what do you think a good age to start having sex is???

[morethanyouthink]

ok so yes as you might have noticed i am 13 dont freak out and start telling me i shouldnt go newhere near sex until im alot older ive heard quite enough of that as it is, ok so alot of my friends have already had sex and dont think that they're lying cuz my friend tina shes 14 she has sex all the time like she cant even remember how many times no shes not lying she just decides to screw ppl shes just met and like doesnt care if shes in a relationship or if they are you might be wondering how i know shes telling the truth... she had to take a pregnancy test and her mom helped her so i seriously doubt she would do that just to fool ppl... newayz i just want to know what age u think is good, and what kind of relationship u should be in oh and also if u dont mid how old u were and what kind of relation ship u were in!

thanx

[sidehop]

It depends on the culture...in the United States it seems like people especially nowadays are having sex at a very early age.

 

I would say there's no right age but also as young as you are, you must understand what sex is really about & the risks you are taking by having sexual intercourse with the partner.

 

I'm sure you've heard your parents & other people talk about contraceptives and keeping yourself safe. You are not 100% protected from pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease and worst of all AIDS.

 

All I can say is if you do have any sexual intercourse, be protected and becareful who you are with.

[melrich]

i just want to know what age u think is good

 

I don't know that there is a definitive answer for that. I think a good age to start having sex is when you are ready for the responsibility of having sex and all it entails.

 

I am in my 30s and so are most of my female friends. All I can tell you is that nearly everyone of my females friends that I have talked to about this has said they had sex too young, without exception they all wish they had waited longer regardless of whether their first time was at 14 or 19.

[RayKay]

I would say your friend is not a great role model. She is endangering her life, never mind risking pregnancy...and her self esteem as well. I would say she may talk about it, but I don't think she is proud of herself deep down....and it very likely will be a regret later in life, especially when she meets someone very special.

 

 

The time to start having sex is different for EVERYONE as it depends on their beliefs, values comfort. Some people do it as they have low self esteem, some do it as they are with a long-term partner whom cares deeply about them and they make the mutual decision to do so.

 

In the same vein as melrich said above...I wish I had waited longer personally. I always hear people say they wish they had waited, never hear them say they wish they had NOT!

[aireyc]

I really don't see what the big deal is here. I'm 17 and am waiting for marriage as I feel you should only have sex with someone you truly love. What's the point? Is it to be cool? Is it because it feels good? Is it because everyone else is doing it? If you're married that's one thing, but outside of that I really don't see why so many people care about it. Not only is there the emotional state, but if you insist on doing it before you're older, you must realize the repurcussions. First you can get a disease, possibly AIDS. That's something everyone wants! Not only could you get a disease but you could also get pregnant. Then you'll have to support the baby, add on the doctor's appointments and all of the stress for 9 months. If you think abortion then you're just killing another human so I don't see how that's a good thing. All in all I don't see why people are so into having sex in the first place, let alone at a younger age.

 

So if you ask for an age? It's different for everyone. I'd say you're ready when you can realistically tell yourself "I am willing to risk getting a disease. I am willing to spend the next 9 months of my life carrying a baby. I am willing the spend the next 19+ years of my life raising a child." You're 13? Nineteen years (During pregnancy and until they're 18.) is almost 1.5 times your age. Are you ready for it, let alone by yourself?

[JynX]

There's no good or bad age to start having sex. It's all a matter of personal opinion. For some 15 is a good age, for others it's way too early. It's an opinion. Nothing is set in stone about it.

 

As far as what kind of relationship you should be in goes...me, I'm going to wait until I've been dating a guy for a while (meaning over a year) and if I feel like there's a future. It's all about trust and how comfortable you two are together, really. Personally I'm going to wait until I'm atleast 18 to even think about losing my virginity. My thinking is, what's the point of losing it so early to someone you'll probably never see again now if you can wait a few more years and not hold regrets?

 

Another way to look at it: you know when you're ready to lose it, that's when you don't have to ask this question.

 

 

[Tigris]

You will know when you are emotionally and physically ready to have sex. It's just a feeling you get. I'll try and explain.

 

When you are not ready your mind says things like 'What will my parents think if they find out? I'm going to be called a sl*t or easy by people at school. My grandparents are going to be very disappointed in me.'

