Did I do something wrong?

[yo]

Hello everyone,

 

I'm back again. I'm the guy whose ex g/f of 4.5 yrs left him for his best friend. It's been more than 2 months since she left me. I've been doing NC for almost a month now.

 

Well, I just don't know what happened to me yesterday. I was reading this book.. it was some fiction about three students and their lives in the university. I really felt miserable reading it. I could relate to similar things I had done at my uni and with my best friend - my EX. I started missing her so much.. not as my love or soulmate or anything.. but just as my best friend. We've had so much fun!

 

I broke down.. this was at 3.30 AM. I wanted her back in my life so badly. I just didn't know what to do or whom to speak to. Suddenly I felt all alone and miserable. I said 'to hell with this NC..' It really didn't matter. I thought there was no meaning to LIFE if u really couldn't tell the person whom u miss, that u miss them. So, I texted my Ex.. it was a short message - 'I was thinking abt the university. Those days were so good. I miss u so much now'. I just didn't care if she if she replied back or not, I didn't care if she didn't miss me. But, I missed her and I had to tell her that I missed her. I wept for some more time after texting her and then went back to sleep.

 

It's morning and I'm still missing her so much. Did I do something wrong by texting her? She's not replied back and I just care.. In fact I don't want her to reply back coz I don't want to speak to her. But, I just had to let her know that I still miss her. Am I acting weak and needy again? The whole of last week I didn't reply back to any of her calls and now I send her a text message out of the blue. What would she be thinking?

 

Thank you guys.

[heloladies21]

Most likely she still thinks she has you as a security blanket. You didn't do anything that can't be fixed with another try, it just set you back. Go back into NC (even if she tries to contact you) and stick with it this time. You'll get there eventually.

[fIIsion]

Its been 5 months for me now and there are days that I miss my ex very much, still feel the pain, etc.

 

I'm beginning to learn that what I'm really missing is the past, the good times we had, the experiences we shared, but as stated these things are from the past, not the present.

You have probably heard this before, but its so true, that living in the past will only prevent you from healing, prevent you moving forward and living for the future.

 

Of course its only been 2 months for you, so I would expect your emotions to be still so raw.

I don't think what you did was wrong, but its important to try and understand what your ex is feeing.

I don't know your ex so I'm not in a position to understand what she is thinking, but if she is feeling any guilt, then telling her that you miss her will only reinforce those guilty feelings.

Its normal to over-romantise the relationship for the one thats been dumped, as time has passed, I'm starting to look at things in a more realistic light, starting to see that everything wasn't as perfect as I once thought.

If you plan to have any further contact, I would avoid any mention of how you feel, that you miss her, etc.........you need to regain control for yourself.

[TRAUMA]

It's bad if you're going to sit around and wait for a reply..DON'T..what you did was enuff..(something off your chest)..it's another day now..move on..You'll be alrigth!..good luck.