Its all messed up

[frozenfire]

Hi again,

for my situation please goto search and type in frozenfire as author and goto topic - im hurtin'bad

 

Basically its been another 2 months and i see her now and again and talk to her. he is now her boyfriend which i found out when i went to hers for my license. I then realised i have to move on and told her "i wont txt u n e more cos it hurts me" she sed ok if thats what i gotta do!

 

so i havnt txt her, but i spoke in a club wid her, but still stopped txtin. then few more weeks on i c her up town on a saturday and walk past to ignore but she tapped me and i sed hi and carried on walking and didnt spk . then i seen her in next pub and ignored her. that night he picked her up. same night her m8 and my m8 talked about getting back.- (they used to have long relationship). so sunday came and my m8's ex (who is also friends with my ex) sed that my ex's new boyfriend stayed at her house (i wsnt allowwed too, although i did.), so my friend sed to his ex " thought noone was allowed to stay their" and she sed she sneaks him in.

but my ex txt me on sunday askin why i ignored her. i sed i cnt be friends as it hurts me too much.she says she dont know wot to do n e more?

then comes monday i txt her sayin my mum wants her exercise thingy bk.

and she basically offered to bring it up and wanted me to be their.

i offered her to come in and she did for four hours.

she asked who i went home with sat night but i sed its not her business.

she says she dont know wether she wants boyfriend or me. shes so confused and dont know wether shes comin or goin!!

i sed about her new boyf stayin at hers, she sed he never, her friend was a bit drunk and her drink got spiked so she prob confused.

i dint ask if she sneaks him in in the past - i forgot.

she sed since friday she sed to her m8 shes missing me loads etc.

she says she cant look at our "long holiday" photos or photos of me.

and she sed about the time after the first break i kissed a girl then the second break she couldnt go through it again so she sed no break so thats when i sed ok a split? and she sed about the time when i took her somewhere after the first break and we were bk 2getha she sed she done her hair and made an attempt to look good and all i did was spk about this girl i kissed. when she told me this i felt mega bad and told her i dint realise.

i have a problem too with evaluating everything and going through what ive sed and what she sed in my head.- maybe to salvage things asif they were the last times with her or maybe to figure how she feels??

 

but ne way.- i spoke to her nxt morning (tuesday) to make sure she dint come uo to try n be friends and she sed no it was legitamate that she is confused and dont know what todo.also sed she dont think she could love him and she dint really want the gift he gave her. i later txt her tellin her she should spk to him- maybe i shouldnt.

shes goin holiday sn for a week. i told her on txt msg-tohave a good time,and will u contact me when u sort head out? and she sed it depends- i think she sed it depends on what the decision is. i sed what if i got a new girlfriend by then, she sed shell still ring me?

 

while at my house on monday night she was well upset and was messed up!!

 

im sure i love her to bits and really care for her, i told her to be careful on holiday.

she sed on monday night while upset "just remember that i understand why u cant just be friends"

i feel bad about this but its messing me up if i spk to her as it resets my head and i go through it again!

she knows i want her, should i txt her a msg that she can keep reading?? saying- hey u, want u 2 know i love u, ive lernt my lesson. so sorry i mesed u around + made u feel so bad + i would try so hard to make it work. have a nice hols. love me.

would this make her think im always there for her and push her away. or would it be good to tel her or would it upset her and ruin holiday?

 

then again, its a big step, what if i dont now what i want.

cant bear this, i need her.

 

sorry for so long.[/b]

[crookster_man]

Frozenfire, you sound like your in a bad way. It was difficult to read your post, but from what I got it sounds like you're in way to deep. What I mean by that is that you're so immersed in this situation that it's hard for you to have an objective view.

 

You need to take a step back and analyze this situation objectively. Why are you making this relationship the be all and end all of your life? I understand you love her, but you need to take some time apart to figure out what you both want.

