rigth away. and on top of it, you got to put up with her rejections??..no way man..!!! Get rid of her...sounds easy for me to say..but, she is going to extremes,and you dont deserve this.!! Love your child (always)..but forget this B....! Can you afford to move away from her?? i mean financially ..forget love..theres none here. sorry. You need to wake up .. I hope Im helping here..???

[suprema99]

I agree with the above, the answer, like you said, right in front of your face. It sucks you had kids with this girl. You gotta figure out a way to get you life back and get rid of her.

[Süsser Tod]

She is cheating on you, you know it she acknowledges it and she is doing it in your face. She even cares so little about you that she wants to introduce you to her lover...

 

Why are you still there?

 

You are getting abused by this woman, what, do you want to have a happy marriage the three of you?