BellaDonna Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I know what you mean Bella I once got the 'you don't get many of THEM to the pound HAR HAR!' You'd think I was wearing major padding or something! Most of the men in the world are polite and normal. I was not referring to you, Hepcat. There's nothing wrong with fantasizing. It's those few rude men that engrage women, and give men a bad image. There's not much you can do I guess except to go in the school supplies section of the supermarket, find a magnifying glass, carry it around with you while you do your shopping.....just in case you should come accross the inevitable and obnoxious "dirty old man" so you can hand it to him and reply to whatever rude boob comment he makes with... "here ya go 'honey' -See if you can find your brain and your d___ with this".... BellaDonna Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 So Hepcat - what do you want to do? Do you want to call it quits, or do you want to try to salvage the marriage? There are plenty of sex therapists out there, along with sex videos for couples. Maybe you two can reconnect? I know this is going to sound odd, but some married couples have an open relationship. Would your wife be ok with that? (I'm guessing she wouldn't....) I guess you just have to decide what you want - to be married to your wife or not, and work from there.... i know the relationship your talking about and its good for some not for others. I was intimate with a women whos husband approached me for his wife.. and they seemd on the outside to be a very stable couple. but i had a feeling after i had gotten together with her, that i cant really see that being a healthy relationship.. I mean who knows it very well might be. As for me, no. I would not partake in such activity. esp. this early in a marrige. nor do i shun that activity cause if so i would stand as a hipocrate.. Yes i do want to stay married.. I am venting on here, and its helped me actually, cause i have never talked about it. Ok - so, how to reconnect sexually now? Maybe talk to your wife. See if she will engage in role-play, or watching some porn videos, or insstructional videos... What about taking a romantic weekend getaway together? Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Thats the reason I married him, he's not a total sleazeball unlike some men out there.... Not all men are the same you know. Well i agree with the Lot of you that there are men who never grew out of the Neanderthal stage. and that is worng.. its Disgusting what that man said to you Bella Donna .. but please do not class me as sleazeball, as you do not know me. If in fact you were referring that to me because i admited to fantisizing.. I wasn't referring to you Hepcat. I really hope you can sort out these problems you have with your wife as it would be a real shame if you can't work it out. Maybe you should sit down and talk to her about the issues you have about her attitude to your friends, maybe that is what is bothering you most of all but you as focusing on her breast size? Tell me, why didn't her breast size bother you so much when you were dating? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Hepcat - do you think that if you married a curvier woman with bigger breasts, that you would be fantasizing with being with a very slender woman now? Do you think it's maybe partially a "grass is greener on the other side..." thing.... Link to comment
Hepcat13 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 Ok - so, how to reconnect sexually now? Maybe talk to your wife. See if she will engage in role-play, or watching some porn videos, or insstructional videos... What about taking a romantic weekend getaway together? But see thats the thing.. that sort of thing i become very uncomfortable with.. roll playing and such. also i have to look @ my surroundings.. Im uncomfortable here and we both dont like it but have no choice due to being in the Military. And on that i hate being in this business. I firmly believe that once i am free of this job and environment living situation that my mind will be on the right track.. or firmly hope. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Hepcat, I think what you said above is also very important. There's more to this than just the breast/sex issue. So you will both need to address all of the issues to have a healthy, fulfilling marriage. Maybe because she acts "childish", it's also hard to find her attractive sexually, because she is not acting like "a woman" so it's harder for you to see beyond the breast issue.... Perhaps that also added to your comparison to a 13 year-old boy.... BellaDonna Link to comment
Hepcat13 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 Tell me, why didn't her breast size bother you so much when you were dating? well again i might get beaten up for this.. but, i think it has to do with mind over matter.. When you date you can walk away @ anytime.. is it right.. no but it does not break any sanctity. Married.. well, a divorce over the size of ones chest or the lack of pleasure in intamicy is a bit worng and extremly heart breaking .. I might be alot of things but i would never want to break my wifes heart. and although we have brutal arguments and both say things we shouldnt and we threatin with seperation, i do love her and could not bring myself to it.. If she were to divorce me .. yea it would hurt but ive been independent for so damn long that id get over it quickly.. but not so the other way around .. it would destroy her, and thats something i just could never bring myself to do .. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 and although we have brutal arguments and both say things we shouldnt and we threatin with seperation, i do love her and could not bring myself to it. To me these things are the core issues, and the breast issue is small (no pun intended) in comparision to these communication problems. I think you should strongly consider couples counseling. BellaDonna Link to comment
Hepcat13 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 To me these things are the core issues, and the breast issue is small (no pun intended) in comparision to these communication problems. I think you should strongly consider couples counseling. BellaDonna Im going to look into it.. i believe the Military offers free counseling Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Tell me, why didn't her breast size bother you so much when you were dating? well again i might get beaten up for this.. but, i think it has to do with mind over matter.. When you date you can walk away @ anytime.. is it right.. no but it does not break any sanctity. Married.. well, a divorce over the size of ones chest or the lack of pleasure in intamicy is a bit worng and extremly heart breaking .. I might be alot of things but i would never want to break my wifes heart. and although we have brutal arguments and both say things we shouldnt and we threatin with seperation, i do love her and could not bring myself to it.. If she were to divorce me .. yea it would hurt but ive been independent for so damn long that id get over it quickly.. but not so the other way around .. it would destroy her, and thats something i just could never bring myself to do .. Oh dear, this doesn't sound right at all. So you're saying you would never leave her because it would break HER heart? and YOU would get over it quickly? That doesn't sound like the stance of a loving husband to me, it sounds like you couldn't care less. If that is the case then you really should break up because she deserves to be with somebody who WANTS to be with her because he loves her to death rather than out of a feeling of obligation. You also should be with somebody who makes you happy, life is too short to be married to somebody for years because you are scared of breaking their heart - we don't get long on this earth you know! If you're really not happy and don't think that these issues can be resolved it might be better to break up now while you are still both relatively young, better that than cheat on her with a big breasted woman later down the line. