Is this a good sign or nothing?

[Miahni]

Hello all, my ex of 6 years msn'ed me last night (we have been msn'ing, talking, and we are supposed to get together for a talk soon) and asked how things were with me and I asked him what about him and he said he just got home from work and was going to play his game and then we chatted about his game for a bit. Then he asks:

 

Ex: What are you doing Friday?

Me: nothing that I am aware of why

Ex: It's your b-day and I was wondering

Ex again: Not going anywhere?

Me: no, no plans

Ex: ok, will talk to you later

 

What are your opinions of this? He is living with another girl I suspect a couple of weeks after he broke up with me. It's been 3 months since we broke up and it really hurts that she moved in so quickly as me and my ex never lived together.

 

We are supposed to have a talk soon, but no plans have been made. Do you think he was planning to talk to me on my b-day? And break my heart even more?????? Because it didn't really make sense for him to mention one week in advance about my birthday when he knows any little thing would give me hope. If he wanted to wish me happy birthday, he could have wished it on the actual day or asked what my plans were on that day if he wasn't going to do anything with me.... what is everybody's thoughts on this???? Had any other dumper done this with their ex or is he screwing with my mind??

 

Since we are supposed to talk, should I just ask him then when he wants to talk instead of waiting for the possibility that he wanted to talk Fri? I figure if he wanted to do something with me on my birthday, why didn't he ask in the conversation then??? Or is he planning to ask later? ARGH!

 

Thanks,

Miahni

[Natedoggld182]

it is hard to say what he meant. Take a deep breath....... exhale....... dont think about it, its your birthday so go have fun and dont worry about him. Let him do what he wants (calling, or plans). dont expect anything, and just leave it at that.

 

whatever happens, will happen. Have FUN!!! Its your birthday not his!

[SubtleGrace05]

The only person who has the answers to your questions is him.

 

Simply ask him what he meant.

 

Honesty is the best policy.

 

Try to keep your statements to "I feel" for instance, "When you mentioned my birthday I felt _______."

 

Maybe he isnt aware that he is messing with your mind. If he is aware, then he will know that you are aware.

[nataliejulie]

Communication is the key.

 

Only he has the answers... just ask!

 

I was very scared to ask, but I figured, better than just sitting around analyzing them.. and to my surprise

 

he answered honestly.

[Miahni]

What did you ask your ex Nataliejulie?

[Miahni]

Ok, I just asked him when he wanted to meet instead of waiting for him to possibly ask for Fri... we are supposed to have a talk...

 

He said when are you free (I was disappointed he didn't say Fri since he was asking about it last night)

 

So I said "you were asking about Friday?"

 

He said "if you weren't too busy"

 

He knows Friday is my birthday...

 

I said is that the day you wanted and he said it's up to you really and asked where I wanted to meet.

 

So I said the restaurant that we always went to for our celebration of our monthly anniversary. I said because it's quiet and not usually that busy

 

And he said ok, we can do that.

 

So it's on my birthday at "our" restaurant...

 

Is this good????? There is still a girl that is living at his place...so could he be so cruel to hurt me on my special day and our restaurant??? He knows the meaning behind them..

 

Any thoughts????

 

Thanks!

Miahni

[nataliejulie]

What did you ask your ex Nataliejulie?

 

I asked him - "Do you ever think about getting back together?"

 

He told me every minute of every day.

[nataliejulie]

Is the girl still there? It wouldn't be fair to either of you if she was!

 

Though... considering it is your birthday, I'm sure he wouldn't try to ruin it for you with things you didn't want to hear....... if he did, he wasn't worth it!

[Natedoggld182]

my situation is a bit different than yours, but I recently got dumped. and my birthday was a 2 weeks ago.

 

Trust me you will have a better time if you dont expect anything from him, i dont think he would try to ruin it for you, but going to your "place" may not be a good idea.

 

Dont expect him to say or do anything, otherwise if he doesn't say what you want to hear you will be disappointed. go out with your friends and spend time with them, show him that you dont need him to have a good time.

[Miahni]

Did your ex do anything / say anything for your birthday Natedoggold182?

 

Well I suggested the restaurant to him and he knows the significance of it being "our" restaurant, so he could have easily suggested another place if he didn't think it was a good idea - do you think?

 

And why would he mention my birthday last night and then say it's really up to me which day I want today when I ask him? I hope he isn't going to say things that will hurt me even more - are people that cruel to do it on someone's birthday? He could have suggested another day right?

 

ARGH I'm so scared. I don't want to get hurt anymore.

[nataliejulie]

are people that cruel to do it on someone's birthday? He could have suggested another day right?

 

My live-in boyfriend of three years, first love of my life, dumped me on my 21st birthday. (he was 25 at the time) We had all our friends in a limo, coming from from NYC, and he wispered in my ear that it was over. Worst birthday ever.

[skyjuice]

Wow, Natalie. That is really cruel of him!

[nataliejulie]

Wow, Natalie. That is really cruel of him!