 

The physical side can also cause problems. Your muscles in and around the vagina can't relax. There's no lubrication so anything that tries to enter hurts due to the friction.

 

I've heard some boys brag that they couldn't enter the girl because they were too big! That's not true! A vagina can stretch to accommodate all sizes of penis! The problem was that the girl didn't want him there in the first place! She wasn't ready to lose her virginity!

 

My first relationship was with a boy when I was 13-16. Neither of us were 'little angels' however we never had sex. When I was 16 he pestered me continuously but I never gave in because I wasn't ready.

 

My first husband and I lost our virginities to each other when we were engaged. I was 22 and he was 20! My second husband lost his when he was 28! One of my sister's lost her's at 18! My youngest sister? Well I dread to think. I doubt she'll ever tell us the truth because she regrets it now! I reckon she was between 14-16!

 

However, when she was a little older she discovered she had a cyst between her legs and had to have it lanced then about 6 months later the doctor said she was pregnant. She insisted she wasn't and they discovered she had a 7lb Ovarian Cyst! She has a scar from her navel down to her genital area! (I don't know if having sex early caused these problems?)

 

I hope this information has helped you.

 

Take care. You are welcome to PM me anytime.

 

 

[Shadows Light]

I don't think there is a defined good age to start having sex. Physiologically we are built to have sex at an early age. Hence the start of menstrual cycles at an early age. And that all has to do with evolution. You have to remember tht evolution takes a long time to make change to the body that fit in the environment today. You've studied this in biology or science class I'm sure. We all used to have WAY more body hair to help protect us from the environment.. and we've evolved when we figured out how to live longer by keeping warmer with clothing. Hitorically.. looking back back back in time lines... the mortality age was about mid 30's. And look at us today.. we are living well past 90. I think the average in US is set in the mid to late 70's. So you've seen that we've evolved with our environment and with times.

 

Your body is ready to produce a baby at what... age 12 when you first start your period??? and its set up sooo young because our species is set up to BREED. The whole SEX thing is just a way for us to propogate this planet. And we've done a darned fine job of it haven't we? Also, since people didn't live to ripe old ages... neither did babies.. so our bodies are set to a young age.. so we can breed breed breed away. Did you know.. that out of all the mammal species of the world.. only 12 species breed for life. Meaning a male and female stay together as a pair. Amazing. And the human mammal... is the only species that can breed when it is not in heat... or ovulating.. amazing isn't it???? cool stuff those biology classes....

 

Anway... getting to the point. Life used to be much simpler in times gone by. Today.. to survive you need to get a good job... how else are you going to feed that baby... well we've figured out a good way around that one haven't we... in the 60's with the invention of the pill(history class.. would be a good topic for a HS paper one day..) ..anway with the advent of the pill, a better contraceptive.. we've got more freedom to have sex and do what feels good. ehhh but mother nature has an answer to it all after all... thats why she's the great MOTHER... and she threw in a bunch of monkey wrenches to slow down this prolific propogation and breeding grounds called STD's... all those lovely disease you can get from just having a little bit of fun. I'm sure in the bigger picture of everything.. there's a reason for it all.

 

Things have changed a great deal with evolutions.. physically.. you are built to sustain a baby at a younger age.. can't guarentee a healthy baby.. because the younger you are the more difficult the pregancy.. your still growing after all. You have to remember.. even way back one.. the biggest killer of women was child-birth. We're lucky today.. we've got so many medical advances to help us a long.. but even still its tough on a kid having a kid. Evolution may have not changed us physically...but mentally.. we've got GOBS to grow these days. A high school education is hardly suficient anymore to get you into a descent paying job.. to support yourself let alone a baby.

 

So to wrap it up. I'd say... that you are ready.. when you are ready, mind... body and soul. When you are ready to take on the risks of all that sex entails.

 

Personally.. I was 18..and I wasn't ready. Not mentally ready for a physical relationship. I waited after that till I was 20. And yes.. I regret it. I wasn't fully developed yet as a person.. to have sex. SEX is a very personal and private thing. Your girlfriend being so young and not remembering how many times she's already had sex.. WOW. Sooo sad, I think. And not something I would confess let alone... brag about it. And it is bragging.. she told you didn't she? Thats bragging.

