she has a boyfriend?

[justme123]

I've been hanging out with this girl a lot that I really like but, I think that she has a boyfriend. His name is on her answering machine, etc.

What's the best way I can ask her if she does have a boyfriend, and if she does, how do I find out if her and I just friends or if there is something more between us. Other than her boyfriend, I would think she is very interested in me too but, I'm afraid to go any further because of the boyfriend thing.

[Tigris]

The only way you are going to be able to answer your questions is to ask her. I'm sure she'll appreciate your direct approach.

 

Let me know how you get on.

 

Good luck.

[saint_saul]

Tigris is right, you just have to be frank and ask her. If you're lucky, and you wait, it will probably come up in casual conversation -- this way you won't sound too interested. But if it doesn't, just plainly ask her.

[MetallicAguy]

You could do what Tigris and Saint Saul said, or you could hit on her, if she doesn't like it she'll probably bring up her bf. Or you could do something like ask her if she wants to go out for dinner.

[Gilgamesh]

Yep, just ask, If she is not interested in you as a BF, she will just say she has someone already.

 

If you known her a long time, and she has had an interest in you, she is probably wondering why you dont like her enough to have asked her out by now, unless you make your move, if she doesnt have a boyfriend she will get one soon.

 

by the way, not nice to be checking her answering machine.

[justme123]

Tigris, saint_paul, Thanks for the advice! I agree with you guys about the direct approach. I'm just a little nervous about it.

 

MetallicAguy, Her and I work together during the week. I haven't exactly hit on her, but we flirt a lot and always hang out and talk on breaks. She gave me her number a couple weeks ago and said we should hang out on the weekend. I never call her till Sunday though and we haven't had a chance to hook up outside of work yet. I didn't work last Friday because I went to a show outside of town with some of my friends and she called me on Thursday night and left a message saying to have fun and be safe, etc.

What I'm thinking is that if we do get a chance to go out on together on the weekend I'll ask her if she has a boyfriend. If she says shedoes, would it be a bad idea to ask her why she's with me instead of him?

[justme123]

Gilgamesh, I didn't "check" her answering machine. I called her phone number, which she gave me. What I mean by his name being on her answering machine, is that his name, along with her and her roommate, is in the recorded message that you hear when you call her and you get the machine.

I've only known her since I started working with her. Around like two months. Also, I didn't start getting to know her right away. I just started talking to her on breaks for the past three weeks or so, and gotten to know her better and became interested in her. If it wasn't for the boyfriend thing, I would have made bigger moves weeks ago.

[justme123]

Is it bad that I'm up at 4 am thinking about this? lol

[Gilgamesh]

Nah, in love and war there are no rules, hehe.

 

Just ask her out, the other guy could be just a buddy she hangs with because she has no BF yet, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

Oh and another thing, just because she may say "not available", now, doesnt mean that 1 months from now she wont say yes, she will rememebr that your interest in her is more than wanting to be a friend and may even ask you out!.

[Unmotivated]

Gilgamesh, I didn't "check" her answering machine. I called her phone number, which she gave me. What I mean by his name being on her answering machine, is that his name, along with her and her roommate, is in the recorded message that you hear when you call her and you get the machine.

I've only known her since I started working with her. Around like two months. Also, I didn't start getting to know her right away. I just started talking to her on breaks for the past three weeks or so, and gotten to know her better and became interested in her. If it wasn't for the boyfriend thing, I would have made bigger moves weeks ago.

 

Maybe it's the name of her roommate's boyfriend?

[Tigris]

Energismus I was just about to say that.

 

The only way to find out is to talk to her.

 

Good luck.

 

 

[asdf]

i would just go up to her and ask her "are you single?" (as in suspiciously).

[Tigris]

You must really like her if you're awake at 4am thinking about her!

 

Stop waiting and start doing. Go and ask her.

 

Let us know how you got on.

 

Good luck.

 

 

 

[dw_rc...Confused]

Is it bad that I'm up at 4 am thinking about this? lol

 

Welcome to my life, I'm doing that all the time, I even did it last night

[justme123]

I've been talking to her on the phone a lot recently. She's been really sick so I haven't seen her in person much. I talked to her the other day for like 5 hours. It turns out she knows a lot of the same people that I do. We don't work together anymore, so that kind of sucks since I don't see her as much.

Anyways, about her boyfriend. She does in fact have a boyfriend, but they have been separated for a while. They used to live together but recently he has moved away and they hardly see each other. I guess he's been dealing drugs and having problems with the police. She said that he had been lying about it and that's why they aren't seeing each other right now. Her boyfriend is a guy that she has known for like 7 years, I'm not really sure how long they have been together though.

I like her a lot and it really seems like she likes me too, but the boyfriend makes it pretty complicated. I'm not too sure how I can pursue her without disrespecting her relationship.

[Tigris]

Try talking to her about the relationship. Tell her how you feel about her.

She maybe ready to move on from that relationship. You won't know unless you ask.

 

Good luck.