 

My fault. Should have seen the red flags. He turned ugly. I had cancer towards the end of our relationship and I had to schedule surgery. I asked him to take me, but he said he couldn't because Thursdays were laundry day for him!

[misslonelyheart]

They can be that cruel.

 

My ex dumped me 3 days after my birthday. Totally out of the blue. Had a lovely birthday on the Wednesday, he bought me nice presents, had a nice day, everything normal.

 

On the following Saturday, he went out to book a restaurant for that night for the two of us for my birthday, he came back and dumped me...I guess the restaurant had no tables available!!

 

I can honestly say that i don't look forward to my birthday now as it will be a very miserable anniversary of being dumped by the love of my life (we were together 5 years and lived together 4.5).

[nataliejulie]

The love of your life wouldn't dump you on your birthday after he schedules you to take you out to dinner!

 

Think of it as a ... five year learning experience; lesson learned? Who not to date!

 

Sometimes I wish my ex did something terrible to me. It's like a slap in the face for me. "Hello, I'm a loser!" Then I could just move on my merry little way.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Did you finally cure from your cancer? I wish you well.

 

You are very brave, and courageous to go through the cancer schedule. It must be hard emotionally and physically. Heart break and cancer come together it would feel like living in hell.

[nataliejulie]

Heart break and cancer come together it would feel like living in hell.

 

 

Someone up there hates me!

[Juha]

A past ex boke up with me on Valentine's Day...

 

There I am giving her flowers and have plans to go out and she breaks up with me...

 

She could not have done it a week before???

 

Needless to say Valentine's day for me is so over rated....

[Miahni]

Ok, getting really really nervous now....

 

The talk is tomorrow and I really don't want to get hurt any more...I'm afraid to hear any bad news...for ex. "I'm living with a girl"...the one that pursued him...arrgh!

 

Are guys oblivious to special days? People normally don't agree to "talk" on the other person's birthday if they are going to be telling them bad news right????

 

Are there people who do that on purpose to get the point accross to the other person there is no hope?

 

Going Nuts!

Miahni

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Natalie, I would like to clarify that I do not hate you.

 

I am just telling what would feel if I were you.

 

Sorry, if it offends you.

[nataliejulie]

Hi

 

Natalie, I would like to clarify that I do not hate you.

 

I am just telling what would feel if I were you.

 

Sorry, if it offends you.

 

Oh no, I was laughing saying I had all this horrible stuff happen to me, someone up in heaven must hate me! haha!

[nataliejulie]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, by the way! Good luck tonight and keep us updated!

[Miahni]

Thanks for remembering my Birthday Natalie!!!!! Your positive thoughts helped!

 

I was soo nervous meeting him, I've never been this nervous, not even when we first started dating. Anyways it was a bit "awkward" in the beginning...small talk and I couldn't really read him, he was being a bit distant. I couldn't eat much that's for sure!!!! Anyway, we had a good talk ..... and yes, they do miss you even if they were with someone else, they do think about you and being with that someone else makes them think of the things they miss in you...

 

I hope your situation works out Natalie...

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Yes, they miss you.

 

But there does not means that they want to get back to you, right?

 

When we were together, I used to wait for my ex online to chat. He always end the conversation first. At that time, I did not feel any problem with it. Now, looking back at it, it does not feel good at all!

 

I resume contact with my ex on limited basis. He said he miss me and want to chat with me online. Because we are in different time zone, in order to chat, we have to set a time like making an appointment with someone. Anyway, due to his driving lesson, he told me he would be little late. I asked him to not to rush and suggested that another time would be better. I prefer to spend some quality chat time with him than him rushing time just to talk to me. I hope I would not regret my decision. He still have not suggest another appointment time.

 

When I were with him, I would tolerate his lateness and wait half to 1 hour for him. Now, I feel that he should respect my time, even when I have nothing to do at that moment.

 

Sometimes I feel like he take me for granted. After reading post of people who seek advice to initiate break up. I understand that it is at the best interest for both party to break up if one of them is

1. Not sure of their feeling.

2. Cannot see a future with them.

3. Not ready to have a relationship.

 

He is 3 years younger than me. Even though he admited that he does not know what he want in life. At least, he know that at this moment he does not want me in his life.

 

Anyway, I know what I want in life. I want him to be happy even though I am not the one in the end. I want to achieve professionalism in my career. I want to have a house and a car. I feel like I am more concentrating on myself.

 

Thank you for listening.

[nataliejulie]

Thanks for remembering my Birthday Natalie!!!!! Your positive thoughts helped!

 

I was soo nervous meeting him, I've never been this nervous, not even when we first started dating. Anyways it was a bit "awkward" in the beginning...small talk and I couldn't really read him, he was being a bit distant. I couldn't eat much that's for sure!!!! Anyway, we had a good talk ..... and yes, they do miss you even if they were with someone else, they do think about you and being with that someone else makes them think of the things they miss in you...

 

I hope your situation works out Natalie...

 

 

I hope I make us all proud!