lost and confused about breakup

[hayley86]

hey, i have never done this before but really need help

 

me and my boyfriend broke up now a month ago and its been really hard i think about him all the time and go to work early just in case i can get a glimse of him. i feel really lost because he broke up with me cos he needed space so i felt i had to give it to him for a while but i get a sick feeling in my stomach when i think of him and wish we were back together. he said that i was to emotional which i have always known but it never has been a major issue. i talked to him constantly for the first two weeks but it hurt to much to see him and talk to him in the end cos he just wanted to be friends and i just cannot do that right now. i feel confused because i am not that upset anymore but just feel alone all the time.

 

do you think there is hope for us, we were going out for 16months and the last 4 had been rocky because, a while ago i felt to young to be with someone forever and confused about what i wanted in a relationship. I think that he never really got over the shock of me saying thoughs things or maybe started to see them too. i dont know after our talk i realised that i didnt want to lose this great guy that has meant so much to me. he was my first really bf and i was his so it made it hard because we didnt know how to be in a serious reationship for a long time and had alot to learn. i see him now and he feels distant and colder towards me. i really want to see him but dont want to push him away. every one has said your young take time to be free but i really miss him as a best friend and lover and i dont think he feels the same. god i wish i could talk to him but everyone seems to think that its best to give him space if thats what he wants.

 

please if anyone has any advice i am all ears

[Chesnick]

It's hard to say if you will get back together. 16 months is a long time; however, my best friend recently broke up with his gf of 4 years, and now he seems happy as ever with a new girl and has no intention of getting back with the old.

 

I can only say what I'm sure everyone else has said: try to move on. If he has decided that he doesn't want to be with you anymore then you have to give him that freedom. Don't let your own thoughts drag you down; your life is not based upon him. You can live perfectly well without that person, but thinking about getting back together is only making your life hard.

 

Just identify the thoughts that make this so diffucult and look at them from a rational standpoint. You have the power to get over this. Everybody does. Everybody has to go through this sometimes. Just remember that you can be okay and you will be okay. In the meantime, do things with your friends or family and just try to keep your mind from obsessing over him.

[Rickster]

you could try looking at my thread

 

link removed

[Eadgbe]

In love, there is always one who suffers and one who is bored

 

this is a little off topic, but your signature is so true! ive been thinking about this lately. In every relationship i can think of, there always seems to be one person who has the 'upper hand', the one who is happy, confident, and totally independent of the other. Meanwhile the other person tends to feel jealous, clingy, under appreciated. It seems that whoever cares less is in charge.

[Rlet11]

hey, i just saw your post and i wanted to write back because i am going through the exact same thing. I was with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, and we decided to take a break this summer. It was mostly my doing, i had someone else that i was interested in and wanted to be able to have fun. Now, we both started college..(at the same school) and our relationship has slowly been falling apart. I realized this summer that there was nobody else that could take his place. Now, he decided that he wants his space. It isnt fair for me not to give it to him but its so hard. I love him so much and i cant stop thinking about it. I know that i need to move on and just not talk to him but it is driving me insane. I want to know where he is and what he is doing. The worst part is i know we are still in love, but i know he doesnt feel the way he used to. I went through the same thing but i know now that i need to be with him. We have been at school for a month now, and he hasnt put aside one night just to spend time with me. He forgets to call when he is sopposed to, and he doesnt look at me like he used to. It is definitly the hardest thing to ever go through. He called me yesterday on our anniversary to say happy aniversary ( it would have been 2 years 8 months) but i acted like i didnt care because we dont go out so it "would have been" our anniversary. He knows i am really upset but i am trying to act like im not. I am going to try and not talk to him, and see other people and tell myself i dont need him to be happy. My friends say that if he really loves me then he wont be able to not have me in his life. I think you should try this too, maybe it will help the both of us. Either they are going to realize that nobody will ever care about them like we do, or they will find out that they can feel the same way about someone else as they did with us, and thereforeeee they were never really in love.. I know its hard but im really going to try and i think you should too. Good luck with it..