What would you do?

[Poet_gurl]

If you were 20 and the man (or woman) that you truly were in love with was 38, but a man (or woman) of your same age fancied you and wanted to be with you? Would you go for the 20 year old because he was your age and it would better fit into "The norm" or would you follow your heart and be with the 38 year old? (btw, this is not my situation, just a convient hypothetical I would personally follow my heart, but I know that so many others would give up on true love and go for the same-ager just so it would please other people. And that is sad, IMHO. Love is love..it should know no race, age, religion...etc.

 

But what would YOU do?

[GregB]

I'm 31 and I'm "hanging out" with a girl who only recently turned 18.

She's everything a guy could ever want in a woman, but I have to accept that she's not ready for what I want even if she felt the same way about me. She's got to go to college, meet guys, get drunk at frat parties, experiment with girls....you know, the usual stuff young people have to go through before they really know what they want out of life.

 

I've also dated women much older than me. Older women (Women in their forties) tend to have given up on love and are now looking for the long-term meal ticket as they proceed to fall apart physically. I can't blame them, I guess. I'm 31 and I've just about given up on love myself.

 

I guess my conclusion is then, for long-term happiness, you should probably stick to people no more than 9 years older or younger than yourself.

 

In the event you find yourself with someone more young or older than this, admit up front that it won't be a long term thing then just proceed to make the most of your time together until it eventually falls apart. At least you'll have known it was coming. And if it doesn't, hey.

 

-GregB

[tobigahart]

Neither! 38 to 20 is too large of an age gap for you to work perfectly together. And seeing someone just cause they like you is no way to find true love either What you have to understand is that there is not one person out there who you could match perfectly with, but MANY! Don't settle for second best, you'll only regret it later in life. In you're aiming for true love wait till you find that perfect person who meets ALL of yoiur criteria (well I'm sure you could miss a few if you had to ). I have'nt found mine but I know there are people out there somewhere who would die for me, and me them...

[charmed]

I agree. I think that the life experiences of those two ages makes it near to impossible for each to meet in the middle.

 

ToBigAHart says it right - there are so many people out there that can fit your needs properly - thought at times it can seem like the one you are after is the only one that exists!

 

In saying that, hopefully ToBigAHarts signature is right

 

Al.

[cris67]

I don't think the age difference matters when people meet but over time we change and grow. A 20 yr old person could start wanting to experience things that a 38 yr old has already done and doesn't wish to re-visit. Two 20 yr olds would probably grow-up together and both make mistakes which could threaten the relationship. You don't really get a choice who you fall for.