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Im going to look into it.. i believe the Military offers free counseling If either of you have health/medical insurance, depending your level of coverage, counseling and mental health related serivices could be paid for on your insurance plan too. BellaDonna Link to comment
Hepcat13 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 Tell me, why didn't her breast size bother you so much when you were dating? well again i might get beaten up for this.. but, i think it has to do with mind over matter.. When you date you can walk away @ anytime.. is it right.. no but it does not break any sanctity. Married.. well, a divorce over the size of ones chest or the lack of pleasure in intamicy is a bit worng and extremly heart breaking .. I might be alot of things but i would never want to break my wifes heart. and although we have brutal arguments and both say things we shouldnt and we threatin with seperation, i do love her and could not bring myself to it.. If she were to divorce me .. yea it would hurt but ive been independent for so damn long that id get over it quickly.. but not so the other way around .. it would destroy her, and thats something i just could never bring myself to do .. Oh dear, this doesn't sound right at all. So you're saying you would never leave her because it would break HER heart? and YOU would get over it quickly? That doesn't sound like the stance of a loving husband to me, it sounds like you couldn't care less. If that is the case then you really should break up because she deserves to be with somebody who WANTS to be with her because he loves her to death rather than out of a feeling of obligation. You also should be with somebody who makes you happy, life is too short to be married to somebody for years because you are scared of breaking their heart - we don't get long on this earth you know! If you're really not happy and don't think that these issues can be resolved it might be better to break up now while you are still both relatively young, better that than cheat on her with a big breasted woman later down the line. Again, you have got the wrong implication from my post. I am a loving husband everything i do for her is out of love.. i joined the service because she has Diabieties and couldnt afford health care.. I picked up a second job to help pay for her student loans. Do not take stabs at me! I simply meant that i would get on shortly after .. BECAUSE I DONT dwell in sadness.. Thats me thats the way i grew up. Bella Donna and others thank you for your replys and i am going discuss with her tonight about counseling. and the reason i said it would destroy her is because she had told me that.. your reading into this wrong and others are doing just fine. To tell me she deserves to be with someone who wants to be with her.. damn you-- thats mighty bold.. i started this topic about fantisizing.. I know better now to post on a Male Bashing site.. next time ill just post on link removed because the women there dont Stab at you...rather, like other women here, tried to help.. talk about double standards.. your the one that use to bash internet relationships and you married into one. Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 'You also should be with somebody who makes you happy, life is too short to be married to somebody for years because you are scared of breaking their heart - we don't get long on this earth you know!' How is this bashing you hepcat? You said YOU would get over it quickly that gave me the impression that your heart wasn't really in it, thereforeeee you might BOTH be happier if you broke up alltough I would certianly go for counselling first to see if this can be fixed before you go that route. Link to comment
Hepcat13 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 'You also should be with somebody who makes you happy, life is too short to be married to somebody for years because you are scared of breaking their heart - we don't get long on this earth you know!' How is this bashing you hepcat? You said YOU would get over it quickly that gave me the impression that your heart wasn't really in it, thereforeeee you might BOTH be happier if you broke up alltough I would certianly go for counselling first to see if this can be fixed before you go that route. the rest of your post i felt i was being stabbed at.. Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 'You also should be with somebody who makes you happy, life is too short to be married to somebody for years because you are scared of breaking their heart - we don't get long on this earth you know!' How is this bashing you hepcat? You said YOU would get over it quickly that gave me the impression that your heart wasn't really in it, thereforeeee you might BOTH be happier if you broke up alltough I would certianly go for counselling first to see if this can be fixed before you go that route. the rest of your post i felt i was being stabbed at.. Well I certainly didn't mean to give you that impression, thats the difficulty with messageboards you can never hear a person's tone..... its interesting you mentioned my husband and I meeting online. He always used to accuse me of attacking him when we IMed but I was doing no such thing!!! Only when I said the same thing over the phone did he get what I meant... Regardless I hope you manage to sort your marriage problems out. Keep us posted Link to comment
Hepcat13 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 well there are ways to get your point accross with out indication of attacking which always puts the receiver in a defensive state.. ehhhh im probably not gonna repost on this site.. although its more entertaing than Myspace.. that thing makes people spend entirly too much time on the internet . Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 You shoud, its a very good site, I've never seen one troll on here which is suprising seing as people are posting with their problems. You would expect at least one or two idiots posting 'boo hoo' or something like that. As for myspace, I've heard of it but never checked it out. I spend far too much time on the internet when I'm supposed to be working anyway.... Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now