Is my Ex playing games with me, should I move on.

[Breakingthegirl]

OK well If you dont know my sitaution I posted a topic a couple weeks ago...this is the link. link removed . Its a little long but it goes along with this.

 

 

Anyways, I am friends with him..but I am starting to doubt our friendship, heres what happned. We hung out yesterday, and It was going well. Well he wanted to rent a move and at first he asked me if I had money for it, I said yes, and also I asked him " Are you pitching in" he said, that hes buying a DVD for himself. When we get to the store he decides that we each pitch in for one movie, that is fair. Then later we are ording pizza and he doesnt have enough money and he askes me if I want to get the pizza and he pitches in like 5 bucks, at first I wasnt sure but then b4 he ordered he askes" So you want to get the pizza" . When the pizza gets thier him and his sister didnt even thank me for the pizza, well he does after I remind him. Anyways at the end of the school year he told me ( about a month ago and wrote a note for proof) we are going to get back together when school is over and Im going to move with him. He tells our friends that we wont be getting back together. I asked him about that and he said he said it becasue he didnt want to hear there Crap if he told them that we were. I also asked him why does he want me to go to FL with him and no one else( well his friend lives in FL) and he said " Becasue I love you". Anyways at his house we were kissing, we are friends with benefits. Then it brought back to me what he did to me on Tuesday so I asked him about it and he got mad, but then after he was fine with it once I dropped it, then we fooled around. Well now I know that he dumped me that day becasue like he said b4 " He doesnt have time for a gf becasue of school and working monday thur Friday" well I knew that anyway. So then b4 I left his house, I asked him "Are we friends with benefits" becasue I felt confused and he said "No becasue it screws up the relationship" and it was his idea in the first place to be FWB. Then I asked him if he wanted to hang out next week and he said " If im not busy" and its like we only hang out when he asks me. Is this a bad friendship? This whole thing is messing me up It hurts me bcasue he has changed so much and he isnt himself anymore.

[RayKay]

Yes it's a bad friendship because you are not happy with just friendship and are wanting more - and you are even including using "benefits" as a way to move towards more. To him they are just benefits - no strings attached.

 

There are too many emotions on your side to have this as a healthy friendship, and HE is stringing you along and keeping his options open. He gets to keep you around just in case, but does not have any responsibility to you...you make the sacrifices, and he sacrifices nothing. In a sense I suspect you are also stringing things along hoping he will change his mind, or see something in you that makes him realize he made a mistake and so forth.

 

It's best for you to move on, and work on healing yourself without being around him right now. He won't forget about you just because you are not there all the time, and if there is a chance for a reconciliation, you need to heal first. But, I think you will realize in time apart you deserve someone whom does not put you on a backburner whenever it suits them to do so anyway, and that you deserve better. Respect yourself first of all right now.

[Deeplydepressed]

Me of all people should not be giving advice on friends with benefits. But it souonds like he is done with the relationship. I'm sorry you have been hurt and that he is playing with your emotions. Trust me, he wants to probrably have you around, but keep his options open. I would find someone else new to appreciate you or take some time out to discover you. Friends with benefits is a bad idea if you love him because in the end you will get hurt.

[Breakingthegirl]

Well what I dont understand is that he puts the moves on me and flirts with me. He wants to be with me in the future when we graduate high school. But as a friend hes weird.

[kellbell]

I would have to say he is messing with your head to some degree. He's using you as a secruity blanket and you are familiar to him. Plus he knows that will go to him when he flirts and "puts the moves on you." You are a sure thing. My advice to you, cut him off for awhile. Let him figure out what you mean to him, if anything at all. He's not a good friend at all, he knows how you feel and yet he continues to screw with your head. You are too young to get bogged down into this nonsense. Wishing you the best and take care.

[Breakingthegirl]

I tried to not talk to him, he comes and flirts with me. Its kinda hard to ignore someone thats flirting with you, lol. How can I Ignore him. Thats why Im so confused about him

[RayKay]

I tried to not talk to him, he comes and flirts with me. Its kinda hard to ignore someone thats flirting with you, lol. How can I Ignore him. Thats why Im so confused about him

 

Tell him you have to go meet a friend.

 

Tell him you have other things to do.

 

Tell him do not want to go to his place for movies and pizza.

 

It is not that hard to remove yourself from a situation like that if you really want to. Just walk away.

[Breakingthegirl]

The thing is I always feel like I dont want to just drop him. I dont know why, I have mixed feelings for example I dont want to talk to him

Well maybe he finally realized he was being a jerk and now hes going to treat me better I know Im hopeless[/b]

[RayKay]

The thing is I always feel like I dont want to just drop him. I dont know why, I have mixed feelings for example I dont want to talk to him

Well maybe he finally realized he was being a jerk and now hes going to treat me better I know Im hopeless[/b]

 

Mixed feelings are normal, trust me when I say most of us have been there. But you need to sift through the feelings and look at his actions:

 

He broke up with you.

 

He does not see being with you as a priority.

 

He tells you one thing, but his friends another.

 

 

 

Don't you think you deserve better than that? Someone who sees you as a partner in their life, because the truth is life never gets "easier" or less busy...it is all about how you choose your priorities.