 

I just read another post in a different thread that said.. Sexuality is 99% mental. Its the brain that operates and is the biggest sex organ.. (again science and health class).... if you learn anything.. anything at all from these posts to you.. I want you to remember one phrase...

 

"KNOWLEDGE IS POWER" develop your brain... learn as much as you can learn about everything and anything. Yes.. including this subject. I commend you for going out and seeking inforamtion, digging up data ...to be able to form an opinion of your own and make choices. THAT is a very very good skill to learn...and to keep.

 

I'm not going to give you a lecture on when you are going to do it. You already know whats coming. But I'd strongly advise you to make sure you are protected.. should you descide to venture into the adult world... and to your own self be true. RUN YOUR OWN SHOW.. WRITE your own script.. write your own book. Its about you and choices you make that are entirely up to you.. not your friends or what they do. But YOU. The choices you make can hardly matter to anyone here... how much emtional investment do we have in you.. ??? The choices you make ... you will have to live with for the rest of your life. So I suggest you make wise and well informed choices. Always... look at yourself and strive for better than. Set your goals high...and work to them. Having SEX maybe easy at age 13. and thats all it is then. Its over-rated at a young age. You'll end up thinking.. "THIS IS IT????" lol But its not until you get older that you will learn... fully.. what it is to making LOVE. And there is a HUGE HUGE difference between the two.

[skyteph]

If you're with a guy and you love him, /and/ know the risks involved, that's a time when you should be able to engage in sex if you want (but not necessarily have to).

[nosoul]

hey! There is no real good age to start having sex. You have to be ready. For me i m not ready and my boyfriend understands that. When i m going to be ready is when i m going to marry the guy or on my wedding night.i know that sounds really stupid but i have thought about it alot.And that is what i came up with same as for you, you have to think about all the stuff that could happen. And see if you are ready for the diseases , the crabs ,the baby. None of that could ever happen but are you ready for it if it does happen??? Can you handle it if it does happen????

[justpaisley]

Would you openly admit to your grandmother that you're having sex?

 

If not, then you're not ready.

 

A few more questions:

 

How would you deal with a pregnancy? Do you have the money or the emotional preparedness to execute your plans? (i.e. could you give the baby up for adoption? Do you have $300 for an abortion? Do you have $250,000 to raise a child over 18+ years? Or could you get that money?)

 

If you are to contract an STD, are you prepared to openly tell everyone that you ever sleep with again that you have one? Are you prepared for the doctor's visits involved with an STD? Are you prepared to take a bunch of pills or smear a bunch of cream all over your private parts for the rest of your life? Are you ready for crabs? Are you ready to die with AIDS?

 

I won't say a blanket age that people are ready for sex, because there are many other factors. I have never met a 13-year-old (or 14, 15, 16... year old) with the emotional ability to deal with any of the above and your friend Tina is not an exception.

 

I was 20 when I first had sex, but I was married AND ready to deal with anything associated with sex. Many 20-year-olds are not. See the difference?

[dw_rc...Confused]

Would you openly admit to your grandmother that you're having sex?

 

I don't think I'd ever do that, quite strange really

[RayKay]

Would you openly admit to your grandmother that you're having sex?

 

I don't think I'd ever do that, quite strange really

 

Have to agree, I think I could be married with 5 kids (all conceived and born naturally) and I STILL don't know if it something I would tell my grandmother.

 

I can talk with my mother about it maybe...but not grandma

[Day_Walker]

Its actually pretty simple, you should have sex when you want to have it. Other people and religious authorities are going to tell you when you should have sex, its a personal choice, now if you have faith in these people or religious authorities then you can believe what they tell you.

 

It would be best if you made a conscious decision to have sex, knowing the risks and implications of your actions, that would be the ideal. Some people want to make the first time special while others its just something to get out of the way, you need to decide what kind of person you are.

[justpaisley]

LOL - I'm not suggesting anyone should walk up to Grandma and say "I had a great roll in the hay last night..."

 

My point is, a person wouldn't normally admit doing something that he or she is ashamed of doing, except in cases of reverse psychology. If someone is ashamed of his or her actions at all, he or she should change those actions.

