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Did I screw up a great friendship?-Advice Welcome-long

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I have known this lady since high school. We have since graduated from college. Last January I met her at store. We were excited to see each other. I suggested that we get together for lunch or something.

We met each other two times a week for three to five hours. We went to art galleries, movies, museums. We walked in the park many times. I went over to her house many times. We would talk a lot. I did start to notice her touching me on the arms and legs.


Our discussions began around our interest and future plans. We talked everything from politics to culture. Eventually she started to ask questions of a sexual nature? Questions: Do I believe in monagamous relationships?, etc. I was slightly uncomfortable, but I went along with the discussions. She even asked me what I wanted in a spouse.


One afternoon we went to lunch and a play. While it was intermission at the play, she gave me a neckrub out of the blue. That got me curious, really.


Our walks in the park continued. I thought of her as a friend. But I started to have feelings for her. I don't know if it was the intimate discussions or what.


Towards the end of the summer she invited me to help drive to her grad school back east. I agreed.


One evening we met at a local coffeeshop/bookstore. She was constantly touching me. We were in a booth-she propped her legs up and they touched my legs. At this point it became obvious to me that I was getting great vibes. However, I kept things in perspective. She would always her talk about her two exes.


Before the trip, I came out and asked her if we would be a great couple. She paused, asked if I ever had a girlfriend, and then said she was high maintenced. She then asked if I thought we would be a good couple. I said 'maybe". At that point I dropped the whole notion of us being a couple. We were friends.


During the road trip she would constantly ask me intimate questions. Sexual questions. I wanted to tell her to stop the torture. I got the courage to ask her a question: "what do you look for in a man?" she said she looks for someone adventurous, artistic and intelligent. She said that she had two or three male friends who met that criteria. She then said that I was one of them. That really confused the heck out of me.


Along the trip we met with her old friends. She would talk about me in a positive light in front of them. I was very pleased. I learned a lot about her. I have become attracted to her in a spiritual, intellectual, and physical way. I feel that she may have been the one.


I have had her in my mind. I dont feel it is infatuation. I just feel that I could have had her. I seem to miss opportunities. After a month of being at home, I wrote her a letter stating my feelings. It wasnt sappy. It contained nothing about "love" or things like that. It just was a heartfelt letter. I came out and asked if our relationship could have gone to the next level. I mentioned that I was realistic about the probability of it working out between us (distance, etc). I sent it almost two weeks ago. I havent heard back yet. Did I ruin a perfect platonic friendship?



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Dude, you don't see her as a friend to begin with, so you didn't ruin anything. Nothing wrong with letting people know how you feel and being honest with yourself.


Obviously she didn't bite, so let things go. No friendship, no nothing. Plenty of girls for you to talk to. Go out there and get em.

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