 

She sounds very confused as do you. Stop asking yourself "how do we get back together" how about asking "Why did we break up in the first place?" until you work out whatever issues broke you apart, you will never be able to get back together. The relationship is doomed to fail. So take some time to soul search and let her do her own thing. Don't ignore her, but don't go out of your way to talk to her. Give her the space you both need.

 

You might realize that life is better without her, she might do the same. Or you both might realize that what you had is worth working on. Either way, they more you dwell on the negative and sadness the worse off you will be.

[frozenfire]

we broke up cos we were argueing from seeing too much of eachother cos we couldnt be apart then there was financial strain and i was down from work etc then we took it all too oz for 3 months, so we decided on a break when we got back, but she dint want it and was hurt wen i kissed a girl which i only done cos i was curious as my girlfriend (ex) was my first!

so we got bk and i thought it was too soon so i sed about another break which she couldnt bear so we split. i messed up!! she got with this kid from work, and now she misses me?? but is not sure what she wants as it would be hars on the both of us if its the wrong decision,

 

I understand i have to get through this,

as for the "i love you and sorry for messing u around" txt message. ive sent it, not exspecting her too reply and she hasnt either.

when she left on monday night she sed ok i wont txt u .-cos thats what i sed i have to do cos it hurts me when im reminded of her. we also cuddled, then spoke by her car then pecked on the lips.

and the tuesday morning i rang her, she was crying when i was saying ok bye! asif its the last time we spk. although i rang her again too make sure she didnt come up last night just too try n be friends. and she sed she never, because she felt she was missing me on friday, and it was saturday when i ignored her and sunday when i sed i cnt be friends.

 

i think we both need and love eachother, but shes scared of losing me all over again, but she might lose me now??

thnks for all ure advice.

[crookster_man]

Okay Fire, what do you want? What is it that you wish to happen? Do you just wish to vent? I'm not really sure what you're looking for. If your looking for approval whether or not you should peruse her, you won't find that here. I can't tell you which way to go. Al I can say is be true to yourself, follow your own heart. Are you really in love with this girl or just the person she thought she was? Are you afraid to be alone? What is the underlining motivation behind your desire to stick around?

 

I know you're in a bad place, but clinging onto a dead thing is worse then letting it go. Being alone is not that bad. You will find someone eventually, if that's what you really want. Let this person go. You will love again. Most people have an average of 6 loves in there life. Did you know that? What number is this?

[frozenfire]

This is my first love!!

but im nearly 22 and dont think there is much more partying todo.

most people are different when there single cos they spread there wings and have fun.

we could of been better together but we were unsure f how ure supposed tobe as it was our first!

i was always jealous as i didnt want to lose her, and over protective which i think she liked in a way.

i told her when i first tried getting her back that she could go out wid her m8's etc and i would pick her up. she sed sorry but i cant give u what u want.

but look what happens when i leave her alone! she comes back, but is still unsure.

to be honest i think we should try again cos we love eachother so much. but i realise it would be hard to split again cos we now know what its like.

It was both our first love and sexual partner. but now shes slept with him, and ive still only slept with her.

 

which is worse.

1, us trying again then splitting

2,going separate ways and realising that it could be wrong.

 

both goin to same university soon, im nearly 22 shes nearly 20. but ill be part-time and her full-time

 

its gonna be hard when we see eachother with different people. and i dont want her to go through that. and i have only seen her with him once, she also told him she dont wanna rub it in.

 

we had the baby talk and special names in our relatioship.

we were always together.

started argueing everyday about little things.

got a bit bad before we went to australia.

i suppose we lost respect for eachother, but we were more like trying to be what a relationships suppose to be.

 

maybe we didnt work after a while, but i wanna try again.

but i cant contact her, cos i told her i cant be friends, so i gotta sit n wait for something that might not come which is to harsh.

so i gotta jus leave it. but i need to know what shes thinking.

how can she enjoy her holiday being like this??