 

I know that my grandmother assumes that I have sex, as I am married and have been pregnant. My sex life is not my grandmother's business, but I am not ashamed that my grandma(s) know that I am sexually active. I'll bet dollars to donuts, however, that a 13-year-old would be horrendously ashamed if her grandmother found out that she was sexually active (as well she should be, IMO). That feeling is indicative of her not being ready to have sex.

 

Nobody should ever be ashamed to have sex. Sex in and of itself is not a shameful thing. It's the surrounding circumstances that make the sex shameful.

 

I hope I've made my point. I've been cleaning my house and inhaling fumes and am probably not explaining myself as well as I should.

[Shinobie]

hey! There is no real good age to start having sex. You have to be ready. For me i m not ready and my boyfriend understands that. When i m going to be ready is when i m going to marry the guy or on my wedding night.i know that sounds really stupid but i have thought about it alot.And that is what i came up with same as for you, you have to think about all the stuff that could happen. And see if you are ready for the diseases , the crabs ,the baby. None of that could ever happen but are you ready for it if it does happen??? Can you handle it if it does happen????

 

 

Oh my goodness praise u nosoul!!!!You are like one of the very few girls i hear say that!Some teenage girls do have some great and high morals and im glad i hear that your boyfriend accepts that u dont want too .I personally dont think its stupid you are truly beatiful person for thinking that.Hope i meet a girl like you someday u give me hope.I wish the best for you and your bf hope things go well take care.

[SexyGyal]

I am very glad there is a post like this!! i seem to always be getting ''omg ur 13 nearly 14, thats waaay too young'' I dont see what the problem is, if ur happy, feel ready and want to then why has anyone got to be going round telling you how to do things and when u can start!!

[abstar]

to be quite honest with you i first had sex at about 14 and i was ready and was in a good relationship it just got to the point where it just felt so right and so that was that but i mean im now with my new partner who ive been with for 9 months and sex is great! as long as it's safe sex do what feels right...

[Serendipity1607307077]

My suggestion to you is to not get involved in anything until you are ready. If someone is pushing you to go further, don't do it unless you feel comfortable.

 

I waited until I was 17, and I am still with the same person after two years!

However my brother, who is now 17, made a bad mistake and has a baby with a lady my mother's age...

 

You just have to be careful and do things on your own time.

[combat_barbie]

Whenever you know you can handle it. It's whenever you realise the consequences. I don't jsut mean STDs and pregnancy although those are very important. I mean anything someone might insult you for it, you might wind up getting dumped sooner than you expect, your friends might judge you, etc. Just don't do it so a guy will like you or anything like that because it might not work and your probably not ready if that is why you are doing it. Do it for you, do it because you want to not because some guy does. Theres no real age that if "too young" though people develop at different times both physically and emotionally.

[Stari]

When is a good age to start having sex? When you are able to buy condoms and read the instruction of how to put the condom on; While putting on the condom, squeeze the top to remove air.

 

People seem to be divided into to camps on the sex issue: Those who primarily wish to reach wonderful orgasms and those who primarily want to feel a mental connection with their partner. I am of the orgasmic kind and my advice reflect that.

 

Apparently people who have their sexual debute early have sex more frequently later in life. They learn to enjoy sex for the sake of the orgasms. That is their payoff. This is what happens with women in their 30's: They have had sex for years, been disappointed, lost expectations and thereforeeee * Ta-Daa * get their first orgasm. Now when they know what they have been missing, the new members of the orgasmic community do no longer tell themselves: "Sex is all about making slow love in the sunset while smiling."

 

Those who wait, are more proned to get hang ups about having sex often, even after marriage. I personally think that if you spend 10-15 years telling yourself that sex is dirty, you suddenly will not start thinking it is a virtue having sex. They may think that their virginity is a treasure they give away: A treasure consisting of a dry vagina and the absense of orgasm. So having lubrication ready is recommended.

 

Practice. The 5th or 10th time is good. But you have to begin with the first time to get to the 5th time. "I wish I would have waited." I interpret as "I wish I could have jumped immediately to the 7th time."

 

Regardless of when you start having sex with a partner, learning to masturbate yourself to orgasms is probably a good idea. When you know how to bring yourself to orgasm you can the show your partner.

 

Then get orgasms and become a more happy person.