Too controlling..

[mandy_n_jut]

Me and my current BF of 8 months have been living together. He is my first real love and I lost my virginity to him. I am his 2nd. I haven't noticed a problem in the beginning of our relationship, but now notice that I am kinda controlling. My BF likes to play online games A LOT, and I get mad about it, because I feel like he is neglecting me to be online. He gets on as soon as he wakes up, and all throughout the day. He tells me that, that is just what he likes to do. I know that he loves me a lot. When I do bring it to his attention, he says things like "do you wanna be attached at the hip", or "do you want me to crawl up your butt?" And is like geez all I wanna do is play my game, and he tells me that I am controlling. Am I not being fair or is he not being fair?

[Avalon23199]

I don't think you are being too controlling, but at the sametime, it sounds like you are trying to change him. I'm sure that he played video games before you came along, and nothing is going to change that now. My ex was like that and now my current is like that also. Boys will boys, and there is nothing us girls can do about it.

 

Maybe instead of nagging him about playing his video games, you can make suggestions for you guys to hang out together. Say things like "Hey, maybe we can rent a movie tonight" or something along those lines. He'll appreciate that more. I can tell you this much, this relationship isn't going to last if there isn't communication between the two of you. He isn't taking you forgranted, he is just doing what he enjoys.

[sasha505]

I think you need to respect the things that he enjoys doing and give him some time to just play games... however, if he's ignoring you in favour of playing them most of the time, it's a problem and you need to talk to him about it.

 

Maybe have allocated "date nights" or couple time where the games are turned off and you get out of the house together and spend "quality time".

[djedix]

How much do you know about online games?

 

They can be come very addicting, to the point where you wana spend all day online playing them. I know i've played 2 in the past 3 years. And there has been times when i was single, where i would just come home from work, and jump right on, and before I knew it it was 3am.....

 

One thing i dont think many people understand is that, when you play these games... the stuff in them is always changing.. That's why people can get addicted to them very easly. It's kinda also like a giant competition to see who can be the best. whos got the best gear, who's the strongest of them all.

 

Personally i usally drop the game now if a girl / friends wants to hang out or something. i

[HajiMaji]

As a dude i love video games. I could definitely play them all day if i wanted. Im lucky because I dont get sucked in like a lot of dudes. I will say that i have a bunch of friends who play games like crazy and each time it effects thier relationship.

 

There is nothing wrong with playing games online. The problem is he isnt treating you right. He needs to be gentle and supportive and he needs to listen when you are upset. It seems like he just brushed you off.

 

I know a lot of my friends are insecure about playing games so much and anytime thier GF's would bring it up they would act like your guy. I wish you luck in talking t him more about this!

[kellbell]

Maybe you guys can come up with a compromise. Like putting away special times for you two do things without video games. Because otherwise, I don't see a solution. If you guys are mature enough to live together, then surely you two can work something out. Video games can get very addicting, there are a few I got very addicted to but the interest faded after awhile. My boyfriend goes into spirts too, he will buy a game he really likes, play it all the time, then he gets bored. But while he is fixated on the game, I do my own thing, like watch movies he would never watch, talk on the phone with my friends. You might want to try that as well if you have not already. I do agree with the other posters though, he should be a little more senstitive about your feelings torwards this manner. Good luck and take care.